Yes, I know this is overdue, so overdue that the fortnight of Chinese New Year celebrations are already over.

Just thought I’d share this lovely photo of my two lovely kids.

Grandma bought these outfits for them- trust her (and her taste) to find these treasures. The kids wore these on the first day of the new [...]]]>

Yes, I know this is overdue, so overdue that the fortnight of Chinese New Year celebrations are already over.

Just thought I’d share this lovely photo of my two lovely kids.

Grandma bought these outfits for them- trust her (and her taste) to find these treasures. The kids wore these on the first day of the new year. Never mind that Hot Mummee took forever to get them ready and was therefore late coming downstairs to greet and wish everyone- they looked fantastic and everyone ooh and ahh-ed.

Taking these shots of them wasn’t easy. As you can tell it’s not that easy telling a 2 year old boy to stand still, look this way, and smile, while at the same time telling his jie-jie to hold that pose and smile too, waiting for that opportune time of him.

During the few days we were at my parents’ house, one of the nearby neighbours had a lion dance come bless their new house. As this was already Day something-or-other, we weren’t dressed in our best (anymore); in fact it was still rather early in the morning and, well, my hair was still in a mess. Not to let the chance pass, I grabbed the kids and got into the car to search for the origin of the drumbeats.

It was just around the bend. There were scores of other neighbours already, keen to get a good angle of the performance. It was also rather sunny, but I insisted the kids get exposed to this once-a-year cultural performance. I grabbed a brollie and the kids, and started finding a good spot on the road, in the sun. The host auntie owner-of-the-house saw us, “Come! Come inside and watch! It’s okay!” And so we did. It was good timing too cos the crew was just about to start (I don’t know what I heard earlier then- must have been a rehearsal…?)

I found a corner of their living room to stand, a spot where we shouldn’t be blocking the dancing. I was holding Caleb, while Caitlin was beside my left thigh. Caleb hasn’t seen one of these before, being only 2 years old; while Caitlin should be alright.

The dancing started. The opposite of what I was expecting happened. Caleb was staring wide-eyed at the whole thing, poker-faced reactionless, taking in the whole noise of the drums and cymbals and the strange looking creature. Caitlin however was cowering, left thigh, right thigh, face buried in thigh.

Then the big event came. The 10-foot long firecracker was lit. Since it was rather crowded and we were boxed-in where we stood, I used my opposite hand to close Caleb’s far-side ear and pushed his near-side ear against my cheek, covering them from the loud popping of the firecrackers; we were after all only about 20 feet from it. They didn’t flinch, and in fact I think they enjoyed the suspense of it, hearing it and seeing it pop, red paper sprayed into the air by bright flashes.

When it was over, the owner-auntie came and gave all the children ang pau’s, mine included

I have said before that I envy Caleb’s head-shape: Cos this Daddee can never pull off getting a crew cut like this and still look “normal”, instead, likely to even get a chuckle from people at first sight.

This shot was taken under 30min of him having it cut. As you can guess, it was in [...]]]>

I have said before that I envy Caleb’s head-shape: Cos this Daddee can never pull off getting a crew cut like this and still look “normal”, instead, likely to even get a chuckle from people at first sight.

This shot was taken under 30min of him having it cut. As you can guess, it was in a major shopping centre. Here we are taking some snaps of the Chinese New Year decor.

Despite minor protests from Hot Mummee, I stand by my decision for this crew cut… And no, this is not a sign of things to come, insofar as fathers imposing their wishes onto their kids! IT’S ONLY A HAIRCUT!

Caleb turned 2 this January. But this post isn’t about him.

Last night I smacked Caitlin- the grab-her-arm-so-she-can’t-run-away smack; the night before Hot Mummee smacked her too.

I have had long car-ride talks with her about being the big sister to Caleb- [...]]]> Dr Pixie warned before that children reaching 2 will start to push the envelope with you.

Caleb turned 2 this January. But this post isn’t about him.

Last night I smacked Caitlin- the grab-her-arm-so-she-can’t-run-away smack; the night before Hot Mummee smacked her too.

I have had long car-ride talks with her about being the big sister to Caleb- she snatches from him, does dangerous leaps; how he looks up to her and mimics her not knowing right from wrong yet; and so, telling her that what he does is generally her fault (on this I had clearly highlighted both the good things he mimics as well as the bad things).

But last night she was just plainly defying me.

Hot Mummee says I have always been too lenient: I believe in a couple of warnings first. Last night she was pounding an inverted empty raisin tin like a drum with some of her colour pencils, her brother copying her. After repeated and increasingly stern pleas and warnings to stop “Because it’s noisy and you will break the pencils inside..”, she still went on with it. I took it away. She went to get it back. I took it away again out of reach.

Then she started playing with her plastic childrens-table, turning it upside down and crawling under it pretending to be a tunnel, her brother copying her, when he has already cleaned up in pj’s ready for bed. Pleas turned into warnings, not heeded again.

“I said no!”

” I said yes!”

I flipped: CHASED and grabbed her arm and whipped-smacked the back of her thigh.

She bawled. It stung my fingers for a while, which I am sure was the same on her fleshy thigh. I didn’t regret it. Repeated warnings warranted it.

“Don’t you talk back to me!” and reminded her about the earlier two let-go’s before I flipped.

And here’s the potential tear jerker:
Why are you more happy with di-di (younger brother) than with me??

Fine tight rope act and speech required here.

After insisting that she calmed down, I explained; as had Hot Mummee the night before. “We love you both the same, but you just plainly do not listen!“, “.. he listens to us..”, “..but he copies what you do, especially the bad things..”, “.. at 2 he is already very polite..” etc.

Sigh.

She is a smart kid. Quite bright, observant (that’s obvious from above), and at present somewhat requiring lots of guidance. We work fulltime, Grandma can only do so much. She is still okay with her studies, but it is this kinda in-discipline that is preventing her to start being able to read, at 5-turning-6 age.

The other day, while assisting with her pj’s, she noted “M” on the tag of her pj pants.

“Daddee, why am I wearing pyjamas for boys?”

“Huh?” Looking at the colour scheme of what she had on. “No, these are colourful [...]]]> So it’s good that Caitlin has been able to read the alphabet for a while now.

The other day, while assisting with her pj’s, she noted “M” on the tag of her pj pants.

“Daddee, why am I wearing pyjamas for boys?”

“Huh?” Looking at the colour scheme of what she had on. “No, these are colourful pyjamas, both boys and girls can wear them…”

“But there’s a “M” written on it, and “M” is for Man.”

Everyone has their styles. Some hold their groins scurrying and yelling “I gotta go I GOTTA GO” while others do so subtly, yet while others (still) don’t tell you AT ALL that they have done it.

As far as a number 1 goes, Caleb won’t tell you. At all. [...]]]> This title certainly got you clicking

Everyone has their styles. Some hold their groins scurrying and yelling “I gotta go I GOTTA GO” while others do so subtly, yet while others (still) don’t tell you AT ALL that they have done it.

As far as a number 1 goes, Caleb won’t tell you. At all. Until you carry him and feel the wet diaper on your forearm, or when you discover the puddle of pee on the floor, while he is still running around being his 2year old self discovering and/or copying what his older sister does.

For his number 2’s however, is something I haven’t seen “done” before.

I understand everyone needs their privacy, whether it’s cos the poop is gonna stink, or that it’s simply because it’s the action of pooping. But for a 2 year old, what’s “privacy”? So it is with a lot of laughter of adorableness when we hear about, and then get to see, how my boy does it.

In private.

When you kinda suddenly discover him missing, you start to wonder whether he’s okay- but more often than not it’s because he has run to some corner of the room/house; preferably behind something, and pushing. It doesn’t matter if the pusher is 2 or 20 years old, I believe all humans push the same way. It becomes a lot more “funny” when it’s on a 2 year old boy. The same slight-squirm, the same red-face. Only standing up, hiding in some corner.

When we discover him “midway” he is somewhat apprehensive, don’t-come-any-closer kinda gesture. Dunno why. Perhaps at (only?) 2 he is starting to feel shame and embarrassment already. This idea is emphasised when I tease him (yes this Daddee teases his kids)- at any “usual” moment I’d look at him and say “Ngg ngg? Ngg ngg??” (the local baby talk for pooping; I think you can imagine how that term came about!) where he’d quite vehemently declare “Mai! MAI!” (which till today we are wondering whether he is trying to speak Hokkien dialect when most of what he hears is Cantonese where “no” is “moi”, not the Hokkien “mai”) as if the act of it is shameful.

Not that we make fun of him, maybe he is starting to develop his own self awareness and image (self respect?)

For now, I will still laugh at him. It’s okay if he develops a complex surrounding pooping. Having a complex surrounding pooping is okay compared to “performance anxiety” surrounding peeing, at the men’s room urinal.

Heh.

Between my two kids, the one who seems to show more compassion is, surprisingly, my son.

Maybe because Caitlin has somewhat been spoiled being the centre of attention for the first 3 years of her life. Maybe she unconsciously resents [...]]]> *Jie jie means older sister in Mandarin, and coincidentally, also in Cantonese; just in different intonations.

Between my two kids, the one who seems to show more compassion is, surprisingly, my son.

Maybe because Caitlin has somewhat been spoiled being the centre of attention for the first 3 years of her life. Maybe she unconsciously resents the now-diverted attention to her younger brother. Maybe she just needs some coaching on how to be an older sibling- we certainly remind her how to be, all the time.

She bullies him, teases him, taunts him. She pushes him, on the pretext of getting him to move. These are not evil intentions, it’s just her playfulness overwhelms her supposed characteristic of being the carer as the older sibling. At 3+ years older than him, she is obviously more advanced than him, and therefore he mimics almost everything he sees her doing.

Yet he still adores his jie-jie.

Upon waking, after seeing me and Mummee, he asks for his jie-jie. Caitlin doesn’t ask for him when she wakes. He quite willingly goes over to hug her when we suggest so.

I was told of this story only this week: Caitlin was away in school. Grandma had some raisins or similar goodies for Caleb. One for Caleb, and one for Caitlin; where Grandma told Caleb that this was reserved for his older sister.

The boy held on to it as much as he physically could- as in not wanting to put it down. As much as he liked this goodie, he was saving it for his sister. When the time came to pick her from school (or when she arrived home) he rushed to offer it to her. “JIE-JIE, nah!” and sticks it out towards her.

Yes he does also wear some of his jie-jie’s hand-me-downs, even those in pink. Okay only in private, like pj’s.

One day she came up to me all serious and asked “Daddee, am I tall?”

“Yes darling, you are considered tall for your age. Why?”

“I heard Grandma and Mummee telling their friends and say that I am tall.. and I don’t like when they laugh [...]]]> Caitlin has always been a little taller than average for her age.

One day she came up to me all serious and asked “Daddee, am I tall?”

“Yes darling, you are considered tall for your age. Why?”

“I heard Grandma and Mummee telling their friends and say that I am tall.. and I don’t like when they laugh at me..”

“They are not laughing at you; why would you think that?”

“….”

“It’s ok, maybe even good, that you are tall for your age. You know how you are in Pre-3 class where your friends are at least more than a year older than you?”

Nods.

“Well, even though you may be the youngest there at least you are not the shortest.”

“I guess… but I don’t like it when they laugh at me..”

“They are not laughing at you, they are just saying that you are. Well, now that you are tall, don’t you think that it’s good, that you can reach for things by yourself now? You can almost touch the light switches now when you jump, wash your hands now without a stool, you feet now being able to reach the ground when you cycle?”

“I guess…”

~~~~

Years ago when I was an adolescent I remember a conversation my parents had with Dr Pixie. I can’t recall how the topic was brought up, but it revolved around someone who was still quite short for his/her age, and Dr Pixie said there was something- either a shot or taken orally (hormones?) that can assist this kid in a growth spurt.

“Wouldn’t that just make him grow faster, rather than taller (eventually)?” I asked.

Dr Pixie looked at me, almost looking glad that someone asked that. “Good question” she said readily, “that could very well be the case- yes”- to which my brother gave me a thumbs-up “Can be a doctor!”

Dr Pixie proceeded to offer that ultimately it was still one’s genetics that determined a person’s height.

I am happy that Caitlin is tall for her age- she is not too tall, just that she therefore appears older than her age. Call me discriminating, but I’d prefer her to ultimately be an average height woman. I have seen really tall ladies and I do know they have trouble finding men!

Would I personally be intimidated about dating a taller woman? Possibly. I say this because I suppose I’d never approached and chat up anyone taller than I!

There’s something I just revealed about myself; well we also know that I am not a doctor, as much as I’d like to be

Being the rather laid back parents that we are; okay maybe “lazy” is the better description, we had only left it to the kids to entertain themselves with repeated playing of their favourite DVD’s.

One in particular this season was/is Ice Age [...]]]> Kids had only just gone back to school after a really really long year-end break.

Being the rather laid back parents that we are; okay maybe “lazy” is the better description, we had only left it to the kids to entertain themselves with repeated playing of their favourite DVD’s.

One in particular this season was/is Ice Age 3 (as opposed to last season, being Bee Movie). If you don’t know the franchise, the main characters are a couple of mammoths, a sabre tooth tiger, a sloth, and two brothers of possums. In a previous installment these have banded together as a herd, sharing with us viewers their adventures. I wouldn’t call them “adorable”; maybe because it has been repeatedly played-to-death so often that it has definitely lost its appeal.

They say kids and people dream about what they thought of or saw the most of during the day. Yup, you guessed it: Caitlin dreamt about these characters. Two nights in a row, in fact.

She shared this with me over a few “sessions”, first being during our car ride to Grandma’s in the morning before going to work, and then continued when she saw me afterwards.

She dreamt of Manny and Elly, the mammoth couple.

I asked if I was there. No. I asked if they were big. She said not really. I corrected her that mammoths used to be huge like a big car or bus (I try to watch Discovery channel as much as I can; will explain “try” another time!) I wanted to ask if they were friendly, but she quickly offered that they were, ‘cos they and the herd were travelling together with her; except Diego the sabre tooth lion. I guess Caitlin doesn’t quite fancy him all that much.

Later at home when she was relating her dreams during her later sessions, we overheard Hot Mummee exclaiming how she’s got a headache. Caitlin whispers to me “Maybe Mummee didn’t have nice dreams like I did; please don’t tell her I said that, okay?”

I like when she shares stuff with me. I hope she keeps this up forever through the ages, for obvious reasons.

Not that we minded the idea. Back then we only loathed about what the likely quality of basic amenities would be like. After all, there were stories of toilets with no [...]]]> My dad’s talked about this since the early 90’s: Of bringing the whole extended family for a visit to his hometown (more like village).

Not that we minded the idea. Back then we only loathed about what the likely quality of basic amenities would be like. After all, there were stories of toilets with no doors, toilets with no toilets but a hole in the ground. Somehow it never eventuated.

Through the years, the kids (my nephews and nieces) grew, and my parents have also continued keeping in contact with his relatives (well, they are mine too). They too have made visit(s?) here (but I was away studying/living in Adelaide at the time). A recent idea my dad had was to contribute toward a memorial of his ancestors, to keep the roots alive.

Recently, that idea came to fruition. And what better timing to also time the visit to the completed site with bringing the family there as well.

We had spent the week leading to, and including Christmas Day 2009, in Xiamen China. Xiamen city is only about 2-3 hours bus ride to the village, so it isn’t like a real trek too deep into China (please mind my poor knowledge of Chinese geography). That has worked out quite well all this time for my parents, making it easy for them to visit our relatives all these years.

My dad organised a tour group for this visit- which was actually just us, the whole 29 of us! It was a fun time for all as there were no outsiders and we were as our usual silly-carefree selves

I can’t say there was a sense of belonging, personally. After all, we were all born in and grew up in Malaysia. As a father I reckon my dad feels some form of achievement in finally bringing his own children together to see his birthplace, to see where we are from, his and our roots, connect with some distant blood relatives, and his contribution back to the community when he left with his father to seek, and found, a better life in distant shores. He had done well for himself with very humble beginnings, and by extension my generation (and later) are now a lot better off comparatively.

Take away the brick houses beside and behind this structure, and you have the house in which my father was born.

My grandfather built this house in the ’60’s apparently after the ethnic unrest in Indonesia, fearing the same for Malaya/Malaysia, with intention to bring everyone back to China to live in this bigger house.

This is (almost) everyone, infront of the “shrine” cum community hall that my dad funded and built

For Caitlin, at 5 years old I don’t think this will be a lasting impression. Ideologies of family ties is too mature for her. She will remember the some of the places we visited, and the fun with the cousins. She probably won’t remember how cold it was; she may remember what she wore; but she’s worn that same jacket before elsewhere.

One thing I’ve been saying to people who asked what I thought about my first visit to China is: “We were on the bus, driving through very long tunnels, to emerge to drive on long bridges.” I was rather awed by the landscape- it’s one thing to read about it and watch it on tv, but it’s another to see the natural landscape: mountains and valleys. Also, the technology deployed in this developing country is actually also more advanced than Malaysia. Tunnels bored through these mountains; long tunnels, and impressive world class bridges to carry you further. The highways are also multi-tiered, criss-crossing each other at higher and higher levels.

It is a big big country, there are uneven developments everywhere. I personally only saw 3 beggars on the street, only in Xiamen city; 2 of whom are disabled, the 3rd looked able-bodied but with a toddler probably 2-3 years old.

More pictures here:

• My brother’s photo collection on flickr
• Mine

So, since the tricycle is broken from regular wear and tear (I actually think it’s because Caitlin is [...]]]> Everytime Caleb’s jie-jie rides her tricycle or her training-wheeled bicycle he’d come up from behind and gladly be pushing her. Never has he asked to be riding it, even though he has Caitlin to see as an example.

So, since the tricycle is broken from regular wear and tear (I actually think it’s because Caitlin is growing and her weight actually broke the structure!) they’ve only been able to ride/push the bigger bike, which is left at my mum’s, on weekends when we visit.

Also, we thought since her jie-jie is able to ride around now, why not have the means for him to join her.

This is what we have gotten for Caleb.

It looks like a pretty interesting design- you’ll see that there are detachable handles that can be used for both pushing and guiding, assuming he doesn’t peddle too fast!

Caleb doesn’t know it yet, nor does he understand the concept of Christmas presents. I wonder if he wonders what they big wrapped box under Grandma’s tree actually contains!

She doesn’t tell me everything that’s bugging her, or what she is thinking anymore.

I saw a bag of her old clothes ready to be given away- that she has grown out of. Spotted a pair of shorts that she likes / wears quite often. She doesn’t find [...]]]> She doesn’t find my jokes funny all the time anymore.

She doesn’t tell me everything that’s bugging her, or what she is thinking anymore.

I saw a bag of her old clothes ready to be given away- that she has grown out of. Spotted a pair of shorts that she likes / wears quite often.
She doesn’t find my jokes funny all the time anymore.

She doesn’t always tell me everything that’s bugging her, or what she is thinking anymore.

I saw a bag of her old clothes ready to be given away- that she has grown out of. Spotted a pair of shorts that she likes / wears quite often.

My baby is growing out of the “cute” phase. She is developing more and more into a “regular” person!

We organised a party at the kids gym, like last year; only at a different venue. Should have gone back there, more value for money you know.

We invited Caitlins friends from school; maybe I am generalising here but I still tend to think that locals don’t know what RSVP means. A few replied, but I had to call up a few too to confirm whether they were coming, or not.

As I recall, for the same price, last years was organised in a room, the staff organised games, and there was a lot more food for everyone. This years they only put together the tables and enough seating for the headcount, and served the food- that’s it. Moreover 10min before the end of our booking we were actually “reminded” to vacate make room for the next booking.

It’s just as well that the kids were more keen to get into the gym cos they were bored shitless.

I thought I’d organise it the day right after the last day of school. Not only was it the weekend before Caitlin’s actual birthday, it was also more likely that her friends are still in town, in case the families have year-end holiday plans, presumably they’d not leave town so soon after the last day of school. It would also be the last time these friends see each other before they all start primary school when schools reopen in January… except Caitlin, naturally.

Happy Birthday my dear

Last year’s Halloween in particular (because I can’t remember if 2007’s Halloween left any impression on this then-just under 4 years old), the kids in our building came around all dressed and made up. Caitlin was more than just a little [...]]]> Last night was Caitlin’s real experience of Halloween; well, for this Daddee too, actually.

Last year’s Halloween in particular (because I can’t remember if 2007’s Halloween left any impression on this then-just under 4 years old), the kids in our building came around all dressed and made up. Caitlin was more than just a little disturbed, besides seeing “ugly” faces she was also left wondering why the hell kids would wanna scare other fellow human beings, what possible pleasure would be derived from going through all that trouble.

This year, as the date was approaching and shops started putting up the decor, she kinda grew accustomed to this once-a-year event (”just like a birthday”) and somewhat accepted this oddity in human psyche. Either that or she’s been quietly getting more and more disturbed harboring and bottling this up to someday become a really disturbed serial killer to carry out acts like in movies of similar namesake.

Since my parents have moved to the new gated community, we had spent our first weekend at their new house; as we do every weekend (since otherwise we don’t get to see my parents during the week). This community also has a few expats, and, unsurprisingly, they were going to do something with/for their kids. There was a flyer indicating a party starting at 7pm, that for all interested kids (and adults alike) to gather at the playground, and for interested residents game enough to treat or be tricked, to at least paste a picture of a pumpkin on their doors/windows.

Caitlin’s cousins were initially interested in participating, so Caitlin was kinda roped into it too. So, earlier in the afternoon we went shopping for a costume for her amidst buying stuff for the new house. We went to Toys R Us, and instead of choosing something typical to Halloween, she opted for what she’s kinda always wanted: a pair of fairy wings and a wand. Good too, cos I was somewhat concerned about what to do with the costumer come this time tomorrow.

The time came, and we were getting ready. Caitlin’s cousins pulled out, problem thought they were too old for this. I didn’t really know how to dress her seeing as she was going to be (just!) a fairy, I let her decide what to wear; which was just a t-shirt and jeans. Already looking out the window there were kids all decked out; i saw a lot of black (witches, Morticia Addams-like We were a little late; by the time we had gulped down our dinner there were traveling parties of kids door-knocking already.

And wouldn’t it you know it, it started drizzling! I quickly grabbed a brolly and got ourselves to join one of the groups. Being the odd one out amongst the group of kids who obviously already knew each other, we just tagged along and tried to make small talk; Caitlin too Ok, there were also parents who were also dressed up and played chaperones.

To be honest in my mind i had wanted to tag along on my inline skates: Nothing is more scary than an old man trying to be young by being on skates! It was just too bad that it started raining. Honestly. Caitlin is still too young to say these words: Dad, you embarrass me.

It was a rather fun time even for Caitlin She managed to collect a substantial amount of candy, getting more into this after each door-knock. She was still rather apprehensive though, as she wasn’t really audible with her “trick or treat” and “thank yous”.

It was quite nice culturally to see how the residents got into this: The porches were decorated with the typical pumpkin and other “scary” things; there was one with a severed head and hand; which I can only presume that Caitlin either didn’t see or pretend she didn’t to someday grow up to be…

The timing was such that the small groups somehow all finished nearly the same time, and instead of gathering at the now-drenched playground the setup was moved to presumably the organiser’s porch. it was a potluck event, but I had only brought drinks. Caitlin however was already quite relaxed once she got stuck into the chips and the mini sausages. The lady (organizer) even had a game. She took out a stack of disposable diapers and lined them along the table, saying that this is a game but not a race; “who wants to join in?” I yelled out that Caitlin’s brother has some used ones where we could provide, to which she said “these ARE used ones!” There were kids who were game, and when the game started they were told to open it up and eat what was inside: very real looking op! She had really gone through the trouble and made whatever that was to look very very much like what Caleb produces in his diapers! Most of the kids and even some adults were really enjoying it though!

My brother, seeing as this was a “photo event” had set up his camera on his porch, that for a “fee” for the candy, you gotta pose for him

I agree with him (on his Flickr site) that this would be the best dressed of the night

There are more at his site

We made sure Caitlin understands that she has to bring and share all that sugar with her school friends. No resistance there, she’s always liked to bring stuff to share, if only there were enough to go around when there’s something she wants to bring.

I’d say given how Caitlin admitted that she had fun, next year she’d likely be as game and enthusiastic as the older kids from the night. Her little bother would be just under 3 then; cant say how he’d be yet, seeing as he is actually showing signs of timidness yet look-at-you-from-corner-of-the-eye attitude.

Well actually she made it; I only drew the lines for her to copy the letters from a real one

My parents are moving to a new gated community along with my two older brothers. What is significant; I guess not just for me, is that our parents have been living in this house since 1984, when it was renovated, and since 1975 on that same plot [...]]]> This, and last week, were quite significant for me.

My parents are moving to a new gated community along with my two older brothers. What is significant; I guess not just for me, is that our parents have been living in this house since 1984, when it was renovated, and since 1975 on that same plot of land.

Yes, a lot of memories surrounding this house.

• I learned how to cycle there
• I chilled at the kitchen’s breakfast counter watching the A-Team/Airwolf when mum was teaching yoga upstairs
• The same breakfast counter I had cereals before school
• The same house where our beloved Alsation grew up and grew old and died
• All the kids had their wedding ceremonies there
• All the Chinese new years
• Nieces and nephews’ first steps
• I had a birthday party there where my high school crush came
• It was home when I returned for holidays whilst studying in Australia
• It was home.

Anyway

I was there last weekend helping pack my accumulated junk since teenage years. Caitlin came along too; Caleb didn’t because of the impending mess that comes with moving. Naturally she questioned EVERYTHING she saw. She saw the birthday cards from high school girl-friends. She saw some of my obsolete computer hardware. She saw some of my cassettes of 80’s pop music (to avoid embarrassment I wont cite who they were!)

Today I wasn’t there for the “official” move (according to the Chinese lunar calendar today is a good day). But this weekend will likely be the last time i get to set foot in that house when the trucks ferry off the last remaining personal items.

I took this shot of Caitlin helping remove and sort out some really old photos from a 50+ years old album, of my parents’ dating days, and also baby pics of my older siblings!

Since Caleb’s arrival, and since we are unsure about our medium-term plans, we have not invested in re-arrangements of [...]]]> It’s not too surprising that Asian parents let their children sleep in the same room as them; with the cot or the small toddler-sized bed in the room. Not surprising cos we all do it

Since Caleb’s arrival, and since we are unsure about our medium-term plans, we have not invested in re-arrangements of rooms and sleeping plans; or even continued looking for places to buy – Caleb had simply taken over Caitlin’s bed turned (back) into a cot, and Caitlin started sleeping in our bed with us- between us! We have a super-king-sized bed so it’s actually not that crowded.

Obviously this isn’t the ideal nor near-term solution, so we had to do the hard thing of starting Caitlin to sleep by herself in the other room (harder for me!)- there is another double bed there from my previous life

The other main reason is also that our room is air-conditioned. We’ve found that it is that that’s causing Caitlin’s recurring and persistent coughs; and if you’ve been reading here lots, you’d know that when she gets into a coughing fit, puking is usually “followed through”. It’s never a friendly household when there’s puke on our super king sized bed.

And honestly, since she’s started sleeping there, her coughs are few and far between.

So, being so attached to me has its big downside. It’s been just over a month now that Caitlin’s been sleeping there at nights. Most nights she’s been waking in the middle of the night asking for me, on the real pretext of needing to pee. Sometimes she’d also wake from screaming, requiring some Daddee comforts to go back to sleep. When there happen it’s somewhat laborious- we insist she locks her room, and we lock ours too (we have the key to her room). So she’d have to knock and wake us when she does this.

“Good nights” are when she is dead tired from the days’ activities; either we were out doing something physically active, and/or that she’d missed her daytime naps and just knocks off into deep sleep quickly.

Lately, we’ve been coaching her to make her own toilet breaks. A main “obstacle” from before was that she wasn’t tall enough to reach the toilet light switch. This week I’d noted that she is just tall enough now, with the aid of a step-stool. I made a positive hoo-ha about it, and so far she seemed quite proud of that ability.

From a personal Daddee perspective, this is a bittersweet milestone. Hot Mummee is keen for them to quickly be independent, whilst I am one to indulge in their natural stages of growth. I don’t/didn’t look forward to Caitlin’s flailing limbs smacking me/us in the middle of my sleep, but I sought comfort from her being next to me, from a parent’s perspective as well as knowing she is okay, safe, and that she feels the same too.

Yes, Caleb is now sleeping in the cot in our room. So far, as far as I can tell, there is no jealousy from his jie-jie. We’ve been advocating that this is a grown(ing) up thing to go through.