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You are starting to show your traits: You are compassionate. If you accidentally knock someone you immediately apologise without prompting from anyone. If jie-jie is hurt, you go to her asking if she is okay. And if she asks if … Continue reading
Caitlin had to be in school early today, for an excursion to the zoo. Their chartered bus would have to leave at a time when we are usually only leaving home, effectively some 20-30 minutes out.
So there was an idea for Caitlin to spend the night at Grandma’s, since it’s so much closer to school and not risk missing the bus- which is departing earlier than when we leave our own home.
So, the previous night, only Caleb came home with us.
I wasn’t the only one feeling somewhat “empty”. 2 Year old Caleb waved goodbye to his jie-jie when we left Grandma’s, yet kept asking “Where jie-jie? Where?” most of the night. Our usual routine at that time of day is for them to chill out, usually with Playhouse Disney on the tube, and they are either or all of lying on the beanbag watching, or making small projects with the scrap paper we collect (colouring, making makeshift toys like wands, pretend-anything), or having their last milkies for the day.
Caleb pretty much had to do most of these alone. In fact he was almost subdued on this night, only mainly watching the tube from the beanbag.
He obviously takes the lead from jie-jie, which obviously leads to other behavioural “problems” when jie-jie hasn’t exactly been good! More to come on this!
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Yup, Daddee came home with some surprise gifts for us…. Since jie-jie already has a pair, now I have one too! ROCK ON, DUDE!
Dr Pixie warned before that children reaching 2 will start to push the envelope with you.
Caleb turned 2 this January. But this post isn’t about him.
Last night I smacked Caitlin- the grab-her-arm-so-she-can’t-run-away smack; the night before Hot Mummee smacked her too.
I have had long car-ride talks with her about being the big sister to Caleb- she snatches from him, does dangerous leaps; how he looks up to her and mimics her not knowing right from wrong yet; and so, telling her that what he does is generally her fault (on this I had clearly highlighted both the good things he mimics as well as the bad things).
But last night she was just plainly defying me.
Hot Mummee says I have always been too lenient: I believe in a couple of warnings first. Last night she was pounding an inverted empty raisin tin like a drum with some of her colour pencils, her brother copying her. After repeated and increasingly stern pleas and warnings to stop “Because it’s noisy and you will break the pencils inside..”, she still went on with it. I took it away. She went to get it back. I took it away again out of reach.
Then she started playing with her plastic childrens-table, turning it upside down and crawling under it pretending to be a tunnel, her brother copying her, when he has already cleaned up in pj’s ready for bed. Pleas turned into warnings, not heeded again.
“I said no!”
” I said yes!”
I flipped: CHASED and grabbed her arm and whipped-smacked the back of her thigh.
She bawled. It stung my fingers for a while, which I am sure was the same on her fleshy thigh. I didn’t regret it. Repeated warnings warranted it.
“Don’t you talk back to me!” and reminded her about the earlier two let-go’s before I flipped.
And here’s the potential tear jerker:
Why are you more happy with di-di (younger brother) than with me??
Fine tight rope act and speech required here.
After insisting that she calmed down, I explained; as had Hot Mummee the night before. “We love you both the same, but you just plainly do not listen!“, “.. he listens to us..”, “..but he copies what you do, especially the bad things..”, “.. at 2 he is already very polite..” etc.
Sigh.
She is a smart kid. Quite bright, observant (that’s obvious from above), and at present somewhat requiring lots of guidance. We work fulltime, Grandma can only do so much. She is still okay with her studies, but it is this kinda in-discipline that is preventing her to start being able to read, at 5-turning-6 age.
Woken by the kids, got them some morning snacks, and since it wasn’t too sunny and hot….
Luckily for everyone, Caleb actually likes to push from behind. But it won’t be long though, before he’d be wanting to ride.
Yes, they were still in their jammies. It’s Sunday okay- give us parents a break!
Evening came and it was time to get ready for bed.
Caleb can express his hunger quite audibly / comprehensibly now, by telling us “nan-nan”.
As you can see he’s quite comfortable on the beanbag. Quite a relief for all of us, since we don’t always have to be watching him when he feeds now.
Caitlin, on the other hand, was being rather cheeky about bedtime. Calls to her to go clean her teeth went unanswered.
We found her like this.
Now that’s one way of getting out of doing something. I gotta try that with Hot Mummee one day….
I am kinda struggling with this one.
Caitlin, in general is sweet to her younger brother Caleb. Since she was able to walk, she’d been fascinated by other humans her size. So, I guess it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise that she is so, to her little brother.
However, having been the only child for her first 3 years, the first grandchild at HM’s family side (Caitlin makes the 14th grandchild on my side!) I dare say she is kinda “spoiled” in that she’d be used to being the sole attention-getter.
For myself, I have made a conscious effort to be conscious of how she may feel when this happens. Especially when relatives are “re-living” having a rugrat and who’s just learned how to walk, Caleb has been getting all the attention of “How cute!”, “Look how he likes to walk in circles / spins / tiny stamping feet..”, Caitlin has been “relegated” to be the second favourite.
Touchwood- so far she doesn’t seem to be showing any ill feelings towards her brother as a result. The only hint of jealousy that I can readily observe, is when either is holding onto a toy and the other will want it (yes, only when the other has it!), or when one is embracing Grandma, the other wants to rush over for the same… the same doesn’t seem to apply to Daddee though! Caitlin embraces Daddee and Caleb is like “Ho hum ah well now what was I doing again?”
When this happens, I try my best that the other also gets the “equal opportunity”; either by embracing both, getting them to share, or even a simple look over to Caitlin offering her a reassuring smile. She usually reciprocates with one too, which is always heart-warming for Daddee. One thing I gotta do reverse too, is that in the mornings and evenings Caitlin rides with me in the front, with Caleb in the baby seat in the back with the helper. I spend most if not all of that time chatting with Caitlin on just about anything, whilst Caleb is kinda left on his own ogling at the window to the world zooming past.
One thing that I am a little impatient waiting for, is for Caleb to soon understand and speak more for us to also rationalise with him, so that Caitlin is not always the one having to give in; which she does now “because he doesn’t understand; and you’re the jie-jie..”
But that of course also means that Caitlin will no longer be the 4 year old that she is now, and that Caleb would have outgrown his current Royal Cuteness…. sigh.
How was your experience with growing up with a sibling, either as a younger and/or older one? How did your parents manage your different characters?
At one stage I did want to try sporting a crew cut. Call it chicken, call it because-my-hair-is-thinning. It’s because the shape of my head will only make me look (more) silly. But my son sports it well- the second … Continue reading
