Daddee Yah!

A working Daddee learning to cope in a big big world

This week, actually for the past 3 weeks, Hot Mummee took it upon herself to craft her company’s business plan.

Apparently the company has never had one. In hearing her describe the sections that are to go in, it sounded more like an extended version of a company profile than a business plan; a 12 inch, very extended version, like a greatest hits remixed 5 times with new added sampling and the chorus repeated 13 times and the sonnets rewritten to include previous thrown-out works.

Why am I babbling? Because that’s what this business plan feels like. Hot Mummee has chosen to stay at home these 3 weeks, presumably under the pretext of non-interruption, to fully concentrate on getting this done. In my studies and (only 1 time) experience in writing a business plan, I have never come across the extent at which she is doing this for a business plan. She would be researching and scouring the net, looking for related news and industry and market trends, and would be analysing these and inputting them in her plan. This is in fact how a business plan ought to be written- that they should contain market (development) plans, but the extent she is covering this and other sections are, well; I shall reserve my comments.

Also, she would be drafting the document on her laptop, and using my laptop to access the neighbour’s unsecured wifi; sometimes retyping what she found on my laptop into hers simply because my super-duper computer has a far better wifi hardware/reception than hers- cannot copy-paste. Or she’d be referring to the researched numbers, and graphing them into charts…

Oops, babbling again.

So the downside of this is that this Daddee has had to do most of the overnight Caleb-feeding, because Hot Mummee has been slaving over this document until un-God-ly hours.

Which also means that in my spare time, I have been trying to catch up on my sleep.

And little blogging.

No, I am not complaining….

And I am holding her to her words, when she said to me on some not too long ago squinty-eyed woke me outta my sleep night, “Sorry dear, I will make it up to you when this is all over….”

Heh heh.

In other news (and I guess as a result?) I spotted Caleb sprouting an upper tooth already! But what gets us is this: Both the bottom two teeth are crooked, like they form a “v”, and now the first upper tooth looks like it is also coming out the same way.

Why? With my little knowledge of orthodontics or teeth knowledge, I would think teeth grew crooked because of overcrowding. That these being the first teeth and growing crooked already baffles everyone at home.

Also, the little man is already standing holding himself up on the cot’s railings. It won’t be long now before he is let loose on the walker!

“Caleb, Caleb….

9……… ?”


My foot!

I kid you not. This was what Caleb did a few days ago.

I was at work and Grandma called to tell me of this.

Apparently he was crying quite profusely. You know how at each Waaa… babies would then draw their breath for the next Waaa…? Well, he didn’t. So he turned blue in the lips, then in the face, and went limp.

Grandma had the shock of her life. She quickly stroked him, patted him on the body and face, and then Caleb woke up.

So, upon finding out this I quickly called Dr Pixie to tell her of this.

Is this a physiological condition?
An inherited condition?
A psychological condition?
Are there any dangers to this?

Very calmly, Dr Pixie tells me that this is nothing new. Kids do this to get attention, to get things their way; that there is nothing to worry about.

The only thing she said was out of the ordinary was that Caleb is (already) doing this at such a young age of 9 months; my own niece / her own daughter did this once when she was 2.

She did say these words though: Do not give in to the boy’s demands. This is how kids become spoilt brats – they start getting adults to give into them and the trouble starts.

Most of the explanation and conversation revolved around behavioural attitude rather than anything medical.

You can imagine my astonishment at hearing all this. But then when I was hearing this explanation I was reminded of the saying about kids who “.. held his breath till he turned blue to get his way…” It all kinda clicked at the point.

I knew this boy was likely going to be a difficult child with that behaviour, but now with this incident, or shall I more accurately say, manipulative behaviour, we really have a troublemaker in our hands…..

I looked up the internet to research this. I did find a lot of the same things as what Dr Pixie said, plus more:

  • Not to worry because the body’s natural defenses will kick in, and the child will start breathing naturally again;
  • Lie them down when they “pass out” just to ensure that the blood flow continues into their brain;
  • Once the kid wakes up, pretend nothing happened. They do this to seek attention, and that is exactly what you should not give them. Running to them Are you okay? will only exacerbate the problem, and they will likely learn that this trick works and does it again, probably for more and greater demands. An example of nothing-happened are (to continue) reading your newspaper (but peer over the page), go about the household chores like usual. Another trick was to turn your back on them, use a mirror just to see if they are okay.
  • Here are some links which I visited:

    And at the end is an excerpt from the last link above.

    What a scare! Other than that quote above, none of us had ever heard of anything like this before, what more a 9 month old already starting to try manipulating the situation and people. Grandma still doesn’t believe this and asked to recheck this “condition”.

    In a lot of ways, it kinda shows that this could possibly be a very smart boy.

    I only hope that this genius will only use his power for good and not evil…..! Well at least be on his parents’ side! He already looks at his Daddee in a certain way!

    Breath-Holding Spells
    What is a breath-holding spell?
    A breath-holding spell is when your child holds his breath when he is suddenly injured, frustrated, angry, or frightened. Breath-holding spells begin between the ages of 6 months and 2 years. They occur only while the child is awake.
    During a breath-holding spell:
    • Your child may make 1 or 2 cries and then hold his breath in expiration until he becomes blue around the lips and passes out.
    • Your child may stiffen and may have a few twitches or muscle jerks.
    • Your child will breathe normally again and become fully alert in less than 1 minute.
    What is the cause?
    An abnormal reflex allows 5% of normal children to hold their breath long enough to pass out. Most children do not do this deliberately.
    Holding the breath (when frustrated) and becoming bluish without passing out is such a common reaction in young infants that it is not considered abnormal.
    How long does it last?
    Breath-holding spells usually occur from 1 or 2 times a day to 1 or 2 times a month. Children usually stop having breath-holding spells by the time they are 4 or 5 years old.
    Breath-holding spells are not dangerous, and they don’t lead to epilepsy or brain damage.
    How can I take care of my child?
    • Treatment during attacks of breath-holding
    These attacks are harmless and always stop by themselves. Time the length of a few attacks, using a watch with a second hand.
    During an attack, do not hold your child upright. Instead, he should lie flat. This position will increase blood flow to the brain and may prevent some of the muscle jerking. Put a cold wet washcloth on your child’s forehead until he starts breathing again. Don’t start resuscitation or call a rescue squad–it’s not necessary. Also, don’t put anything in your child’s mouth because it could make him choke or vomit.
    • Treatment after attacks of breath-holding
    Give your child a brief hug and go about your business. A relaxed attitude is best. If you are frightened, don’t let your child know it. If your child had a temper tantrum because he wanted his way, don’t give in to him after the attack.
    • Prevention of injuries
    The main injury risk of a breath-holding spell is a head injury. If your child starts to have an attack while standing near a hard surface, go to him quickly and help lower him to the floor.
    What can I do to help prevent breath-holding spells?
    Most attacks from falling down or a sudden fright can’t be prevented. Neither can most attacks that are triggered by anger. However, some children can be distracted from their breath-holding if you intervene before they become blue. Tell your child to come to you for a hug or to look at something interesting. Ask him if he wants a drink of juice.
    If your child is having attacks every day, he probably has learned to trigger some of the attacks himself. This can happen when parents run to the child and pick him up every time he starts to cry, or when they give him his way as soon as the attack is over. Avoid these responses and your child won’t have an undue number of attacks.
    When should I call my child’s health care provider?
    Call during office hours if:
    • More than one spell occurs each week.
    • The attacks change.
    • You have other concerns or questions.

    Caution: Call a rescue squad (911) if your child has a different kind of attack during which he stops breathing for more than 1 minute or turns white (not blue).

    I have mentioned about his shifty eyes, looking at Daddee funny with an attitude, when he was only 6 months old.

    Now he doesn’t look at me when I tell him off.

    He’d sometimes take forever to finish his bottle of milk. 3/4 through and he’d stop, get off the sofa, wanders around for whatever / whoever. He’d look for HM, his jie-jie, or just because. He’d walk to walls and slap it. He’d come over and put his head on your lap and then rubs his face (nose) on it too, hands free.

    Sometimes he’d stop the milk with “nn-more” accompanied by the “finished” hand gesture, as if you’d believe that the 3/4 bottle is empty; and proceed to get off the sofa.

    Just because he can walk. At 17 months he is walking around, screaming demanding for stuff, stuff his jie-jie has just because she is holding it, screaming because his jie-jien snatches it back, screaming just because he has a voice. He’d also mumble. Sometimes imitating words he’d immediately heard uttered by the adults around him, sometimes it’s his own words that he’d used before, like that dah-den that seems to me to describe anything and everything in his universe.

    I’d go over, carry him back to the sofa, sit him down and get down to his eye level, grunting “Finish your naan-naan!”

    He’d look past me. At the tv behind me, at the wall behind me, at the shelf behind me. Just not at me. He’d move his head slightly, but it’s usually just the use of his eyes, no need wasting energy moving the head. No, don’t make eye-contact with Daddee, let’s drive him crazy a bit more. Ignore the bugger.

    * Now I know what my mum went through, getting me to sit down and finish whatever it was I was supposed to do! And Caleb is not even 2 yet!

    I was gonna say “It has begun”.. but you know it had already begun even before he turned 1! Ugh!

    Well, it’s been two nights in a row now that Caleb’s slept through the whole night without waking. Well, almost.

    He knocked off around 9:30pm or 10pm, and didn’t wake till about 5:30am-ish.

    But that’s good enough for this Daddee and Mummee.

    He also feeds less crankily since he’s also had a good rest; but just enough that by the end of 6oz he’s also starting to tire, and did knock off again back to the comfortable bed, full.

    But, it’s ONLY been two nights in a row. So let’s hope he keeps this going.

    He’s about a week short of 9 months old.

    It’s hard not to compare your kids when you have more than one.

    Especially with Caitlin already not needing overnight feeds early in her life / early in our new parenting roles; I think it was even around 6 months that she started sleeping through the night. The other things would also be when she started walking, and when she was toilet trained.

    Little Man Caleb still wakes (with a wail, no less) in the middle of the night, with each parent pretending not to hear it waiting for the other to get outta bed, or dreading that it is our turn to feed….

    So us parents, and to an extent Caitlin (yes she still sleeps with us due to space constraints) are usually panda-eyed, dozing off at work and in school…. where opportunities for sleep is cherished and which means a trade-off for any other (nocturnal??) activities… such as regular exercise – a topic which deserves a whole different series of posts.

    HM (Hot Mummee or of late, Her Majesty!) suggested recently that when Caleb does wake and cries, to lull him back to sleep quickly, before he “fully” wakes wide-eyed.

    This is, of course, depended on him being “more tired / tired enough” than his actual (presumed reason for waking) hunger. We OH SO SINCERELY hope that this will work, and work enough times for him to get used to not feeding at nights, eventually leading to him getting used to not waking anymore.

    We have tried this two nights in a row, with my turn being only last night / this morning.

    He woke wa-waa-WAAAA and HM was almost-violently shaking my leg. I got up, mumbled something, and picked him up to immediately cuddle him. In the dark I could see (through my squinty lack of sleep eyes) that his eyes weren’t squinty. The little terror was looking around.

    Assuming my usual stance, I was bouncing and swaying him (think golf-swing hip-movements) for quite a while. I almost gave up seeing as he was wriggling a little; a sign that he really isn’t all that sleepy. And I was actually working up a sweat already.

    Lucky for me (him?) that he did eventually knock off. Put him back in the cot and he started stirring and actually propped himself looking up. Fearing the worst (!) I managed to pat him back to sleep though- did this a few times.

    This morning I got out of the shower to find HM feeding him. She had prepared his milk already, presumably he was wa-waa-ing when I was in the shower. She remarked that his cot is a little wet with pee….

    So what’s the take-away with this exercise?

    That this may actually work, but at the same time we have to decide whether to check and change his diapers, risking fully-waking him in the process of washing / changing him.

    Hope this is a workable tip shared here.