Category Archives: The future

Accents..

Posted on 25 June, 2011 | Leave a comment

So Caitlin was just here visiting me recently, along with Caleb and Hot Mummee and Grandma.

Caitlin’s English has been pretty good all her almost-7-years life. Thanks mostly to us speaking to her with it, TV and the kiddie movies, and also to an extent the podcasts and online games she plays (no, not those you are thinking- these are just the simple Disney ones / online-extensions of the TV-channel programs).

So when she was here in Melbourne and whenever we went out, I’d try and get her to speak to some people- such as asking for directions, ordering food, etc.

She was apprehensive.

I guess she is aware that she is in another country, in a place where English is generally the first language of the locals.

As a parent I have kinda been conscious to not highlight too much to my kids the difference between people. Sure, in her studies they are already taught the differences between races- Yes, seriously. But I guess Grandma has also been “prepping” her for her journey here, that perhaps she may not be able to understand the Aussie accent, and maybe even that she should learn to speak proper English.

I may be wrong, but I think if Grandma had in fact been doing this, it may have had an adverse effect- the apprehension in Caitlin now.

She clearly did not want to interact. Sure she may not have been as brave in KL but I think she was especially apprehensive here. At one time we were in a local hypermart store and she wanted to check out some toys. I asked her to ask the staff where the toy section is. She blatantly did not want to try. She even offered me: “I don’t understand what they are talking about!”

Back home after shopping, in trying to ease her worries, I thought of this: Since their arrival I had left the TV on ABC’s kids channel. Here they air as much local content as possible. I asked her a simple question: “Do you know and understand what the real people (and sometimes the animated characters) are saying?”

Her answer was a quick and simple Yes.

“So then who said you don’t understand Australian English?”

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Posted in A father's POV, Caitlin the heiress, Education, The future

Tina Fey’s prayer for her daughter

Posted on 1 May, 2011 | 1 Comment

Fellow dad Sheldon Goh shared this on twitter, and thought I had to share it too. This is so apt for all parents :)

Tina Fey’s prayer for her daughter

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

May she be Beautiful but not Damaged, for it’s the Damage that draws the creepy soccer coach’s eye, not the Beauty.

When the Crystal Meth is offered, May she remember the parents who cut her grapes in half And stick with Beer.

Guide her, protect her
When crossing the street, stepping onto boats, swimming in the ocean, swimming in pools, walking near pools, standing on the subway platform, crossing 86th Street, stepping off of boats, using mall restrooms, getting on and off escalators, driving on country roads while arguing, leaning on large windows, walking in parking lots, riding Ferris wheels, roller-coasters, log flumes, or anything called “Hell Drop,” “Tower of Torture,” or “The Death Spiral Rock ‘N Zero G Roll featuring Aerosmith,” and standing on any kind of balcony ever, anywhere, at any age.

Lead her away from Acting but not all the way to Finance. Something where she can make her own hours but still feel intellectually fulfilled and get outside sometimes And not have to wear high heels.

What would that be, Lord? Architecture? Midwifery? Golf course design? I’m asking You, because if I knew, I’d be doing it, Youdammit.

May she play the Drums to the fiery rhythm of her Own Heart with the sinewy strength of her Own Arms, so she need Not Lie With Drummers.

Grant her a Rough Patch from twelve to seventeen. Let her draw horses and be interested in Barbies for much too long, For childhood is short – a Tiger Flower blooming Magenta for one day – And adulthood is long and dry-humping in cars will wait.

O Lord, break the Internet forever, That she may be spared the misspelled invective of her peers And the online marketing campaign for Rape Hostel V: Girls Just Wanna Get Stabbed.

And when she one day turns on me and calls me a Bitch in front of Hollister, Give me the strength, Lord, to yank her directly into a cab in front of her friends, For I will not have that Shit. I will not have it.

And should she choose to be a Mother one day, be my eyes, Lord, that I may see her, lying on a blanket on the floor at 4:50 A.M., all-at-once exhausted, bored, and in love with the little creature whose poop is leaking up its back.

“My mother did this for me once,” she will realize as she cleans feces off her baby’s neck. “My mother did this for me.” And the delayed gratitude will wash over her as it does each generation and she will make a Mental Note to call me. And she will forget. But I’ll know, because I peeped it with Your God eyes.

Amen.

Source: Bossypants

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Posted in A father's POV, Caitlin the heiress, life skills, My Parenting Side, The future

Long distance relationships

Posted on 9 March, 2011 | 2 Comments

Caitlin has turned 6 in Nov 2010, Caleb has just turned 3 in January 2011.

Caitlin is of a certain intellect already. We “connect” as we talk about stuff- and we can do that just by sitting down, in the car, at the table, and lately, over the internet on Skype. In fact with this latest medium, we also type messages to each other whilst I coach her on spelling them :)

Caleb however, is not at that level of intellect yet. We don’t “talk” per se- we play together. Though he understands stuff that is being said to him, he is still distracted by physical, tangible, more touch-sensory perception of the world and people around him than about to sit down and talk.

And so, he doesn’t miss me, not as much as his jie-jie does.

This was evident tonight. I got a message on my iPhone’s chat program from Caitlin, asking me to get on Skype to videochat, peppered with emoticons that she has recently taken to giggle at :)

And so we did, like usual, hearing and seeing each other on screen.

While talking to Caitlin and Hot Mummee for a while I saw Caleb in the background of the video chat. HM asked him to come talk to Daddee.

He didn’t want to.

I don’t blame him. There is no fun, at his level of intellect, to talk to Daddee in a window in the computer screen. There is no play involved like how it was with physical-Daddee; like how I’d play with his toys with him, kick the ball around with him, goof around with him.

I have said before that he will grow to not know his Daddee if we don’t hurry along our plans. This is perhaps the first step down that path.

I don’t have much time left.

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Posted in A father's POV, A toddler's POV, Caitlin the heiress, Caleb the heir, The future

Am I doing the right thing for my kids?

Posted on 5 March, 2011 | 1 Comment

It’s no real secret that I am here in Melbourne as the first step in our overall plan to relocate here.

I have studied, lived and worked in Australia before. I grew up in Malaysia, and spent my developing late-teen years here.

In individualistic ways, I am a minority. Having obtained secondary and tertiary education here and having worked on both shores put me a unique position- of outlook, experience, cultural and language backgrounds. These are perhaps the qualities that past immigration policies stressed on when they look at multicultural policies and also during attempts to address the skills shortage and its ageing population, in the competitive (now comparative?) global markets.

But I am not getting into politics here.

I can therefore speak a few languages and Chinese dialects as a result- I always tell people that one of the “given” advantages of an ethnic Chinese growing up in an Asian city is that one would automatically pick up at least one dialect. In KL it is the widely spoken Cantonese, Penang would be the local flavour of Hokkien, Malacca would be Mandarin, etc., without actually needing to attend a vernacular school (but which I did- thanks mum :) In Singapore ethnic kids are required to also take on their respective mother-tongue as a language subject, on top of English.

But as you have rightly guessed, I am now wondering what my children will be like when they are growing up here, eventually.

In a lot of ways, I don’t want them to be “typical”. Not using myself as a model, I do wish for them to be upstanding unique citizens. I know all parents want these for their kids too, but if you take me and HM in this context- we are different in the local context; and I am looking at this in an optimistic light.

But what about the kids? They are still young, and will still be when they move here and be just another “product” of the local system.

Of course, this is almost-literally two sides of the same coin: They too would be a product of that system over there.

So then we come back to the original question: Am I doing the right thing for the kids? Am I doing this for selfish reasons of my own preference for wanting to live here, and thus “dragging” them along without the maturity and knowledge to offer their own opinions and preference too?

At this stage I can only offer that what will shape them to be un-typical would be our methods and values in raising them in the local environment. Yes I am generalising here, but I would wonder how many (“young”? ;) parents out there have the kinds of background that HM and I have? A few, but not many, I would think.

And if I sound arrogant, I am not. I am looking out for my kids given what tools I have for this job.

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Posted in A father's POV, Education, Just saying, life skills, Parenting musing, The future

Updates..

Posted on 4 March, 2011 | 1 Comment

When I was home my kids would be all over my iPhone for the games. I have blogged before about how Caitlin plays a particular zoo management game; and Caleb too would have a few of his favourites.

Games, or apps for that matter, usually get updated by the developers. Either to add in new features, bug fixes, to be more updated; in particular with games, new scenes or characters would be added. With the zoo game that Caitlin plays, I have seen new animals and rangers being added when they are updated.

So now that I am away from home I have removed most of the games that were on the iPhone. For that matter I have also removed some of the security features- there were a few times when Caleb had unintentionally deleted my apps and info; he didn’t know better, of course.

So now when I check for updates of my apps, some of these installed games would indicate that there are updates available.

I don’t update them now.

And I kinda feel guilty, and sad.

Guilty because, even though they are games- I only install educational games or at least non-violent games; they do teach something to the kids. Hand-eye coordination, math games, basic strategies (the zoo management game), or simply interacting with “tools” that will become even bigger parts of their adult lives compared to us now. Guilty because I have taken away this opportunity/”toy” away from them.

And sad. I miss them.

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Posted in A father's POV, Caitlin the heiress, Caleb the heir, Ergonomics, The future

Tagged ,

Dreaming my dreams of you..

Posted on 27 February, 2011 | 1 Comment

Had a weird dream last night. Wonder if it is my subconscious expressing my not-so-hidden concerns.

In my dream I could recall real-life memories of skyping with my kids. I could recall the blurry image of them in the chat window, how I could still make out Caitlin’s missing two front teeth.

Then, still in that dream and with that “knowledge” or memory, I approached the Caitlin in my dream.

She was already a grown teenager, my height, bearing a full set of adult teeth. She was also dressed in her school uniform. She didn’t speak, just smiled lots.

Typical of my dreams (that I could at least remember) I was running around a lot, asking what’s-this/what’s-going-on questions. Particularly (mainly because I didn’t see anyone else) asking Hot Mummee this. She nonchalantly ignored me/my questions, went about her usual staring at her laptop. I recall I kept saying “But she was always only this tall”, holding my hand to my sternum, palm down. In the dream I even asked HM if Caitlin had even gone through puberty yet.

Cut to another scene; you know how dreams are.

There was me, the current-sized Caleb, and one other character in the foreground. We were near an open window.

Caleb proceeded to swiftly walk-climb to the open window, and fell out!

I peered out over the ledge; it was only a ground floor window, and he was faced down in a drain.

Cut to the next scene I was already outside. I picked him up, and sat him on the ledge of a flowerbox wall next to the drain. He was sobbing quietly. “Where ouch-ouch?” I asked, brushing dirt off his body. He points to a few joints here and there.

Then I woke up.

They say you can really only remember the last dream you had just before waking, forgetting the earlier dreams you have had from your whole sleep.

I think there are obvious underlying themes here, in my current conscious state of mind.. :-/

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Posted in A father's POV, Ergonomics, Just saying, Parenting musing, The future

The year that was, almost.

Posted on 14 December, 2010 | Leave a comment

It’s coming the year end already.

Caitlin has completed her pre-school. How it only seemed like yesterday, when she started with them 3 years ago now; and she will be starting primary schooling- Standard (or year) 1 come January 2011.

She’s been attending their orientation for the last 3 weeks; at the good suggestion from the vernacular Mandarin-based school. I still chuckle at the suggestion-letter, stating that it has been their experience that kids these days are more well versed in non-Mandarin language (especially English for kids today, they said) and find starting school in Chinese medium very tough going. I have seen this myself even some 15 years ago now with my nieces and nephews, with their parents saying their teachers were commenting how their kids would space-out in class, due to non-comprehending what was going on and thus getting bored.

Lucky for us, we had enrolled Caitlin in Chinese medium at the last 2 years of this preschool, which has helped tremendously. From what I can tell she has handled this orientation quite well. I think she will do fine when school starts. It’s when they start getting serious that I worry if she can cope with the workload.

Caleb’s vocabulary has improved tremendously this year too. It’s only in the last few months that he has started articulating his words more audibly. That’s not to say it is as good as Caitlin’s when she was his age, but at least for me I can understand him better now. Only now that he has started sharing his thoughts, that we realised that he is actually also quite a keen observer- noting road directions and asking why we aren’t going to a known destination because it’s a different road we are on. His hand eye coordination is definitely way better than Caitlin’s, although both seem to do quite well when it comes to console-type games. On this last one, they are true synonyms of “What latest technology?” (I read about a report with the interviewer, in commenting on how fast tech is moving, asked what kids thought about the “latest technologies”.) The “oldest” tech that these guys are still using may well be the DVD player. No wait, Hot Mummee’s recording of anime still uses the old VCR; at least they are still exposed to “tapes” :)

I suppose Caitlin demonstrates that girls do grow up (mature) faster. She’s been playing this game on managing a zoo quite well, with me giving some guidance (not that I am a finance / budget guru!) on saving for the future (of buying more land (zoo expansion), new animals and other zoo facilities. As compared to Caleb, Caleb still does not always comprehend the reasonings we give him on why he can / cannot do certain things. I also watched some doco about how or when kids start showing empathy…. Now that I think about it, he could just be cunning in pretending he doesn’t understand this and gets away with it “because he’s still little”!

One big thing that we are still grappling with is that they both must learn to share. Their constant arguments and almost-physical fights are a real worry and annoyance for all concerned. From what I hear and understand about maturity, this is something to “look forward to” for more years to come…

Caitlin has just turned 6, and Caleb will turn 3 in January 2011.

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Posted in A father's POV, milestones, Parenting musing, The future