From all my previous boasts about how Caitlin never looked back since starting school, I was suddenly defeated when I heard her utter these words this week. This being only the 3rd week of school this year.
This is her second year of schooling. The whole of last year was pretty much trouble free, sans the to-be-expected comments raised during parent-teacher meetings about how noisy or chatty Caitlin can be in class! Except for a few incidents, she had generally enjoyed school, the teachers and friends.
I think she first said this to me on Wednesday night, but not really “a real issue” type of urgency. It was the first I had heard of it, but thought I had managed to convince her to go anyway, thinking perhaps it was just grumpiness due to lack of sleep in the mornings.
She did offer something in this conversation. She said something about not liking Teacher Ann and Teacher Rachel coming in and out of the classroom. Teacher Rachel is the home teacher. They’d be swapping / changing over teachers between subjects, but Teacher Ann would be teaching English (and I think Bahasa) whilst Teacher Rachel would cover everything else.
Then she said it again on Thursday night, sounding a little more urgent. This conversation was a little challenging, she was just refusing to agree to go. Offers of seeing friends at school, new things to learn, etc, didn’t seem to go down at all.
Friday morning came and it got more urgent. She was pleading not wanting to go. I think it was when I was beside her blow-drying my hair (don’t laugh- drying after a shower, not styling, okay?) while she was getting her hair pleated by our domestic helper that she said something about Teacher Ann scolded her, being fierce, don’t know how to do the English, lizard and library.
Piecing it together, she started not liking school because of Teacher Ann. Apparently Teacher Ann’s style is that of loud and fierce, which I guess Caitlin isn’t used to.
Friday morning in car I said to Caitlin that I’d speak to Teacher Rachel. I tried being careful not letting Caitlin get the impression that I was going to change anything- kids should get used to “fierce” teachers, especially with our plans for her to attend Chinese school (notorious for such teachers), and also that the should be put into stressful environs to learn how to deal with it.
Stopped the car, helped her exit the car, and went to see Teacher Rachel, who is on duty to greet the kids at the road. Caitlin hung around, making sure I did talk to Teacher Rachel.
In Mandarin we chatted. I asked if there was anything in class that may contribute towards Caitlin’s hesitation to attend school- a bully perhaps, a fierce teacher. Initially she shared that she too felt a similar sentiment from earlier in the week; there was a few times at the teacher-change over that Caitlin went to her and asked to go home. I asked what Teacher Ann’s style was, again being careful not to criticise; which I wasn’t- I just needed to ascertain the cause of her hesitation. Teacher Rachel then thought and offered a “you know you could be right” answer. I reiterated that I wasn’t asking teachers to change their styles; I just wanted to know if that was the only factor.
The lesson for me? That what I read about kids generally avoiding something has all to do with some bad (ongoing) experience from it. The challenge is trying to “pry” it out of them, to get to the source of it.
