Yesterday was (also) Caitlin’s school’s parent-teacher meeting.

Chief among the things that Teacher Rachel told me was that Caitlin is among the popular kids in her only-15-student class.

It’s not surprising really. Caitlin makes friends very easily. She approaches humans her height, greets them with her smile/grin, engages them in what they may be up to. She does also almost follow them around, which I have seen kinda freaks the new-stranger kids out. But as with kids her age (at least last year anyway), they talk to each other and go from there (becoming friends). One time we were out and she was already galavanting with these stranger-kids, and when I told her that we had to leave, she shouted “BYE FRIEND!” Obviously didn’t know their names!

Teacher Rachel, whom have had Caitlin in her class since 2009, has kinda watched her grow. She’s also shared with me that Caitlin likes to have friends, likes to be around people, does not like to be alone.

Therefore it is no surprise that Caitlin likes going to school. Her report card from yesterday showed that she had only missed one day in the total of 96 days so far this year.

The downside, however (I won’t say is typical but not surprising to me) is that she cannot be shamed or be put on the spot.

Because she is (or has to be) popular, she finds it very difficult when she is reprimanded when she is at fault- either forgetting her homework, doing the wrong thing, etc. Teacher Rachel also said that Caitlin is (therefore?) somewhat competitive. There is a particular girl that Caitlin is quite friendly with, with whom lately I hear stories about how they are competing. Whatever the friend is doing or has achieved, Caitlin seems to need to be one better.

… Sounds like she has obviously inherited these traits from Hot Mummee! But jokes aside, looks like I have my guiding-work cut out: To guide her on the positive side of being popular and competitive, but coach her on the negative aspects of these, such as negative influence / peer pressure, what “healthy competition” means, etc…..

I was just reading this article about disciplining children, and reminded me of what had happened only this morning.

Granted it would always be the parents’ fault if children don’t get sufficient sleep/not going to bed early enough. Of late, I have found that Caitlin would still wake at around the same time in the morning, even if it wasn’t a school day (much like last week’s week-long break), even if she did not retire on time. She still gets her afternoon naps, so I am a little relieved that she would still be getting some growing-time (research says that baby lambs can actually grow cm’s while sleeping; let alone the rest the brain requires).

Still, no excuses though.

Of late on schooldays, I have also started waking her a little later than earlier this year- I have started waking her almost 30min later now. Decided on this because, other than both of us getting a little more sleep, I had also found that she used to be waiting to leave, all dressed and ready and catching a bit more of Playhouse Disney in the meantime.

Waking her this morning wasn’t as difficult as Monday morning this week (cos we were all at a relative’s wedding dinner and all retired very much later than usual). Still, being her usual self she was moping around and taking too long doing everything (getting her morning dose of milk, teeth-brushing, washing up).

Instead of grunting at her, I tried this: “You know, if you wanna do things so slowly, then Daddee will have to wake you earlier so that you won’t be late for school… Either you do things quickly and not be day dreaming and wake up a bit later/get to sleep some more, or I wake you earlier.”

Knowing that sleep is quite precious, I think it may actually work. “OKAY OKAY..”

Not to contradict myself, I didn’t have the time to go get the recent “toy” I bought her. I got her a cardboard clockface from MPH for RM6.90 (if I recall correctly) with movable hands and hour and minutes on the face. I have been trying to teach her how to read the clock.

I had wanted to show her what I meant about waking earlier. But “I will have to wake you even before the sky turns bright” was enough to drive the message home.

Let’s hope she sticks to it.

School kids nationwide are on holidays from this weekend on.

Caitlin has some holiday homework to do for the week off school, from (as far as I can see- gotta check her bag/books) 3 subjects of English, Malay and Chinese. Each of them have a date on the homework pages for respective dates of the week- yes, the teachers are pacing the kids so that they have homework each of the holidays.

Hot Mummee and I are of the opinion that Caitlin, whilst it’s a lazy-ish Saturday afternoon, that she can do as much of them as she can, even to have them all completed. Caitlin on the other hand, quite vehemently objects, saying that she should follow the pace that the teachers have set, to listen to what the teachers have told the class.

HM herself thinks that Caitlin is just being lazy, whereas I was seated beside her surfing whilst she was quite happily completing the homework that was set for the first few days- so I know she isn’t lazy per se.

What would you do? I kinda respect Caitlin’s respect for what the teachers have said, despite also somewhat agreeing with HM’s rationale to complete her homework early in the holidays.

Being the youngest I grew up with books and some comics already in the house (as well as contemporary music like The Carpenters, some Beatles, Glen Campbell, John Denver… Oh my I’m scaring myself while I list this)

One of the comics that sticks in my head is Peanuts: Charlie Brown & Snoopy, Linus & his security blanket, characters whose heads are way too big for their bodies.

I guess it’s not just the Peanuts specifically- I think in all comics & cartoons that, whenever a character is concentrating on a task, be it while writing, drawing, cutting, etc, that the character is drawn with his/her tongue out, as if in the midst of licking the upper lip. It seems like a universally accepted comic-body-language.

I have always wondered about this, even consciously stuck my tongue out hoping that my homework, drawing, whatever, would turn out nicer or better than usual. It didn’t work.

Then, I saw this only last night.

If you stick your tongue out, your work isn’t necessarily going to be good. But if you concentrate on the task at hand, the tongue comes out.

Try it.

Sorry for the quality of these photos. They are actually still frames from a video that I took of Caitlin’s tongue action with my iPhone- I freeze-framed these shots and screen captured them.

No I haven’t played them back to her yet. Hot Mummee just suggested that I do, and highlight this to her before she gets older and where kids are mean!

With a lack of toys and an abundance of imagination, Caitlin has had to improvise and make pretend toys to spend (some of) her days. Yes I am a pathetic parent letting my kid endure this.

Her “skills” in improvising seems to have extended into her homework.

See, they are teaching her “long” vowels, like school, food, or, feel, reel, and using a different coloured pencil for these vowels.

You guessed it. In her homework she had decided to first write the letters of the same pencil, and then literally fill in the blanks with the coloured pencil for the vowels.

I guess it gets the job done, I just hope that she will still end up learning the actual word and not finding more efficient ways to complete her writing!

No, I didn’t tell Hot Mummee about this… She may well get Caitlin to redo the whole thing!

I am in kinda stressed frame of mind at the moment

I have mentioned before about Caitlin’s creative streak. When we are at home just chilling and the kids are watching the idiot box, Caitlin would actually “multitask” and do some handicraft, using the scrap A4 papers that HM and I bring home from the office.

She’d make her own pretend mobile phone, camera, toll card, baton (I think she means the wand that an orchestra conductor uses), just last weekend it was a walkie-talkie. She’d get me to play along sometimes using the corresponding walkie-talkie, be the toll plaza / booth, or she’d just draw something; lately it’s the not-so-surprising-for-her-age family “portrait” complete with Daddee having blue hair and as stick-figure skinny as he’d wished he was.

She has an interest in this art stuff, just like Daddee… okay she does acknowledge the joke about Daddee’s hair being blue, so it’s not really a talent gone awry.

Anytime that Playhouse Disney channel shows a 5-minute filler of anything remotely handicrafty or sketchy, she’d head straight for the pile of A4’s and try and repeat what she saw.

So, how do I cultivate this talent, or at least, this interest in her? Our working hours are such that we really only get to see and spend time with her from dinner onwards, and before long it’d be her bedtime already.Otherwise it’s reading with her, either her story picture books or her school books for revision. On weekends, we try and treat the kids by simply visiting my folks, the mall, the pool if Caitlin isn’t still having the sniffles / cough.

Art classes at the shops in the malls and the works that the kids bring home do look impressive, but it’s all assisted and guided in that (I believe) the kids are told what to do. Caitlin does these things all from her own imaginative play. And I don’t want to stifle this flow of imagination and crafts.

But, as Moomykin had suggested in the last blog post, maybe it’s time (dare I say or suggest to the OCD-ed HM??) for Caitlin to start with water colour next??

Here she is making gameboard pieces. She had already cut them up (yes, with grown-up scissors; been at it since last year I think) and here she is decorating them.

You can just hear the moans from all the kids around Malaysia this Monday morning, Caitlin’s included.

I had taken June 8, 9, and 10 off to do something with her, those days (already) being the 2nd week of her 2-week school break. Due to some urgency of needing to quickly setup some stock trading accounts, Hot Mummee and I, instead, were in Singapore on Monday and Tuesday. Thinking I could then make it up to Caitlin on Wednesday, she developed a fever. Luckily by Thursday it had subsided, and Friday she was fine.

So on Saturday, we all went up to the Genting Highlands again, seeing as it was gonna only be a daytrip to anywhere at all. We did initially think about going away a few days… but logistics with a 1-year old and other factors kinda dampened that spirit!

Naturally, this was already the second time we took Caitlin there (her 3rd visit, actually. First one was when Yee-Yee was in town when she was probably 2+). She was already gearing to ride that “up-down”up-down” ride again. But either this Daddee was getting a bit old and slow or that this Daddee through the years have become wiser (at least about the weather!) that I decided we should try out the indoor theme park instead.

Her first reactions from only 2 rides “Why is this so slow??” Daddee is kinda glad that Caitlin has his genes. HM’s not into rides and would very likely not join us when the kids are in their teens to venture on rollercoasters- we no doubt we would be “graduating” to bigger and better rides as the kids grow!

Anyway, it did rain outside, so it was just as well we were indoors. Really, the only 2 rides that I could tell she liked were one that Caitlin only just qualified for (otherwise she would be too tall!)- one that is basically a train of cars that looped around a very minor coaster-like track; and the monorail, which looped outside/outdoors; allowing us to confirm that it did indeed rain.

This visit however, we did also bring Caleb along. But he had only just hung with HM and Grandma and Grandpa; only Caitlin and I went to the theme park. HM’s justification would be that it would be too expensive for so many people to go; but it really because she wants to enjoy the buffet at the cafe Besides, someone had to watch over Caleb anyway, who incidentally was apparently sleeping the whole time the adults were munching away at the food!

Thinking this was still something of a waste of school holidays, Sunday afternoon, even if it was really just a simple dinner and the stroll to get some Burger King (!) takeaway for HM, I still brought Caitlin out to The Gardens, as a small treat. We shared a meatball spaghetti thingy from Italiannies Since she again didn’t nap in the afternoon, I was quite happy that she knocked off between 9:30 to 10pm last night, all ready for school

So then, back to topic.

Therefore, this morning as you can imagine, it was all moans and groans. Having been one myself oh-s0-many decades ago, I sympathised with her and sat with her for a while, watching her stretch, rub her eyes, complain.

I don’t wanna go to schooooooooooool….

I don’t wanna go to schooooooooooool…..

This was going on all the way to just before the front of her school. Being slightly behind schedule due to traffic (after all everyone’s going back to school too), I opted to drop her off at school first instead of Caleb at Grandma’s first.

Opened the door for her, helped her with her backpack, knelt down to her level. got my usual kiss, gave her mine, and soon she was trotting off to school again, pony-tail swinging side to side. The usual sight.

I hope her spirit is indeed revived, as I promised her it will when she sees her schoolfriends again this morning.

Caitlin’s classmate Chloe had her birthday party at Centrepoint’s McDonald’s over the weekend.

I had organized Caitlin’s 4 year old birthday party before, and one of my criteria was that all the kids should enjoy the party or event. I did consider McD’s then, but didn’t think it was going to be all that fun, as I thought it was just all sit-down and eat, with party packs and hats to take-away, and maybe the chance for them to go crazy at the indoor playground.

I was wrong.

The party invitation, a McD stationary no less, stated that Chloe’s party is from 12-1:30. We only arrived around 12:10, cos since it was a Sunday lunch time all the good shaded parking spots were taken. Darn it I had to park in the sun, illegally no less. Went in, saw the sign that said “Chloe’s party” pointing upstairs. Went upstairs and some of the kids were already at their designated-just-for-kiddies long table munching away at their fries. An older kid came to greet us, and asked what Caitlin’s name was. “Hey, that’s my name too!” quipped the probably-10-years-old girl, and proceeded to write the name on Caitlin’s McD cap.

Caitlin then was led to the table to an empty seat. Rather apprehensive at first, as she is when attending any event, she soon got comfortable with her friends and found her fries and the McD toy in her mealbox, with her hat on – which is still at home today

Okay, so now what do I do? The playground doesn’t look like it will hold my weight….. I thought.

There were other parents there. I noticed some of them were talking to a McD staff. Others seemed to already know one another. Relatives, is what I thought. Do parents of school kids get involved with each other??

I didn’t know anyone, so I sat myself down to watch the kids for a while. Wait a sec, what about me- the kids are eating, and I am starting to get hungr..

“What would you like to eat sir?” said the same McD staff from before.

Isn’t this a fast-food self-order restaurant? “Err….” I was just thinking about going downstai…

“Would you like to try the Spicy Chicken McDeluxe?”

“Okay”. Can’t say I have heard of that menu-item before; Qtr Pounder and McChicken- yeah. This one must be new…?

Soon the staff came back with a tray full of the red boxes, closely followed by another with a tray full of fries and drinks. I warfed mine down, and so did the other parents; partly cos I was getting hungry, but mainly cos this is some tasty chicken burger with some spicy zing to it! It wasn’t bad, just like the McChicken that I always get, but with that extra kick, and it also seemed crunchier. I never liked adding sauce to most things I eat (not even on fries) so the spiciness of this burger is just what I liked, without the sugar of sauces.

“Cabbage-between-the-teeth for seconds anyone?”

I soon realised that Chloe’s mum was taking care of even the adults’ meals as well, so after I kinda picked my teeth to make myself presentable (cabbage-between-the-teeth for seconds anyone?) I went over to thank her for it. Made some small talk. By this time the kids were being rounded up for some games and activities already.

I realized then that my impressions of a McD’s birthday party was all wrong. The kids didn’t just sit around wearing their hats, munching on fries and going home with party packs (which btw contained a colouring book, colour pencils, and stickers of “My name is…”). There were 2 staff there actually getting the kids to play pass the ball, musical chairs and even the quintessential happy birthday song, complete with a big chair fit for the princess for the day!

In all this time, I was trying to capture as much as I can photos of my darling girl, who is growing up so quickly … and then, not suddenly but slowly …. something still didn’t feel right in my stomach.

Hmmm…

I looked around the upstairs a little bit. Should I leave Caitlin “unattended” while I step away for a while? Will she freak out if she can’t find me? Or will she even notice that I wasn’t around?

I took the chance. Headed straight downstairs hoping that it was gonna be a quick one, and found that there was a queue! Yikes, I gotta wait!

Tick tock tick tock….

Soon, it was my turn, and I conducted the “transaction” as fast as I could, and quickly went back upstairs, happy with myself with what I needed to do, and also that Caitlin didn’t even notice I was gone, being so engrossed with the games that the staff were putting on.

Sat myself down again, and enjoyed ANOTHER SPICY CHICKEN McDELUXE McVALUE MEAL!

Heh heh! Now I was happy.

We left only at 2pm, even though most of the kids were still loitering. The real reason we had to leave was because, as stated in the invitation, the party was only supposed to be until 1:30pm, because at 2pm another one was starting!

Thank goodness I still managed to get the the second McValue meal- it’s actually catered for the lunch period, 12-3pm; but luckily it’s on everyday! Guess where I’d be having a value-lunch mostly these days, now that they also have a new menu-item (at least for me) that’s to my taste? RM5.95 only, no less?

I did, twice in a day!

Only a few days after that last post on how Caleb is starting to sleep through the night, he started (again) to not be so.

Why does he wake? Just because.

Just because I made a little noise.
Just because Caitlin needs to go pee.
Just because I shifted in my bed.
Just because he shifted in his bed.
Just because.

And he wails. Lucky for me HM is the one who wakes to sooth him back to sleep, with some effort too mind you.

So in that time, I am woken, Caitlin is woken. (HM’s work hours are a little flexible in that she doesn’t have to be in the office very early).

And we both suffer from lack of sleep the next day. I can cope with this with drug laced beverages, but feedback from Teacher Rachel is that Caitlin either dozes off in class, or is moody and thus teary I-wanna-go-home.

Thus, we (mainly I) have to decide for both of us what to trade-off in order to bring forward bedtime.

Sigh…..

Friday morning we were getting ready for work and school respectively. Fridays are when Caitlin’s school has a wading session in their small pool. Since she’s always loved the pool it was always a welcomed day; that as well as an early-age adoption of the adult TGIF concept (she doesn’t seem to like school as much this year).

She’s still got some audible phlegm in her throat, though she isn’t coughing anymore, it’s still there. Apparently she had also promised Teacher Rachel a show-and-tell of her collection of fridge magnets from home. She told me of this on Thursday night when I was tucking her in.

That morning I made the mistake of reminding her that it’s swimming day. All psyched up, she had been carrying her plastic bag of swim gear all morning wherever she was whilst getting ready. HM reminded me of her still-present phlegm, that we should wait for another week before she is allowed back in the pool (the last time I forgot, her cough came back in full force after a swim with Daddee; and we know how easily she pukes when she gets into a coughing fit).

I told her “no, can’t go swimming; wait for another week”. She wouldn’t have it. Repeated Elmer Fudd vs Bugs Bunny of yes no yes no only aggravated the respective individual emotions of our positions. Of course being the Daddee I managed to almost wrestle the bag off her. Okay I did it as gently as I could.

We were already in the car, basement of our building. Every morning we’d be lugging not just our respective bags; there is also Caleb’s gear for the day, some washing to be done, and Caleb himself aided by our helper. Settled in, buckling our seatbelts, feeling pretty shitty about the whole ordeal already, and she says, between the teary jerks of breaths, “DADDEE WE FORGOT THE MAGNETS!!”

There were really 3 options to handle this: (1) Go upstairs alone. That would be the quickest. But that also means leaving them alone in the car in the basement- toddler, 14 month old, a foreigner; (2) All go up together. Safest option. But taking the longest, making us late for school and work. (3) Fuggedaboutit.

I declared option (3). Caitlin goes into a wailing fit. Feet kicking, top of voice crying protesting she wants to go back upstairs to get the magnets, why wasn’t I listening to her.

I respect that she wants to honour her promise to Teacher Rachel. She was even looking forward to this- I could tell. But either (1) or (2) would mean we’d both be late. I even twisted the argument back at her; not a very nice thing to practise on a toddler I admit; that she didn’t listen to me either that morning when we said no to swimming, that she didn’t listen to us.

I felt bad about her not able to indulge in a simple swimming activity. It didn’t rain that day and the swim session did go ahead. She would, like before, have to remain in class hearing all the cheers and splashes downstairs.

But I felt worse that I couldn’t let her carry out her simple request of going back upstairs to get the magnets. This wasn’t something bad at all. For the longest time I had been instilling in her to honour her word/promise, and this was one example- that she wanted to show the magnets as promised. I was consoling / coaching her to say to Teacher Rachel that she is sorry she forgot to bring the magnets, but that she would be late if she/we turned around to go get them, that she didn’t want to be late, and that she would bring them on Monday instead.

In some ways I was also just lazy.

But what would you have done?

Caitlin knows her Mandarin counting from 1 – 10, audibly. As in, she can cite it. But give her a break, thus far it’s only in ascending order

She also knows her roman numbers already (or do I mean gregorian?? You know- the numbers on your keyboard); proved herself repeatedly in the lift and (since then) any other places now.

Come time to teach her the Chinese calligraphy of 1 – 10, we stumble.

She can point from 1 – 10 and cite them. Jump in randomly pointing at any calligraphy-number with “What’s this?” and she stumbles.

If they are written in ascending order, and if she knows that they are, she can sometimes get by.

How? She cheats.

It’s quite funny watching a 4 year old citing something in their head, and visually counting without fingers, matching the citing and jump/skipping eye-counting!

At least she thought of that herself!

I started this post earlier, then other things got in the way, such as bring-home-work and kids-needing-Daddee stuff, and Daddee needing sleep stuff so that Daddee can bring more bring-home-work for Hot Mummee to complain about!

So how was your weekend?

Mine was fairly interesting.

Saturday morning was when Caitlin’s school scheduled the year’s first parent teacher meeting; the weekend before the week-long school holiday. After that there was a lunch appointment organised by my dad for my 3 nieces; which my eldest brother didn’t attend. Then, it was all the way to the KL International Airport to send off these kids- I shouldn’t call them that anymore; but which the same brother couldn’t “avoid”, nor be devoid of emotion either (the reason why he skipped lunch).

If you had been “following” since this year, you’d know the story behind why Caitlin jumped Pre-2 and went straight from Pre-1 to Pre-3 pre-school, and to a whole new language medium for her too. At that time we knew that the first parent-teacher meeting would also be time for evaluating this decision and Caitlin’s progress.

Throughout the last couple of months you’d also know that Caitlin had some problem with school. That seemed to be a cause-effect of unfamiliar with a particular teacher’s methods thus lagging behind in her schoolwork, leading to a general but persistent “I don’t wanna go to school” worry for us- this is her second year in school and the whole of last year there were absolutely no problems, right from day 1.

So Hot Mummee and I went to the meeting; being somewhat familiar with the whole event already after last year. Last year it was generally discussions surrounding her motor skills of writing and colouring, not knowing her ABC’s well enough, and generally a stickybeek in class! ie nothing major. This time though, after having seen Caitlin teary about going to school given her almost perfect record last year, we were somewhat weary that perhaps the teachers would have more-than-negative things about the last only 2+ months.

Caitlin has been able to keep up with the older kids and syllabus

We met with the 2 teachers, as usual- last year too we met with the class teacher, and the additional Mandarin-class teacher. This time, since she is actually in a Mandarin medium class, there was no extra class. The teachers were/are the class teacher (who teaches everything in Mandarin) and the Bahasa Malaysia & English teacher.

They both shared the same sentiment, with the latter having only that to share and that Caitlin’s writing needs more practice in that her letters are not uniform in sizes.

I don’t fault her for that, after all she’s only been doing her last-year’s homework in box-lined paper, not horizontal-lined (notes) paper. This is the first time she’s had to write between the lines.

The class teacher, Teacher Rachel however, being the one with the most contact hours with the children and thus closer, had more to share.

She assured us that Caitlin’s slow start to the year has passed now- that she is coping just as well as the others who are up to 2 years older (remember this being Pre-3 when Caitlin ought to be in Pre-2, and that she is a November child).

Caitlin is also the stickybeek that she was, and she is well received by her new-this-year peers, and Caitlin is therefore comfortable, now.

I have to hand it to teachers like Teacher Rachel. These are the rare teachers who genuinely care for their students. In our meeting she was advising how we ought to spend more time with our kids; that Caitlin only mentions me and little of HM. She knows that these are days of double-income households but we should prioritise our time for our kids. She cited Caitlin’s classmate as an example of neglect. The child is somewhat defiant and rude, and not all that close to the parents.

Teacher Rachel also shared how Caitlin’s general development is going. My takeaway from this meeting was largely that Caitlin has adjusted well largely due to Teacher Rachel’s efforts. Caitlin’s peers are aware that she is younger than them. Teacher Rachel has addressed this very well with the class, making them understand that she is in fact younger and sometimes requires a little more attention. Attention in a little less homework, but that HM and I quite quickly suggested otherwise- Caitlin can handle it. Caitlin’s peers have also jointly praised her new jacket (of grey with bright coloured polka dots) with Teacher Rachel (spurred on by her?) making Caitlin very happy showing up in class these days.

This is confirmed when I ask Caitlin if her friends are nice, in trying to ascertain her reasons for “I don’t wanna go to school”. It’s never been about her friends.

The highlight for me was when Teacher Rachel shared her surprise at Caitlin’s maturity just a few days before the meeting:

Caitlin was aware that I had signed the form indicating that we’d be attending this meeting that weekend. At school, she handed the form to Teacher Rachel.

Later, she went up to Teacher Rachel on the pretense of showing her her new pencil case.

“Nice or not?”

“Nice…”

Inches towards Teacher Rachel, elbow to elbow now.

“What are you going to tell my Mummee ah?”

So anyway, that’s why I was kinda rushing the bring-home-work in order to still catch some school-holidays with Caitlin before the week is out…

Oh I will have to come back about the other events of the weekend another time!

Hot Mummee and I had a chat with Caitlin on Thursday night, after I had updated HM (her majesty!) on what’s been going on with Caitlin’s schooling this week year.

Since Saturday was a schoolday (replacements for Chinese New Year long break) we decided to go chat with Teacher Rachel again.

Turns out that Teacher Rachel has already had a word(s) with Teacher Ann; twice in a week in fact.

In a nutshell, Rachel now is having a slight issue broaching this with Ann, because Ann tends to be the sensitive type. Having been told twice in a week already, Rachel thinks it’s best not to highlight her teaching style again so soon….

In the meantime, Caitlin has again seem assured now that both her parents have gone into her school to try and solve her problem. Also, HM has also convinced Caitlin that she should remain in the classroom when Teacher Ann enters for her lessons, and not be tailing Teacher Rachel so much. She has agreed to “comply”, but like all 4 year olds she may succumb to her “fears” again when the time comes.

So this morning on the way in the car, not surprisingly Caitlin starts whining about going to school again. But this time she was complaining about the length of the schoolday itself. I managed to convince her that it is for her own good, because she can use this time (and she does) to complete all her homework, and be free of them when she returns to Grandma’s.

She accepted that, and off to school she went. At least there were no more tears from my “brave girl”.

I shall see how her day in school went today.

I didn’t think it would escalate to this point.

I thought I had addressed it with her properly; case closed.

But alas.

Yesterday was the first day back in school after the Chinese New Year week-long break. When Grandpa went to pick her up, apparently he was told by Teacher Rachel something about Caitlin crying earlier.

This morning about halfway during the journey to school, Caitlin started protesting that she didn’t want to go to school. Ever. After realising that the protests was not going anywhere, she “suggested” that she didn’t want to go to school “only today”.

We arrive at the school, and she is starting to get teary eyed. Okay; I am a sook. She is the apple of my eye. I admit for a brief moment the thought of giving in flashed through my mind.

We sat in the car for a few minutes. Me twisting in the front seat straining my bloated mid-section from all the CNY feasts, to rationalise with her in the backseat.

She said something about disliking the teachers walking in and out. Gotta admit I didn’t quite get what she was saying.

She only relented when I promised I’d have a word with Teacher Rachel upstairs.

Up we went, and since we were a little late, Teacher was already starting her lessson. The other kids were already seated. I gestured Caitlin to enter, and motioned for Teacher to come over for a quick chat. Caitlin was of course still very hesitant.

I said in Mandarin that Caitlin had started to “fear” coming to school. Teacher shared that, perhaps from yesterday or the days before the week off, that Caitlin finds comfort in having her (Teacher Rachel) around when Teacher Ann comes in, and when she is teaching. Yes, Teacher Rachel was sitting at the back of the class. She even shared that Caitlin had come/run over to hug her when Teacher Ann came around / came in. She also did say that there were times when she had to go out of the classroom sometimes / visit the admin office etc. I think Caitlin starts getting edgy as soon as she steps out of the classroom.

Teacher Rachel reassured that she’d be present in the classes, for Caitlin’s sake.

I wanted to then leave. Caitlin starts crying, not wanting to let me leave. It was quite hard detaching her off me without really creating a scene; which would only make matters / emotionally worse for her.

It was quite heart wrenching- I know now what parents really feel on first days of school. This, coming from Caitlin who has been going to school all last year without an incident.

Two things I learned.

• Caitlin doesn’t really communicate well at times.
• She doesn’t handle stress very well.

More to come.

Update Thursday 5 Feb

That was yesterday. Caitlin was again distressed this morning.

The “incident” wasn’t as long though, mainly because, well, I didn’t hang around.

We reached the door and Teacher Rachel came out, seemingly already had something in mind to tell me. What she managed to tell me was that Caitlin is (also?) unhappy with the amount of homework she is given; something about Caitlin saying “.. but I have already done this homework- why am I doing / writing this again…?”

Managed, because Caitlin started crying and wanting to hug me again at the door. Teacher Rachel then started ushering her into the class, and I wanted to get out of Caitlin’s sight. Waited for 20 seconds or so, decidedly not to wait anymore if Teacher Rachel was gonna come back out to complete her “analysis” of Caitlin’s frame of mind.

Last night I did ask Caitlin how her school day went, seeing as that was the same morning as the first incident / post. She did offer that school day was okay, no incidents.

She also offered something about “I was paying attention” (and thus I wasn’t scolded, or reprimanded, which seems to be the crux of her issue).

Apparently that may have been the issue- that she wasn’t paying (enough?) attention in class, getting told off for it. I am only guessing this.

That, and perhaps that she (therefore?) did not know how to answer something / do her homework, that she was “scolded” for it.

Maybe in future I will just walk her to the stairs, and refuse her request to walk her to the classroom door… What do you think?

Update 2 – after school today

Teacher Rachel called me out of courtesy. Very nice of her.

I guess she had wanted to finish what she started telling me this morning; possible adding new insights into the situation…

• Indeed, Caitlin (also) thinks that she has too much homework; you will recall that our arrangement for Caitlin this year is that she will be getting extra attention;
• That Teacher Ann does speak / scold loudly, and even though it may not be directed at Caitlin, she seems to take it “personally”;
• That Daddee matters a lot in her life

“Our strategy” now is to re-gain or re-instill Caitlin’s confidence and interest in school, using that last point: Daddee has to show (greater) interest in her schoolwork, justifying the amount that she (complains) has to do, to kinda give praise (positive reinforcement) to her work done.

We will start this tomorrow morning.

It’s going to be interesting this Saturday, given she has replacement school-days because of the week-long Chinese New Year break. Interesting because I will be dropping her off in my non-work clothes, and she is going to complain she still has to go to school!

From all my previous boasts about how Caitlin never looked back since starting school, I was suddenly defeated when I heard her utter these words this week. This being only the 3rd week of school this year.

This is her second year of schooling. The whole of last year was pretty much trouble free, sans the to-be-expected comments raised during parent-teacher meetings about how noisy or chatty Caitlin can be in class! Except for a few incidents, she had generally enjoyed school, the teachers and friends.

I think she first said this to me on Wednesday night, but not really “a real issue” type of urgency. It was the first I had heard of it, but thought I had managed to convince her to go anyway, thinking perhaps it was just grumpiness due to lack of sleep in the mornings.

She did offer something in this conversation. She said something about not liking Teacher Ann and Teacher Rachel coming in and out of the classroom. Teacher Rachel is the home teacher. They’d be swapping / changing over teachers between subjects, but Teacher Ann would be teaching English (and I think Bahasa) whilst Teacher Rachel would cover everything else.

Then she said it again on Thursday night, sounding a little more urgent. This conversation was a little challenging, she was just refusing to agree to go. Offers of seeing friends at school, new things to learn, etc, didn’t seem to go down at all.

Friday morning came and it got more urgent. She was pleading not wanting to go. I think it was when I was beside her blow-drying my hair (don’t laugh- drying after a shower, not styling, okay?) while she was getting her hair pleated by our domestic helper that she said something about Teacher Ann scolded her, being fierce, don’t know how to do the English, lizard and library.

Piecing it together, she started not liking school because of Teacher Ann. Apparently Teacher Ann’s style is that of loud and fierce, which I guess Caitlin isn’t used to.

Friday morning in car I said to Caitlin that I’d speak to Teacher Rachel. I tried being careful not letting Caitlin get the impression that I was going to change anything- kids should get used to “fierce” teachers, especially with our plans for her to attend Chinese school (notorious for such teachers), and also that the should be put into stressful environs to learn how to deal with it.

Stopped the car, helped her exit the car, and went to see Teacher Rachel, who is on duty to greet the kids at the road. Caitlin hung around, making sure I did talk to Teacher Rachel.

In Mandarin we chatted. I asked if there was anything in class that may contribute towards Caitlin’s hesitation to attend school- a bully perhaps, a fierce teacher. Initially she shared that she too felt a similar sentiment from earlier in the week; there was a few times at the teacher-change over that Caitlin went to her and asked to go home. I asked what Teacher Ann’s style was, again being careful not to criticise; which I wasn’t- I just needed to ascertain the cause of her hesitation. Teacher Rachel then thought and offered a “you know you could be right” answer. I reiterated that I wasn’t asking teachers to change their styles; I just wanted to know if that was the only factor.

The lesson for me? That what I read about kids generally avoiding something has all to do with some bad (ongoing) experience from it. The challenge is trying to “pry” it out of them, to get to the source of it.