Tag Archives: growing up

It has begun.

Posted on 4 February, 2010 | Leave a comment

Dr Pixie warned before that children reaching 2 will start to push the envelope with you.

Caleb turned 2 this January. But this post isn’t about him.

Last night I smacked Caitlin- the grab-her-arm-so-she-can’t-run-away smack; the night before Hot Mummee smacked her too.

I have had long car-ride talks with her about being the big sister to Caleb- she snatches from him, does dangerous leaps; how he looks up to her and mimics her not knowing right from wrong yet; and so, telling her that what he does is generally her fault (on this I had clearly highlighted both the good things he mimics as well as the bad things).

But last night she was just plainly defying me.

Hot Mummee says I have always been too lenient: I believe in a couple of warnings first. Last night she was pounding an inverted empty raisin tin like a drum with some of her colour pencils, her brother copying her. After repeated and increasingly stern pleas and warnings to stop “Because it’s noisy and you will break the pencils inside..”, she still went on with it. I took it away. She went to get it back. I took it away again out of reach.

Then she started playing with her plastic childrens-table, turning it upside down and crawling under it pretending to be a tunnel, her brother copying her, when he has already cleaned up in pj’s ready for bed. Pleas turned into warnings, not heeded again.

“I said no!”

” I said yes!”

I flipped: CHASED and grabbed her arm and whipped-smacked the back of her thigh.

She bawled. It stung my fingers for a while, which I am sure was the same on her fleshy thigh. I didn’t regret it. Repeated warnings warranted it.

“Don’t you talk back to me!” and reminded her about the earlier two let-go’s before I flipped.

And here’s the potential tear jerker:
Why are you more happy with di-di (younger brother) than with me??

Fine tight rope act and speech required here.

After insisting that she calmed down, I explained; as had Hot Mummee the night before. “We love you both the same, but you just plainly do not listen!“, “.. he listens to us..”, “..but he copies what you do, especially the bad things..”, “.. at 2 he is already very polite..” etc.

Sigh.

She is a smart kid. Quite bright, observant (that’s obvious from above), and at present somewhat requiring lots of guidance. We work fulltime, Grandma can only do so much. She is still okay with her studies, but it is this kinda in-discipline that is preventing her to start being able to read, at 5-turning-6 age.

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Posted in A father's POV, A toddler's POV, Caitlin the heiress, Caleb the heir, Dr Pixie says, Education, Parenting rules, siblings

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When he poops.

Posted on 20 January, 2010 | 3 Comments

This title certainly got you clicking :)

Everyone has their styles. Some hold their groins scurrying and yelling “I gotta go I GOTTA GO” while others do so subtly, yet while others (still) don’t tell you AT ALL that they have done it.

As far as a number 1 goes, Caleb won’t tell you. At all. Until you carry him and feel the wet diaper on your forearm, or when you discover the puddle of pee on the floor, while he is still running around being his 2year old self discovering and/or copying what his older sister does.

For his number 2′s however, is something I haven’t seen “done” before.

I understand everyone needs their privacy, whether it’s cos the poop is gonna stink, or that it’s simply because it’s the action of pooping. But for a 2 year old, what’s “privacy”? So it is with a lot of laughter of adorableness when we hear about, and then get to see, how my boy does it.

In private.

When you kinda suddenly discover him missing, you start to wonder whether he’s okay- but more often than not it’s because he has run to some corner of the room/house; preferably behind something, and pushing. It doesn’t matter if the pusher is 2 or 20 years old, I believe all humans push the same way. It becomes a lot more “funny” when it’s on a 2 year old boy. The same slight-squirm, the same red-face. Only standing up, hiding in some corner.

When we discover him “midway” he is somewhat apprehensive, don’t-come-any-closer kinda gesture. Dunno why. Perhaps at (only?) 2 he is starting to feel shame and embarrassment already. This idea is emphasised when I tease him (yes this Daddee teases his kids)- at any “usual” moment I’d look at him and say “Ngg ngg? Ngg ngg??” (the local baby talk for pooping; I think you can imagine how that term came about!) where he’d quite vehemently declare “Mai! MAI!” (which till today we are wondering whether he is trying to speak Hokkien dialect when most of what he hears is Cantonese where “no” is “moi”, not the Hokkien “mai”) as if the act of it is shameful.

Not that we make fun of him, maybe he is starting to develop his own self awareness and image (self respect?)

For now, I will still laugh at him. It’s okay if he develops a complex surrounding pooping. Having a complex surrounding pooping is okay compared to “performance anxiety” surrounding peeing, at the men’s room urinal.

Heh.

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Posted in A father's POV, A toddler's POV, Caleb the heir, Ergonomics, life skills, Parenting musing

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When I grow up..

Posted on 16 January, 2010 | 4 Comments

Caitlin has always been a little taller than average for her age.

One day she came up to me all serious and asked “Daddee, am I tall?”

“Yes darling, you are considered tall for your age. Why?”

“I heard Grandma and Mummee telling their friends and say that I am tall.. and I don’t like when they laugh at me..”

“They are not laughing at you; why would you think that?”

“….”

“It’s ok, maybe even good, that you are tall for your age. You know how you are in Pre-3 class where your friends are at least more than a year older than you?”

Nods.

“Well, even though you may be the youngest there at least you are not the shortest.”

“I guess… but I don’t like it when they laugh at me..”

“They are not laughing at you, they are just saying that you are. Well, now that you are tall, don’t you think that it’s good, that you can reach for things by yourself now? You can almost touch the light switches now when you jump, wash your hands now without a stool, you feet now being able to reach the ground when you cycle?”

“I guess…”

~~~~

Years ago when I was an adolescent I remember a conversation my parents had with Dr Pixie. I can’t recall how the topic was brought up, but it revolved around someone who was still quite short for his/her age, and Dr Pixie said there was something- either a shot or taken orally (hormones?) that can assist this kid in a growth spurt.

“Wouldn’t that just make him grow faster, rather than taller (eventually)?” I asked.

Dr Pixie looked at me, almost looking glad that someone asked that. “Good question” she said readily, “that could very well be the case- yes”- to which my brother gave me a thumbs-up “Can be a doctor!”

Dr Pixie proceeded to offer that ultimately it was still one’s genetics that determined a person’s height.

I am happy that Caitlin is tall for her age- she is not too tall, just that she therefore appears older than her age. Call me discriminating, but I’d prefer her to ultimately be an average height woman. I have seen really tall ladies and I do know they have trouble finding men!

Would I personally be intimidated about dating a taller woman? Possibly. I say this because I suppose I’d never approached and chat up anyone taller than I!

There’s something I just revealed about myself; well we also know that I am not a doctor, as much as I’d like to be :)

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Posted in A father's POV, A toddler's POV, Caitlin the heiress, Ergonomics, Parenting musing

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Caitlin turned 5!

Posted on 3 December, 2009
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She doesn’t find my jokes funny all the time anymore. She doesn’t tell me everything that’s bugging her, or what she is thinking anymore. I saw a bag of her old clothes ready to be given away- that she has … Continue reading →

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“.. Light the corners of my mind…”

Posted on 19 October, 2009

This, and last week, were quite significant for me. My parents are moving to a new gated community along with my two older brothers. What is significant; I guess not just for me, is that our parents have been living … Continue reading →

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Sleeping by herself

Posted on 7 October, 2009 | 2 Comments

It’s not too surprising that Asian parents let their children sleep in the same room as them; with the cot or the small toddler-sized bed in the room. Not surprising cos we all do it :)

Since Caleb’s arrival, and since we are unsure about our medium-term plans, we have not invested in re-arrangements of rooms and sleeping plans; or even continued looking for places to buy – Caleb had simply taken over Caitlin’s bed turned (back) into a cot, and Caitlin started sleeping in our bed with us- between us! We have a super-king-sized bed so it’s actually not that crowded.

Obviously this isn’t the ideal nor near-term solution, so we had to do the hard thing of starting Caitlin to sleep by herself in the other room (harder for me!)- there is another double bed there from my previous life :)

The other main reason is also that our room is air-conditioned. We’ve found that it is that that’s causing Caitlin’s recurring and persistent coughs; and if you’ve been reading here lots, you’d know that when she gets into a coughing fit, puking is usually “followed through”. It’s never a friendly household when there’s puke on our super king sized bed.

And honestly, since she’s started sleeping there, her coughs are few and far between.

So, being so attached to me has its big downside. It’s been just over a month now that Caitlin’s been sleeping there at nights. Most nights she’s been waking in the middle of the night asking for me, on the real pretext of needing to pee. Sometimes she’d also wake from screaming, requiring some Daddee comforts to go back to sleep. When there happen it’s somewhat laborious- we insist she locks her room, and we lock ours too (we have the key to her room). So she’d have to knock and wake us when she does this.

“Good nights” are when she is dead tired from the days’ activities; either we were out doing something physically active, and/or that she’d missed her daytime naps and just knocks off into deep sleep quickly.

Lately, we’ve been coaching her to make her own toilet breaks. A main “obstacle” from before was that she wasn’t tall enough to reach the toilet light switch. This week I’d noted that she is just tall enough now, with the aid of a step-stool. I made a positive hoo-ha about it, and so far she seemed quite proud of that ability.

From a personal Daddee perspective, this is a bittersweet milestone. Hot Mummee is keen for them to quickly be independent, whilst I am one to indulge in their natural stages of growth. I don’t/didn’t look forward to Caitlin’s flailing limbs smacking me/us in the middle of my sleep, but I sought comfort from her being next to me, from a parent’s perspective as well as knowing she is okay, safe, and that she feels the same too.

Yes, Caleb is now sleeping in the cot in our room. So far, as far as I can tell, there is no jealousy from his jie-jie. We’ve been advocating that this is a grown(ing) up thing to go through.

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Posted in A father's POV, A toddler's POV, Caitlin the heiress, Ergonomics, life skills

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Discipline on time management

Posted on 29 September, 2009 | 1 Comment

I was just reading this article about disciplining children, and reminded me of what had happened only this morning.

Granted it would always be the parents’ fault if children don’t get sufficient sleep/not going to bed early enough. Of late, I have found that Caitlin would still wake at around the same time in the morning, even if it wasn’t a school day (much like last week’s week-long break), even if she did not retire on time. She still gets her afternoon naps, so I am a little relieved that she would still be getting some growing-time (research says that baby lambs can actually grow cm’s while sleeping; let alone the rest the brain requires).

Still, no excuses though.

Of late on schooldays, I have also started waking her a little later than earlier this year- I have started waking her almost 30min later now. Decided on this because, other than both of us getting a little more sleep, I had also found that she used to be waiting to leave, all dressed and ready and catching a bit more of Playhouse Disney in the meantime.

Waking her this morning wasn’t as difficult as Monday morning this week (cos we were all at a relative’s wedding dinner and all retired very much later than usual). Still, being her usual self she was moping around and taking too long doing everything (getting her morning dose of milk, teeth-brushing, washing up).

Instead of grunting at her, I tried this: “You know, if you wanna do things so slowly, then Daddee will have to wake you earlier so that you won’t be late for school… Either you do things quickly and not be day dreaming and wake up a bit later/get to sleep some more, or I wake you earlier.”

Knowing that sleep is quite precious, I think it may actually work. “OKAY OKAY..”

Not to contradict myself, I didn’t have the time to go get the recent “toy” I bought her. I got her a cardboard clockface from MPH for RM6.90 (if I recall correctly) with movable hands and hour and minutes on the face. I have been trying to teach her how to read the clock.

I had wanted to show her what I meant about waking earlier. But “I will have to wake you even before the sky turns bright” was enough to drive the message home.

Let’s hope she sticks to it.

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Posted in A father's POV, Caitlin the heiress, Ergonomics, life skills, Parenting musing, Parenting rules

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