To document their growth…

To make an album, or two, or three…

To be able to look back and remember when they were so tiny, so innocent, so adorable…

For they grow so fast…

Games, or apps for that matter, usually get updated by the developers. Either to add in new features, bug fixes, to be more updated; in particular with games, new scenes or characters would be added. With the zoo game that Caitlin plays, I have seen new animals and rangers being added when they are updated.

So now that I am away from home I have removed most of the games that were on the iPhone. For that matter I have also removed some of the security features- there were a few times when Caleb had unintentionally deleted my apps and info; he didn’t know better, of course.

So now when I check for updates of my apps, some of these installed games would indicate that there are updates available.

I don’t update them now.

And I kinda feel guilty, and sad.

Guilty because, even though they are games- I only install educational games or at least non-violent games; they do teach something to the kids. Hand-eye coordination, math games, basic strategies (the zoo management game), or simply interacting with “tools” that will become even bigger parts of their adult lives compared to us now. Guilty because I have taken away this opportunity/”toy” away from them.

And sad. I miss them.

You are inquisitive:
You see things and you tell me you see them. Every single thing.

And then you go Right Daddee? Right?

You are like Mummee- independent, and OCD:
You wanna try things yourself, and you wanna do it your way. That is why if whatever you are attempting is being done wrong, we will never get out of there.

You are also sly:
You still pee in your pants; likely from being too lazy to stop whatever fun activity you are doing at the moment to go pee. And when you are caught, you change the subject hoping that your trouble with the adults will go away. Of course it won’t, and so you run away. Literally.

But above all, all these traits are better than you being the opposite of them!

Happy Birthday buddy!

No, I am talking about an iPhone game that Caitlin has taken to.

It is called Tap Zoo.

So why am I talking about this?

I am quite glad I stumbled upon this game, actually.

A little like SimCity, the game presents an empty plot, which is actually an island, and Caitlin has some “capital” to play with to start building her zoo. Starting with small animals, Caitlin quickly learned that she cannot start spending too quickly (budget) on other animals and infrastructure, and has to wait (patience) for these small animals to earn (income) money when visitors come visit her zoo. As her earnings build (savings) only then can she start buying more expensive things.

I have tried to coach her on spending wisely on “more important” things, like building proper pavements, not needing too many rangers and keepers yet, etc, but I don’t think she gets those yet. Looks like town planning or architecture isn’t going to be something she will grow up to be You can see her poor attempt at building a footpath there! I have also tried to explain to her that selling those items does not get her back the same amount she paid the first time, that she had better planned it all first instead of buying and then selling it back at a loss.

Still, the game “plays by itself” in that it is saved over the cloud, and when she comes back to it later her income actually would have grown. So, recently she has been letting it earn her money, and quoting me her savings

Now that’s passive income! I should harp on this to her and make her think about “investing” in things that generate income without much effort.

Heh.

Boys mature slower than girls. This is quite evident; individual personalities and characters aside.

When Hot Mummee was pregnant the first time, I had quietly wished that our first one would a boy. This isn’t a tightly-held preference, just thought it’d be good to have a big brother to the rest of the brood. Of course when Caitlin was born, I love her just the same.

And as she grew, we’ve been enjoying her growing years and all the usual toddler antics that you know comes with children. A lot of fun and treasured memories there

Now that we have Caleb with us too, and with the 3 year gap, I find myself quite often comparing the kids. Not in bad ways of why-cant’-you-be-like-Caitlin complaints, just the wonders-of-human and how everyone is different types of observations.

Most recent of these are how when Caitlin was Caleb’s age now, she was already very independent. I had modified her cot so that she was already getting in and out of her “bed” by herself- how I enjoyed watching her little cute toddler body climb limb over one another in her mini pyjamas with the bed. She was also toilet trained very early. I remember giving her praises in the mornings when I changed her to find her diapers dry. These days I am still reprimanding Caleb when he pees in his pants. I do sing praises too when he urgently tells me he needs to pee, and, while on the toilet seat he would exclaim “No piak-piak right dad?” (No spanking right dad?)

So with Caitlin- girls, generally growing faster, I find myself noting that even with the 3 year gap that it is beyond that “measure” in terms of the gap between these 2 monkeys: That they are more than 3 years apart in terms of intellect, skills, maturity, etc. Though I correct myself in that Caleb is a lot more advanced even for his own age with his motor skills in the sports department. He’s still a happy-go-lucky kid while his jie-jie has already entered the age of moodiness. She is also starting to enjoy older things, sometimes citing “so booriiing” statements typical of older kids on younger ones.

So then I started wondering what things would be like if indeed we had a boy first, and then a girl. Would the “gap” be smaller than 3 years, in terms of their maturity? Would they actually get along better than present differences, because they are possibly closer in maturity levels?

Chief among the things that Teacher Rachel told me was that Caitlin is among the popular kids in her only-15-student class.

It’s not surprising really. Caitlin makes friends very easily. She approaches humans her height, greets them with her smile/grin, engages them in what they may be up to. She does also almost follow them around, which I have seen kinda freaks the new-stranger kids out. But as with kids her age (at least last year anyway), they talk to each other and go from there (becoming friends). One time we were out and she was already galavanting with these stranger-kids, and when I told her that we had to leave, she shouted “BYE FRIEND!” Obviously didn’t know their names!

Teacher Rachel, whom have had Caitlin in her class since 2009, has kinda watched her grow. She’s also shared with me that Caitlin likes to have friends, likes to be around people, does not like to be alone.

Therefore it is no surprise that Caitlin likes going to school. Her report card from yesterday showed that she had only missed one day in the total of 96 days so far this year.

The downside, however (I won’t say is typical but not surprising to me) is that she cannot be shamed or be put on the spot.

Because she is (or has to be) popular, she finds it very difficult when she is reprimanded when she is at fault- either forgetting her homework, doing the wrong thing, etc. Teacher Rachel also said that Caitlin is (therefore?) somewhat competitive. There is a particular girl that Caitlin is quite friendly with, with whom lately I hear stories about how they are competing. Whatever the friend is doing or has achieved, Caitlin seems to need to be one better.

… Sounds like she has obviously inherited these traits from Hot Mummee! But jokes aside, looks like I have my guiding-work cut out: To guide her on the positive side of being popular and competitive, but coach her on the negative aspects of these, such as negative influence / peer pressure, what “healthy competition” means, etc…..

Caitlin complained she can no longer see herself in the mirror when she brushes her teeth.

I have moved it higher now.

They grow so fast….

Caleb turned 2 this January. But this post isn’t about him.

Last night I smacked Caitlin- the grab-her-arm-so-she-can’t-run-away smack; the night before Hot Mummee smacked her too.

I have had long car-ride talks with her about being the big sister to Caleb- she snatches from him, does dangerous leaps; how he looks up to her and mimics her not knowing right from wrong yet; and so, telling her that what he does is generally her fault (on this I had clearly highlighted both the good things he mimics as well as the bad things).

But last night she was just plainly defying me.

Hot Mummee says I have always been too lenient: I believe in a couple of warnings first. Last night she was pounding an inverted empty raisin tin like a drum with some of her colour pencils, her brother copying her. After repeated and increasingly stern pleas and warnings to stop “Because it’s noisy and you will break the pencils inside..”, she still went on with it. I took it away. She went to get it back. I took it away again out of reach.

Then she started playing with her plastic childrens-table, turning it upside down and crawling under it pretending to be a tunnel, her brother copying her, when he has already cleaned up in pj’s ready for bed. Pleas turned into warnings, not heeded again.

“I said no!”

” I said yes!”

I flipped: CHASED and grabbed her arm and whipped-smacked the back of her thigh.

She bawled. It stung my fingers for a while, which I am sure was the same on her fleshy thigh. I didn’t regret it. Repeated warnings warranted it.

“Don’t you talk back to me!” and reminded her about the earlier two let-go’s before I flipped.

And here’s the potential tear jerker:
Why are you more happy with di-di (younger brother) than with me??

Fine tight rope act and speech required here.

After insisting that she calmed down, I explained; as had Hot Mummee the night before. “We love you both the same, but you just plainly do not listen!“, “.. he listens to us..”, “..but he copies what you do, especially the bad things..”, “.. at 2 he is already very polite..” etc.

Sigh.

She is a smart kid. Quite bright, observant (that’s obvious from above), and at present somewhat requiring lots of guidance. We work fulltime, Grandma can only do so much. She is still okay with her studies, but it is this kinda in-discipline that is preventing her to start being able to read, at 5-turning-6 age.

Everyone has their styles. Some hold their groins scurrying and yelling “I gotta go I GOTTA GO” while others do so subtly, yet while others (still) don’t tell you AT ALL that they have done it.

As far as a number 1 goes, Caleb won’t tell you. At all. Until you carry him and feel the wet diaper on your forearm, or when you discover the puddle of pee on the floor, while he is still running around being his 2year old self discovering and/or copying what his older sister does.

For his number 2′s however, is something I haven’t seen “done” before.

I understand everyone needs their privacy, whether it’s cos the poop is gonna stink, or that it’s simply because it’s the action of pooping. But for a 2 year old, what’s “privacy”? So it is with a lot of laughter of adorableness when we hear about, and then get to see, how my boy does it.

In private.

When you kinda suddenly discover him missing, you start to wonder whether he’s okay- but more often than not it’s because he has run to some corner of the room/house; preferably behind something, and pushing. It doesn’t matter if the pusher is 2 or 20 years old, I believe all humans push the same way. It becomes a lot more “funny” when it’s on a 2 year old boy. The same slight-squirm, the same red-face. Only standing up, hiding in some corner.

When we discover him “midway” he is somewhat apprehensive, don’t-come-any-closer kinda gesture. Dunno why. Perhaps at (only?) 2 he is starting to feel shame and embarrassment already. This idea is emphasised when I tease him (yes this Daddee teases his kids)- at any “usual” moment I’d look at him and say “Ngg ngg? Ngg ngg??” (the local baby talk for pooping; I think you can imagine how that term came about!) where he’d quite vehemently declare “Mai! MAI!” (which till today we are wondering whether he is trying to speak Hokkien dialect when most of what he hears is Cantonese where “no” is “moi”, not the Hokkien “mai”) as if the act of it is shameful.

Not that we make fun of him, maybe he is starting to develop his own self awareness and image (self respect?)

For now, I will still laugh at him. It’s okay if he develops a complex surrounding pooping. Having a complex surrounding pooping is okay compared to “performance anxiety” surrounding peeing, at the men’s room urinal.

Heh.

One day she came up to me all serious and asked “Daddee, am I tall?”

“Yes darling, you are considered tall for your age. Why?”

“I heard Grandma and Mummee telling their friends and say that I am tall.. and I don’t like when they laugh at me..”

“They are not laughing at you; why would you think that?”

“….”

“It’s ok, maybe even good, that you are tall for your age. You know how you are in Pre-3 class where your friends are at least more than a year older than you?”

Nods.

“Well, even though you may be the youngest there at least you are not the shortest.”

“I guess… but I don’t like it when they laugh at me..”

“They are not laughing at you, they are just saying that you are. Well, now that you are tall, don’t you think that it’s good, that you can reach for things by yourself now? You can almost touch the light switches now when you jump, wash your hands now without a stool, you feet now being able to reach the ground when you cycle?”

“I guess…”

~~~~

Years ago when I was an adolescent I remember a conversation my parents had with Dr Pixie. I can’t recall how the topic was brought up, but it revolved around someone who was still quite short for his/her age, and Dr Pixie said there was something- either a shot or taken orally (hormones?) that can assist this kid in a growth spurt.

“Wouldn’t that just make him grow faster, rather than taller (eventually)?” I asked.

Dr Pixie looked at me, almost looking glad that someone asked that. “Good question” she said readily, “that could very well be the case- yes”- to which my brother gave me a thumbs-up “Can be a doctor!”

Dr Pixie proceeded to offer that ultimately it was still one’s genetics that determined a person’s height.

I am happy that Caitlin is tall for her age- she is not too tall, just that she therefore appears older than her age. Call me discriminating, but I’d prefer her to ultimately be an average height woman. I have seen really tall ladies and I do know they have trouble finding men!

Would I personally be intimidated about dating a taller woman? Possibly. I say this because I suppose I’d never approached and chat up anyone taller than I!

There’s something I just revealed about myself; well we also know that I am not a doctor, as much as I’d like to be

She doesn’t tell me everything that’s bugging her, or what she is thinking anymore.

I saw a bag of her old clothes ready to be given away- that she has grown out of. Spotted a pair of shorts that she likes / wears quite often.
She doesn’t find my jokes funny all the time anymore.

She doesn’t always tell me everything that’s bugging her, or what she is thinking anymore.

I saw a bag of her old clothes ready to be given away- that she has grown out of. Spotted a pair of shorts that she likes / wears quite often.

My baby is growing out of the “cute” phase. She is developing more and more into a “regular” person!

We organised a party at the kids gym, like last year; only at a different venue. Should have gone back there, more value for money you know.

We invited Caitlins friends from school; maybe I am generalising here but I still tend to think that locals don’t know what RSVP means. A few replied, but I had to call up a few too to confirm whether they were coming, or not.

As I recall, for the same price, last years was organised in a room, the staff organised games, and there was a lot more food for everyone. This years they only put together the tables and enough seating for the headcount, and served the food- that’s it. Moreover 10min before the end of our booking we were actually “reminded” to vacate make room for the next booking.

It’s just as well that the kids were more keen to get into the gym cos they were bored shitless.

I thought I’d organise it the day right after the last day of school. Not only was it the weekend before Caitlin’s actual birthday, it was also more likely that her friends are still in town, in case the families have year-end holiday plans, presumably they’d not leave town so soon after the last day of school. It would also be the last time these friends see each other before they all start primary school when schools reopen in January… except Caitlin, naturally.

Happy Birthday my dear

My parents are moving to a new gated community along with my two older brothers. What is significant; I guess not just for me, is that our parents have been living in this house since 1984, when it was renovated, and since 1975 on that same plot of land.

Yes, a lot of memories surrounding this house.

• I learned how to cycle there
• I chilled at the kitchen’s breakfast counter watching the A-Team/Airwolf when mum was teaching yoga upstairs
• The same breakfast counter I had cereals before school
• The same house where our beloved Alsation grew up and grew old and died
• All the kids had their wedding ceremonies there
• All the Chinese new years
• Nieces and nephews’ first steps
• I had a birthday party there where my high school crush came
• It was home when I returned for holidays whilst studying in Australia
• It was home.

Anyway

I was there last weekend helping pack my accumulated junk since teenage years. Caitlin came along too; Caleb didn’t because of the impending mess that comes with moving. Naturally she questioned EVERYTHING she saw. She saw the birthday cards from high school girl-friends. She saw some of my obsolete computer hardware. She saw some of my cassettes of 80′s pop music (to avoid embarrassment I wont cite who they were!)

Today I wasn’t there for the “official” move (according to the Chinese lunar calendar today is a good day). But this weekend will likely be the last time i get to set foot in that house when the trucks ferry off the last remaining personal items.

I took this shot of Caitlin helping remove and sort out some really old photos from a 50+ years old album, of my parents’ dating days, and also baby pics of my older siblings!

Since Caleb’s arrival, and since we are unsure about our medium-term plans, we have not invested in re-arrangements of rooms and sleeping plans; or even continued looking for places to buy – Caleb had simply taken over Caitlin’s bed turned (back) into a cot, and Caitlin started sleeping in our bed with us- between us! We have a super-king-sized bed so it’s actually not that crowded.

Obviously this isn’t the ideal nor near-term solution, so we had to do the hard thing of starting Caitlin to sleep by herself in the other room (harder for me!)- there is another double bed there from my previous life

The other main reason is also that our room is air-conditioned. We’ve found that it is that that’s causing Caitlin’s recurring and persistent coughs; and if you’ve been reading here lots, you’d know that when she gets into a coughing fit, puking is usually “followed through”. It’s never a friendly household when there’s puke on our super king sized bed.

And honestly, since she’s started sleeping there, her coughs are few and far between.

So, being so attached to me has its big downside. It’s been just over a month now that Caitlin’s been sleeping there at nights. Most nights she’s been waking in the middle of the night asking for me, on the real pretext of needing to pee. Sometimes she’d also wake from screaming, requiring some Daddee comforts to go back to sleep. When there happen it’s somewhat laborious- we insist she locks her room, and we lock ours too (we have the key to her room). So she’d have to knock and wake us when she does this.

“Good nights” are when she is dead tired from the days’ activities; either we were out doing something physically active, and/or that she’d missed her daytime naps and just knocks off into deep sleep quickly.

Lately, we’ve been coaching her to make her own toilet breaks. A main “obstacle” from before was that she wasn’t tall enough to reach the toilet light switch. This week I’d noted that she is just tall enough now, with the aid of a step-stool. I made a positive hoo-ha about it, and so far she seemed quite proud of that ability.

From a personal Daddee perspective, this is a bittersweet milestone. Hot Mummee is keen for them to quickly be independent, whilst I am one to indulge in their natural stages of growth. I don’t/didn’t look forward to Caitlin’s flailing limbs smacking me/us in the middle of my sleep, but I sought comfort from her being next to me, from a parent’s perspective as well as knowing she is okay, safe, and that she feels the same too.

Yes, Caleb is now sleeping in the cot in our room. So far, as far as I can tell, there is no jealousy from his jie-jie. We’ve been advocating that this is a grown(ing) up thing to go through.

Granted it would always be the parents’ fault if children don’t get sufficient sleep/not going to bed early enough. Of late, I have found that Caitlin would still wake at around the same time in the morning, even if it wasn’t a school day (much like last week’s week-long break), even if she did not retire on time. She still gets her afternoon naps, so I am a little relieved that she would still be getting some growing-time (research says that baby lambs can actually grow cm’s while sleeping; let alone the rest the brain requires).

Still, no excuses though.

Of late on schooldays, I have also started waking her a little later than earlier this year- I have started waking her almost 30min later now. Decided on this because, other than both of us getting a little more sleep, I had also found that she used to be waiting to leave, all dressed and ready and catching a bit more of Playhouse Disney in the meantime.

Waking her this morning wasn’t as difficult as Monday morning this week (cos we were all at a relative’s wedding dinner and all retired very much later than usual). Still, being her usual self she was moping around and taking too long doing everything (getting her morning dose of milk, teeth-brushing, washing up).

Instead of grunting at her, I tried this: “You know, if you wanna do things so slowly, then Daddee will have to wake you earlier so that you won’t be late for school… Either you do things quickly and not be day dreaming and wake up a bit later/get to sleep some more, or I wake you earlier.”

Knowing that sleep is quite precious, I think it may actually work. “OKAY OKAY..”

Not to contradict myself, I didn’t have the time to go get the recent “toy” I bought her. I got her a cardboard clockface from MPH for RM6.90 (if I recall correctly) with movable hands and hour and minutes on the face. I have been trying to teach her how to read the clock.

I had wanted to show her what I meant about waking earlier. But “I will have to wake you even before the sky turns bright” was enough to drive the message home.

Let’s hope she sticks to it.

I wear it to bed, and sometimes don’t change out of it, and even go out getting take away lunch- it gets hot okay! Besides I am only going to get hawker-food lunch, nothing fancy (as long as HM isn’t with me she won’t get embarrassed).

Yesterday that was what I did. Came home and sat beside Caitlin to lunch together

She says to me, “Daddee, don’t wear that again” and gazed at the arm(pit) hole.

“Why not?”

“I can see things..”

The only times Caitlin sees me topless is when we go swimming. And even then she sometimes catches glimpses of the things when I hold her in the water- she doesn’t see me topless and my things often.

And I haven’t exactly been in the best shape these years. Now I have really scarred her for life, with my man-boobs.

It’s hard looking for tank tops now, the cheap Petaling Street type. The ones I managed to find the last time are kinda fitting and thick, defeating the purpose of wearing something light when it’s hot. But I guess I have a young lady in the house now, and I gotta respect her wish.

It still gets hot though… and it’s about time I do something about the man-boobs and tyres.

Nope- no photos with this post. Don’t wanna scar you even this late in your life…