Tag Archives: discipline

First parent teacher meeting of the year

I started this post earlier, then other things got in the way, such as bring-home-work and kids-needing-Daddee stuff, and Daddee needing sleep stuff so that Daddee can bring more bring-home-work for Hot Mummee to complain about!

So how was your weekend?

Mine was fairly interesting.

Saturday morning was when Caitlin’s school scheduled the year’s first parent teacher meeting; the weekend before the week-long school holiday. After that there was a lunch appointment organised by my dad for my 3 nieces; which my eldest brother didn’t attend. Then, it was all the way to the KL International Airport to send off these kids- I shouldn’t call them that anymore; but which the same brother couldn’t “avoid”, nor be devoid of emotion either (the reason why he skipped lunch).

If you had been “following” since this year, you’d know the story behind why Caitlin jumped Pre-2 and went straight from Pre-1 to Pre-3 pre-school, and to a whole new language medium for her too. At that time we knew that the first parent-teacher meeting would also be time for evaluating this decision and Caitlin’s progress.

Throughout the last couple of months you’d also know that Caitlin had some problem with school. That seemed to be a cause-effect of unfamiliar with a particular teacher’s methods thus lagging behind in her schoolwork, leading to a general but persistent “I don’t wanna go to school” worry for us- this is her second year in school and the whole of last year there were absolutely no problems, right from day 1.

So Hot Mummee and I went to the meeting; being somewhat familiar with the whole event already after last year. Last year it was generally discussions surrounding her motor skills of writing and colouring, not knowing her ABC’s well enough, and generally a stickybeek in class! ie nothing major. This time though, after having seen Caitlin teary about going to school given her almost perfect record last year, we were somewhat weary that perhaps the teachers would have more-than-negative things about the last only 2+ months.

Caitlin has been able to keep up with the older kids and syllabus

We met with the 2 teachers, as usual- last year too we met with the class teacher, and the additional Mandarin-class teacher. This time, since she is actually in a Mandarin medium class, there was no extra class. The teachers were/are the class teacher (who teaches everything in Mandarin) and the Bahasa Malaysia & English teacher.

They both shared the same sentiment, with the latter having only that to share and that Caitlin’s writing needs more practice in that her letters are not uniform in sizes.

I don’t fault her for that, after all she’s only been doing her last-year’s homework in box-lined paper, not horizontal-lined (notes) paper. This is the first time she’s had to write between the lines.

The class teacher, Teacher Rachel however, being the one with the most contact hours with the children and thus closer, had more to share.

She assured us that Caitlin’s slow start to the year has passed now- that she is coping just as well as the others who are up to 2 years older (remember this being Pre-3 when Caitlin ought to be in Pre-2, and that she is a November child).

Caitlin is also the stickybeek that she was, and she is well received by her new-this-year peers, and Caitlin is therefore comfortable, now.

I have to hand it to teachers like Teacher Rachel. These are the rare teachers who genuinely care for their students. In our meeting she was advising how we ought to spend more time with our kids; that Caitlin only mentions me and little of HM. She knows that these are days of double-income households but we should prioritise our time for our kids. She cited Caitlin’s classmate as an example of neglect. The child is somewhat defiant and rude, and not all that close to the parents.

Teacher Rachel also shared how Caitlin’s general development is going. My takeaway from this meeting was largely that Caitlin has adjusted well largely due to Teacher Rachel’s efforts. Caitlin’s peers are aware that she is younger than them. Teacher Rachel has addressed this very well with the class, making them understand that she is in fact younger and sometimes requires a little more attention. Attention in a little less homework, but that HM and I quite quickly suggested otherwise- Caitlin can handle it. Caitlin’s peers have also jointly praised her new jacket (of grey with bright coloured polka dots) with Teacher Rachel (spurred on by her?) making Caitlin very happy showing up in class these days.

This is confirmed when I ask Caitlin if her friends are nice, in trying to ascertain her reasons for “I don’t wanna go to school”. It’s never been about her friends.

The highlight for me was when Teacher Rachel shared her surprise at Caitlin’s maturity just a few days before the meeting:

Caitlin was aware that I had signed the form indicating that we’d be attending this meeting that weekend. At school, she handed the form to Teacher Rachel.

Later, she went up to Teacher Rachel on the pretense of showing her her new pencil case.

“Nice or not?”

“Nice…”

Inches towards Teacher Rachel, elbow to elbow now.

“What are you going to tell my Mummee ah?”

:)

So anyway, that’s why I was kinda rushing the bring-home-work in order to still catch some school-holidays with Caitlin before the week is out…

Oh I will have to come back about the other events of the weekend another time!

Absent parents are home..

Hot Mummee and I came home on Sunday morning.

The flight from Melbourne arrived KL at 5am local time; I booked the overnight one to save a day(light) for when we arrived, but didn’t realise till later that it actually arrived that early.

But in any case, we did “gain” a full day despite my suffering a massive headache due to lack of sleep and/or dehydration.

But it’s good to be back. The daughter was very pleased to see us, and had many catch-up stories to share.

But seeing the son was a more significant event. It seems he has picked up some new skills of “standing up” on his knees, arms up like a “Yay” stance, just because! And much to our dismay he’s also a lot more cry-baby when he is not picked up / carried!

Today (Monday) was (also, just like in Australia) a public holiday. We spent a lot of time with the kids, and it was during this time that these antics of his were evident. It’s funny, when it was just Hot Mummee, Caitlin and I around, he’d whimper at first but soon dies down with only a very inquisitive what-the-heck-are-you-adults-doing look on his face. But as soon as our helper turns up, he starts whimpering “needing” her to pick him up.

So it’s no surprise who’s been spoiling my son.

We will need to break him of this habit; managed so with Caitlin that even though she asks to be carried sometimes, at least she accepts quite readily that we cannot anymore; only when we visit my brother’s house that I do still carry her- they have 2 dogs and one of them is a (albeit friendly) doberman!

More “bad” news is that Caleb has also gotten back into the habit of waking up at nights! Since his flu is over, he’s a lot more alert now!

ARGH!

MMMmmmmm…..

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It’s not always that we get to eat like kings. But one doesn’t have to be kings to be able to eat like this in mostly all Australian cafes….. Okay okay, this may not be a big deal for some … Continue reading

Her traits that make me warm and fuzzy..

At school only this week; Monday (blues) in fact.
Grandma and Hot Mummee dropped by to settle some issues with Caitlin’s schooling.

The school had suggested we check out a neighbouring suburb’s franchise which is offering the Pre-2 Chinese medium, that we could transfer Caitlin to that school if we choose to.

After “spying” on that school / class and knowing that they still conversed in English in that class (whereas the present one they speak in Mandarin fully), the two ladies decided to let Caitlin remain.

After informing the principal of the decision, the two ladies were in the vicinity of Caitlin’s ongoing class.

Hot Mummee’s remark to me that night was something like this:
“.. she’s actually quite disciplined…”
“.. she saw us from the class, and only smiled and waved a little wave. She didn’t run out crying “I want Mummee…” or anything like that ..”
“.. she was even behaving when the class was let out to wash their hands; not recess time yet. It was only on Grandma’s insistence that she came over for a hug, and one for Mummee too..”

Reminds me of her first day at school. Walked straight in. Never looked back.

Recent scalding accident
Despite the I-can-only-imagine pain from the accident, she’s actually been quite steady about the whole thing. Sure, she was sobby on the same night, being “banished” from her usual arrangement to sleep in the other room / bed cos of the medication / cream (we did keep her company). But she didn’t really complain.

The next days she was very conscious of the burn site, heeding our advise to watch our for small accidents that may rupture the blister. She had to wear only shorts, folding up the right leg to keep it exposed / uncovered, being very careful when going to the toilet. She walks with a limp, right hand holding up the folded shorts; which we are not sure if it’s put on or that it does sting from the impact of foot / leg connecting with the ground. In any case it was quite amusing / cute / heart wrenching to see this.

Other than these physical quirkiness, she was / is her usual happy-go-lucky self.

Update on the scald site
This morning after she was ready for school, I applied the SSD again. This is the second time she exclaimed it was ticklish rather than painful; I think the first ticklish time was last night but she still say it hurt.

It also felt harder, like soft scabby, under the pad of my finger. Meaning the site is no longer raw. Which to me is good news.

The toddler who lied for the greater good?

When this happened; when it dawned on me the whole rationale and intention behind the lie, I honestly did not know how to react, because I did not know which stand to take.

Last night, as usual, I headed over to Grandma’s after work, for dinner and the trip home with the kids to call it a night. While I was there, Grandma said Caitlin hadn’t pooped yet, again. We were talking about it and her diet during the day and the day before, and how else to ease the problem for her. Caitlin, in her time with her grand parents, has actually picked up some Cantonese being spoken and also from the Chinese serials on tv, that she can actually understand most of what is being discussed between the adults; only that she may not be able to speak it, yet. (We exclusively speak to her in English, though I’ve started practising Mandarin with her from her classes).

Sometime after dinner then, Caitlin, being the monkey that she is (born under the same animal year too) was being cheeky and was rude to Daddee. She wanted to be carried, I refused and she grunted / growled at me pulling her lips back. For the rest of that time / the night, I declared to her that I wasn’t going to speak to her at all and wasn’t going to friend her because I was both sad and angry at her, and also that there was not going to be any tv or Sesame Street podcast watching for the night, as punishment.

It would have been over an hour between that and the time we got home. Almost time for bed and she says to me she needed to poop. Knowing that this was more important, I carried-put her on her toddler-toilet-seat on the dunny, and kinda forgave her and sat by the door keeping her company; chatting and encouraging / supporting her knowing that it was likely going to be painful pushing out her hard stools.

In all, we sat there for over 45minutes, passing her usual bedtime. In that time, she says to me that there was a total of 3 plops; our reference to poop-progress. Knowing that usually the first plop would be the hardest, the rest of the “session” should be smooth sailing, pun intended.

In between there were the somewhat expected sobs of pain, and she used the toilet tissues to wipe her tears, dumping them into the toilet.

Since there was already 3 plops, I was getting impatient in that it was taking too long and she really already needed to be asleep. I asked her to start pushing, despite her refusals.

Then she tells me she is done. I can’t remember the exact conversation but when I already had some drops of soap ready to wash her bits, she tells me that she didn’t poop at all in all that time.

I couldn’t believe my ears. Initially I didn’t realise that she was lying. I made her repeat herself and what she did to confirm. I couldn’t check the toilet ‘cos there was dumped tissue floating on the surface. I specifically asked if any of the 3 plops ever occurred. She shook her head.

After washing her up, I took her out of the toilet and sat down face to face with her. I reminded her of the evening’s events, that she was rude to me, I was angry at her, but that I had forgiven her; and then she downright lied to me within minutes of that.

I smacked her on the ass. Twice. She knows we don’t stand for lying, and she should be reminded of it.

In choosing my words carefully so that there wasn’t going to be a repeat, I got her to recap what had transpired and to explain her actions.

She tells me that she lied because she didn’t actually have any (ready at the time) poop. Somewhere in there, it dawned on me that she had simply wanted to please me.

In all the adult conversations she has learned that we were concerned about her bowel movements. In the time leading to the lie, I was mad at her. This, apparently, was an attention seeking move, to “wag the dog”, to either possibly to get me to friend her again, AND / OR that I would be relieved to know she was free of her alimentary knots.

In a twisted way, she had my interest at heart.

It bugged me the whole night what had happened. I replayed and weighed the whole incident, her’s and my thought process, rationale, approach. Yes it is wrong to lie. But she lied not so much for her own interest because I said I forgave her after we both sat down to chat (her on the dunny and me on the floor just outside)- she said she needed to poop when I was still mad at her and hadn’t forgiven her yet. She knows I could very well leave her there and be on about my usual evening business at home.

It also occured to me that she may have confused her own body signals. It was knocking at the door, but not quite ready to come out yet; and she thought it was. But since it wasn’t ready after all, to please me she said there were 3 plops already, to follow through with the whole act of now-that-Daddee’s-put-me-on-the-toilet-I-had-better.

Something in me made me think I wrongly smacked her; after all she did cry her usual pain-in-the-ass-cos-of-hard-stools cry. A voice was also telling me that this whole thing is warped, twisted, about how she approached and dealt with and followed through with the whole incident, the way she thinks, the way she felt she had to follow though a possible mistake (knock-knock but no one’s there mistake) by covering up with lies.

That she woke up about 30 minutes later with real poop didn’t make my state of mind any easier. I seem to be as confused as she might have been last night…

The reason why they have puppy eyes…

Caitlin likes to watch The Little Einsteins.

In it are 4 character kids who fly (Red) Rocket that seems to have a personality of its own. Together they go on their respective episodic adventures. The whole show is based on music, using snippets of classical music such as from Mozart, Bach, etc. They use big words like allegro, and… drats, they escape me. It’s all got to do with the speed or tempo of the rhythm… Ok I’ll go Google it.

As part of its regular feature, the characters have to speed up their hand-tapping as encouragement for Rocket to fly faster, for whatever the objective was for the mission. Leo, the presumed leader of the band of kids, starts off by tapping his lap going from adagio, then tapping their tummy going faster, then shoulders going moderato, then going all the way to allegro with hands raised and legs kicking.

And Rocket extends this rocket booster thingie out of its fuselage, defying all laws of physics and conservation of mass, and the whole thing propels forward fast and doesn’t break or compromise on its structural integrity.

We were running late tonight; got home from Grandma’s and was running behind our usual night schedule after fuming at Caitlin for dilly-dallying (not) completing her homework. It’s amazing how un-urgent kids can be and find stuff to fiddle, look at and around, scratch, stretch, position their pencils on the workbook and then not do anything…

We got home, semi-rushed to make her milk- want her to be in bed early enough so as to be awake enough for school tomorrow. I was still a little mad at her, and she knows it. Yet, she STILL dilly-dally’s with drinking her milk, sipping at it only.

Then she puts down her cup and stares at the TV.

I go over, trying to look as menacing as possible. “What are you doing?? Why aren’t you (continuing) drinking your milk??”

“I wanna fly super fezz….” with those puppy eyes I know you are still mad at me look.

“Huh? What??”

Just then I hear Leo starts uttering “Come on! Wave your arms to make our ship fly faster!“, and Caitlin raises her arms still looking at me the same.

I couldn’t hide the smile creeping in.

My little girl isn’t perfect anymore

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. You hear feedback that she is rude and stubborn, but while you do kinda know it’s the truth, you don’t think much of it because she thinks of you as the fave human being, and would listen to you … Continue reading