You are inquisitive:
You see things and you tell me you see them. Every single thing.

And then you go Right Daddee? Right?

You are like Mummee- independent, and OCD:
You wanna try things yourself, and you wanna do it your way. That is why if whatever you are attempting is being done wrong, we will never get out of there.

You are also sly:
You still pee in your pants; likely from being too lazy to stop whatever fun activity you are doing at the moment to go pee. And when you are caught, you change the subject hoping that your trouble with the adults will go away. Of course it won’t, and so you run away. Literally.

But above all, all these traits are better than you being the opposite of them!

Happy Birthday buddy!

Caitlin has completed her pre-school. How it only seemed like yesterday, when she started with them 3 years ago now; and she will be starting primary schooling- Standard (or year) 1 come January 2011.

She’s been attending their orientation for the last 3 weeks; at the good suggestion from the vernacular Mandarin-based school. I still chuckle at the suggestion-letter, stating that it has been their experience that kids these days are more well versed in non-Mandarin language (especially English for kids today, they said) and find starting school in Chinese medium very tough going. I have seen this myself even some 15 years ago now with my nieces and nephews, with their parents saying their teachers were commenting how their kids would space-out in class, due to non-comprehending what was going on and thus getting bored.

Lucky for us, we had enrolled Caitlin in Chinese medium at the last 2 years of this preschool, which has helped tremendously. From what I can tell she has handled this orientation quite well. I think she will do fine when school starts. It’s when they start getting serious that I worry if she can cope with the workload.

Caleb’s vocabulary has improved tremendously this year too. It’s only in the last few months that he has started articulating his words more audibly. That’s not to say it is as good as Caitlin’s when she was his age, but at least for me I can understand him better now. Only now that he has started sharing his thoughts, that we realised that he is actually also quite a keen observer- noting road directions and asking why we aren’t going to a known destination because it’s a different road we are on. His hand eye coordination is definitely way better than Caitlin’s, although both seem to do quite well when it comes to console-type games. On this last one, they are true synonyms of “What latest technology?” (I read about a report with the interviewer, in commenting on how fast tech is moving, asked what kids thought about the “latest technologies”.) The “oldest” tech that these guys are still using may well be the DVD player. No wait, Hot Mummee’s recording of anime still uses the old VCR; at least they are still exposed to “tapes”

I suppose Caitlin demonstrates that girls do grow up (mature) faster. She’s been playing this game on managing a zoo quite well, with me giving some guidance (not that I am a finance / budget guru!) on saving for the future (of buying more land (zoo expansion), new animals and other zoo facilities. As compared to Caleb, Caleb still does not always comprehend the reasonings we give him on why he can / cannot do certain things. I also watched some doco about how or when kids start showing empathy…. Now that I think about it, he could just be cunning in pretending he doesn’t understand this and gets away with it “because he’s still little”!

One big thing that we are still grappling with is that they both must learn to share. Their constant arguments and almost-physical fights are a real worry and annoyance for all concerned. From what I hear and understand about maturity, this is something to “look forward to” for more years to come…

Caitlin has just turned 6, and Caleb will turn 3 in January 2011.

She’s finished pre-school, started primary school orientation, dropped like 4 (or 5?) milk teeth already with 2 adult bottom teeth in place, outgrown new-ish jeans that we had only bought about 6 months ago, the same with shoes, starting to tell funny jokes and can laugh at herself now instead of being too worried about being laughed at.

About 3 weeks ago, I had told it to her face “NO MORE BIRTHDAY PARTY FOR YOU”. She had told a lie, and in the process got her brother into deep trouble. We had just come back from her school friend’s party at one of the kids’ gyms, and had almost put down a deposit for her’s.

I was very much looking forward to this good-time with and for her. She was really looking forward to having her current school friends as well as last year’s friends (who are now in standard 1, different school) at the party, to play with and catch up with them- she is still off-and-on telling me she misses one or two of them. However, at the abovementioned party I didn’t see them doing alot of catching up though…

I am hoping that this punishment is sticking to her head. So far I think she remembers; because she has been “compromising” by asking if we could still have some kinda party at home.

We will; and I had wanted to anyway. My mum just called saying we’ll do something this weekend See, it is also Caitlin’s 2 aunties’ birthdays too; 3 consecutive days for the girls (my sister, and my sister-inlaw).

Perhaps we will do something tomorrow itself first. Despite all that I would like to do for my kids, I am still feeling that it’s not enough for their childhood memories…

On Saturday when Caitlin and I were done and leaving for the day, I had made sure again that she knew where to queue upon reaching the school on Monday, and where to wait for only a set list of people to follow home.*

This morning, I had thought to myself that I should at least walk her into the assembly area again, just for both(?) our peace of mind. Gladly the rain had stopped, and that I had decided to drop off Caleb first before heading to the school, with plenty of time to spare.

On a personal level I had wanted to gauge the time taken for everything for Caitlin to be in school on time. Chinese schools, at least in my time, are quite unforgiving when it comes to punctuality; and rightly so. The last thing I want is to be the cause for their lateness- not setting a good example and at the same time being cause of their likely punishment.

We got to the school area around 8:30am, with classes scheduled to start at 9am. After finding a spot to park (eager parents around too!) we finally reached the gate at 8:35am. I asked if Caitlin was okay to walk in alone from here; half hoping that she would still “need” me to come along. OKAY I’M A SOFTIE. She didn’t give me a straight answer, but kept on walking. Part of me was thinking perhaps she didn’t “need” me, either cos she truly was okay, or that she was already embarrassed by her dad at 6! She did after all quite suddenly ask for the routine before-school hug before even reaching the gates.

So I tailed her in towards the assembly area after all, just to be sure, with the usual never-boring side-to-side ponytail swing. At a 90 degree bend, she saw me, smiled, and waited for me to catch up.

I tried to deflect, asking if she knew where to go. She did. Made some small talk along the way. Upon reaching the assembly area, there was already a small crowd. I stood back letting her ahead to join the class-line. I gestured Can I go now?, she gestured back Wait.

Okay, she needs me

Soon, her boy-friend shows up, and they were clowning around already whilst still remaining in line. Then the school bell rings; quite a loud one too by the way- made Caitlin and I slightly-cringe; and the same teacher appeared on stage and greeted the kids, already starting to inculcate the usual manners of lao-shi-zao-an.

The teacher then says to the parents that from tomorrow onwards, “It would appreciated if the parents do not come into the assembly area (or the school at all, for that matter) and just to let the kids queue themselves”; at which time, to my surprise, Caitlin waves goodbye to me.

I nodded, smiled, and waved as I walked away, making sure she at least sees my hand above the heads- that she knows I was indeed leaving.

But as you know, I still hadn’t I just wanted to watch her some more, for whatever reason you want!

Soon though, the respective class teachers came to bring the lines of kids to their classrooms, and off went the ponytail in tow.

Queue before class, and parents!

I think she is well and truly settling in.

* This is after all, the first of such street-smartness that kids ought to know/learn about. In this world where it is no longer safe to be outside, either cos of baddies or simply cos there are just a lot more cars on the road now. I used to cycle around our neighbourhood, unaccompanied, without much worries from anyone.

It is a little pity that immediately after Caitlin’s preschool ends that her enrolled primary school starts their “extra” classes.

I thought it was rather funny when I read the parent-teacher-linked newsletter months ago saying that it has been their experience that a lot of new school children who start standard 1 in Chinese schools would have trouble understanding everything being in Mandarin; that they are all too fluent in English instead. In my days, the “problem” was that everyone spoke too much Cantonese instead of the mandatory on-campus language of Mandarin. Then again this was already the case with my nieces and nephews. Had heard stories about nieces quickly finding new friends based hearing English being spoken nearby.

Pity: That as her preschool ends (like all other schools) this school had scheduled an orientation-like day on the next day, Saturday. This was also kinda fun for Caitlin to be all decked out in full primary school gear. I am glad she was finding this more exciting/nervous than with the feeling of dread. I just hope this euphoria lasts through the whole 3 weeks following this, and into school proper too.

These classes are designed for the newbies to get acquainted with Mandarin by the time the school terms starts properly in January 2011. Secretly, I am so glad that we had sent Caitlin to at least 2 years of Mandarin medium in preschool. Though she is not altogether that fluent, she more than gets by.

This was witnessed early on the Saturday. Upon finding out which class she belongs, we asked her to wait by the respective sign waiting for 9am to come by. In the meantime, as more parents and kids arrive and get into their own lines, Grandma and I sorted out the books and other administrative matters. At 9am, one of the teachers came on stage to make some instructive announcements, for the day; as well as those made by her class teacher later on inside her classroom. Caitlin understood what she had to do.

There were still some more-than-teary eyed kids in the midst. And, as even with adult groups, there were also some clowns

And again, it was good to see her self-confidence. When the teacher was checking if all students knew which class they belonged by asking them to raise their hands based on “Who’s in class ABC/DEF?” She had her hand to ear ready to stick ‘em up high upon her class name being announced. Very seldom did she have to look out for me whilst in line, and when the line started moving towards her classroom, for the first time, in this new environment.

The school designed these classes quite well in some extent. It is actually quite good that by the time school-proper starts, she and her peers would know what to do in terms of waiting areas before and after school, where everything is, had already made friends, and ready to get stuck into the syllabus.

This, is Chinese school. Regimented, disciplined, let’s-get-stuck-into-the-books-ness.

What I didn’t think they had thought through was that since there would be a lot of mainly newbie-parents, that most would not know the layout of the school and what to do once we got there. Though they had stations to sell the text books and last-minute school uniforms, with the former they should have already set aside packs of these, since all the new kids would be requiring the same books. There were already queues by 8:20am when we go there and was still there after noon when the classes ended.

I had to duck out sending Grandma home, and recess was nearly over when I got back to the school. I was half worried I’d not find her in the big campus before they had to be back in class. Walked past the canteen to her classroom and she wasn’t there, checked her bag and at least knew that she knew to bring her sandwich along for a snack. Walked back to the canteen and glad to spot her from afar. Caitlin had already quickly made a boy-friend. I suspect it was ‘cos he speaks English

Then again I would think that those who are (whose parents think) already fluent in Mandarin probably don’t need these prepatory classes.

Monday, is when her 3-weeks begins. I have a nagging suspicion that the school is using this time to evaluate them to then properly assign them to different classes based on the different levels.

And as with tradition with her school, the annual concert is also the graduation ceremony for the Pre-3 level; one that is for those turning 6, those who then move on to start Primary or Standard 1 next year.

*GULP*. But we’ll come to that at a later date; she starts Standard 1 in January 2011.

The concert went well. Caitlin’s class had 2 performances- one to kick off the concert, another towards the end. The kick-off was akin to cheerleading, where they did a series of tumbles and mini-pyramids. Yup, even I was impressed with the little bodies supporting other bodies. Mind you they probably chose her to be a “pillar” cos of her slight chubbiness.. more stability?

It was at this performance that during one of the tumbles, Caitlin’s shoe came off! This is a new pair, you know them white ones you wear to school. The school insisted upon it, which in hindsight wasn’t an unfair “demand” considering all these kids ought to already have a pair soon for Standard 1 next year. But more importantly, I guess, was that they all looked very neat on stage in full uniform(ity).

On the shoe coming off, todate (some 2 weeks after already, after I have also already made DVD copies to watch) we still talk about that episode.

We had praised her for her rather quick thinking in spite of possibly experiencing stage-fright at the time. As evidenced while watching the DVD afterwards, she had commented that after putting the shoe back on and getting back in line, she had thought to adjust the shoe’s straps, as well as that of the other shoe. She didn’t panic when it came off, completed her tumble, slipped it back on, got off the mat and into line, and then only adjusted her shoes. There were other performers who froze on stage, by just being on stage.

But the “highlight” of this incident is that somewhere along the way, our efforts to get her to not be so ashamed of mistakes and to laugh it off, has paid off- at least for this incident. Instead of mulling over this mishap and “don’t laugh at me!”, she laughed at herself

“Look look LOOK!” she would tell whomever may be watching the first time, or even the 50th time, “See my shoe come off?? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! So funny right?”

My baby is all grown up..

As you can see, them shoes are indeed rather big! But they grow so fast….

And as you can also see, her previous post’s injury is now all gone.

They said I have a good swing, only it lacked the whip of the wrist, that my swing is too rounded and even. Otherwise, I do “feel” it too that the swing is not-bad

I think I can now justifiable use that on Caleb.

Earlier this year, probably not long after his 2nd birthday, we were already kicking a miniature basketball around inside the house. Caitlin, by comparison, sometimes still misses kicking the stationary ball, let alone decide which direction the ball will roll!

Caleb has always been able to center the ball, in terms of placing it squarely infront of him, and then actually kicking it straight to me. Not a bad feat for a kid his age; even my older brother (who is quite athletic himself during his day!) says so.

This morning, while waiting for lunch to be ready, we were again kicking the ball around in the living room. I decided instead of the usual to-and-froing, that I’d mark him soccer style.

Ball steals left and right, getting him to dodge in the same directions half a second later only to find the ball missing, and chasing after Daddee who is dribbling the ball away. Mind you for a 2.5 year old this is all new tricks for him to see and observe. At least it was all giggles and not cries of having the ball marked and stolen from him.

A short 10 minutes or so later old-man Daddee already had to sit down. But what does he find Caleb doing?

He is actually dribbling soccer-style behind the ball! The kid’s actually picked it up from just 10 minutes before!

Granted the living room isn’t very big, but he’s managed consistently to maintain just behind the ball, toe-tapping it 2-3 times as he ran after it before reaching the end of the living room, reposition, and start again the opposite direction!

Maybe I should expose him to golf next, and let him turn pro! Nothing wrong with soccer, just that as a professional career golf is a lot longer! This Daddee can be his manager and go on tour with him!

Oh, and yes- those are still his water-proof training pants!

Caitlin then told me that she “came first today because I got the most stars.”

Apparently her school or class has this reward “system” where the “good” kids are given stars for various achievements. I’ve heard her say this a few times before; only yesterday she said she got a star for best (hand) writing. Stars could also be awarded for, presumably, best behaved, etc. She further offered that the girls were the ones ahead, “the boys are all at the back..” !

So tonight she tells me that she’s got the most stars in her class. Naturally I was quietly very proud of my little princess

After congratulating her and finishing up dinner, we went to chill for a bit in the living room. We talked about how her friend (whom she mentions quite often) came second; according to her.

I felt compelled to tell her or teach her some facts of life.

I told her that there may be a chance that someone else, possibly her friend; seeing as it looks like she wasn’t far behind Caitlin, may “overtake” her, that she may end up not having the most stars in her class anymore.

Obviously still basking in this glory, she didn’t seem to quite grasp what I was trying to tell her. “Why?”

“I’m just saying that it may happen that one day someone else may have more stars than you, and that you should be prepared if that happens..”

“What’s ‘prepared’?”

“Be ready for it; that you should be ready for if someone has more stars than you one day.. That you won’t be the first anymore..”

She thought about it for a while. “Why?”

This morning in the car ride she’s reminded me that a couple of her teeth now feel wobbly..

I am happy that she is growing, but at the same time I don’t want her to!

Caitlin complained she can no longer see herself in the mirror when she brushes her teeth.

I have moved it higher now.

They grow so fast….

Yes, I know this is overdue, so overdue that the fortnight of Chinese New Year celebrations are already over.

Just thought I’d share this lovely photo of my two lovely kids.

Grandma bought these outfits for them- trust her (and her taste) to find these treasures. The kids wore these on the first day of the new year. Never mind that Hot Mummee took forever to get them ready and was therefore late coming downstairs to greet and wish everyone- they looked fantastic and everyone ooh and ahh-ed.

Taking these shots of them wasn’t easy. As you can tell it’s not that easy telling a 2 year old boy to stand still, look this way, and smile, while at the same time telling his jie-jie to hold that pose and smile too, waiting for that opportune time of him.

During the few days we were at my parents’ house, one of the nearby neighbours had a lion dance come bless their new house. As this was already Day something-or-other, we weren’t dressed in our best (anymore); in fact it was still rather early in the morning and, well, my hair was still in a mess. Not to let the chance pass, I grabbed the kids and got into the car to search for the origin of the drumbeats.

It was just around the bend. There were scores of other neighbours already, keen to get a good angle of the performance. It was also rather sunny, but I insisted the kids get exposed to this once-a-year cultural performance. I grabbed a brollie and the kids, and started finding a good spot on the road, in the sun. The host auntie owner-of-the-house saw us, “Come! Come inside and watch! It’s okay!” And so we did. It was good timing too cos the crew was just about to start (I don’t know what I heard earlier then- must have been a rehearsal…?)

I found a corner of their living room to stand, a spot where we shouldn’t be blocking the dancing. I was holding Caleb, while Caitlin was beside my left thigh. Caleb hasn’t seen one of these before, being only 2 years old; while Caitlin should be alright.

The dancing started. The opposite of what I was expecting happened. Caleb was staring wide-eyed at the whole thing, poker-faced reactionless, taking in the whole noise of the drums and cymbals and the strange looking creature. Caitlin however was cowering, left thigh, right thigh, face buried in thigh.

Then the big event came. The 10-foot long firecracker was lit. Since it was rather crowded and we were boxed-in where we stood, I used my opposite hand to close Caleb’s far-side ear and pushed his near-side ear against my cheek, covering them from the loud popping of the firecrackers; we were after all only about 20 feet from it. They didn’t flinch, and in fact I think they enjoyed the suspense of it, hearing it and seeing it pop, red paper sprayed into the air by bright flashes.

When it was over, the owner-auntie came and gave all the children ang pau’s, mine included

Not that we minded the idea. Back then we only loathed about what the likely quality of basic amenities would be like. After all, there were stories of toilets with no doors, toilets with no toilets but a hole in the ground. Somehow it never eventuated.

Through the years, the kids (my nephews and nieces) grew, and my parents have also continued keeping in contact with his relatives (well, they are mine too). They too have made visit(s?) here (but I was away studying/living in Adelaide at the time). A recent idea my dad had was to contribute toward a memorial of his ancestors, to keep the roots alive.

Recently, that idea came to fruition. And what better timing to also time the visit to the completed site with bringing the family there as well.

We had spent the week leading to, and including Christmas Day 2009, in Xiamen China. Xiamen city is only about 2-3 hours bus ride to the village, so it isn’t like a real trek too deep into China (please mind my poor knowledge of Chinese geography). That has worked out quite well all this time for my parents, making it easy for them to visit our relatives all these years.

My dad organised a tour group for this visit- which was actually just us, the whole 29 of us! It was a fun time for all as there were no outsiders and we were as our usual silly-carefree selves

I can’t say there was a sense of belonging, personally. After all, we were all born in and grew up in Malaysia. As a father I reckon my dad feels some form of achievement in finally bringing his own children together to see his birthplace, to see where we are from, his and our roots, connect with some distant blood relatives, and his contribution back to the community when he left with his father to seek, and found, a better life in distant shores. He had done well for himself with very humble beginnings, and by extension my generation (and later) are now a lot better off comparatively.

Take away the brick houses beside and behind this structure, and you have the house in which my father was born.

My grandfather built this house in the ’60′s apparently after the ethnic unrest in Indonesia, fearing the same for Malaya/Malaysia, with intention to bring everyone back to China to live in this bigger house.

This is (almost) everyone, infront of the “shrine” cum community hall that my dad funded and built

For Caitlin, at 5 years old I don’t think this will be a lasting impression. Ideologies of family ties is too mature for her. She will remember the some of the places we visited, and the fun with the cousins. She probably won’t remember how cold it was; she may remember what she wore; but she’s worn that same jacket before elsewhere.

One thing I’ve been saying to people who asked what I thought about my first visit to China is: “We were on the bus, driving through very long tunnels, to emerge to drive on long bridges.” I was rather awed by the landscape- it’s one thing to read about it and watch it on tv, but it’s another to see the natural landscape: mountains and valleys. Also, the technology deployed in this developing country is actually also more advanced than Malaysia. Tunnels bored through these mountains; long tunnels, and impressive world class bridges to carry you further. The highways are also multi-tiered, criss-crossing each other at higher and higher levels.

It is a big big country, there are uneven developments everywhere. I personally only saw 3 beggars on the street, only in Xiamen city; 2 of whom are disabled, the 3rd looked able-bodied but with a toddler probably 2-3 years old.

More pictures here:

• My brother’s photo collection on flickr
• Mine

She doesn’t tell me everything that’s bugging her, or what she is thinking anymore.

I saw a bag of her old clothes ready to be given away- that she has grown out of. Spotted a pair of shorts that she likes / wears quite often.
She doesn’t find my jokes funny all the time anymore.

She doesn’t always tell me everything that’s bugging her, or what she is thinking anymore.

I saw a bag of her old clothes ready to be given away- that she has grown out of. Spotted a pair of shorts that she likes / wears quite often.

My baby is growing out of the “cute” phase. She is developing more and more into a “regular” person!

We organised a party at the kids gym, like last year; only at a different venue. Should have gone back there, more value for money you know.

We invited Caitlins friends from school; maybe I am generalising here but I still tend to think that locals don’t know what RSVP means. A few replied, but I had to call up a few too to confirm whether they were coming, or not.

As I recall, for the same price, last years was organised in a room, the staff organised games, and there was a lot more food for everyone. This years they only put together the tables and enough seating for the headcount, and served the food- that’s it. Moreover 10min before the end of our booking we were actually “reminded” to vacate make room for the next booking.

It’s just as well that the kids were more keen to get into the gym cos they were bored shitless.

I thought I’d organise it the day right after the last day of school. Not only was it the weekend before Caitlin’s actual birthday, it was also more likely that her friends are still in town, in case the families have year-end holiday plans, presumably they’d not leave town so soon after the last day of school. It would also be the last time these friends see each other before they all start primary school when schools reopen in January… except Caitlin, naturally.

Happy Birthday my dear

My parents are moving to a new gated community along with my two older brothers. What is significant; I guess not just for me, is that our parents have been living in this house since 1984, when it was renovated, and since 1975 on that same plot of land.

Yes, a lot of memories surrounding this house.

• I learned how to cycle there
• I chilled at the kitchen’s breakfast counter watching the A-Team/Airwolf when mum was teaching yoga upstairs
• The same breakfast counter I had cereals before school
• The same house where our beloved Alsation grew up and grew old and died
• All the kids had their wedding ceremonies there
• All the Chinese new years
• Nieces and nephews’ first steps
• I had a birthday party there where my high school crush came
• It was home when I returned for holidays whilst studying in Australia
• It was home.

Anyway

I was there last weekend helping pack my accumulated junk since teenage years. Caitlin came along too; Caleb didn’t because of the impending mess that comes with moving. Naturally she questioned EVERYTHING she saw. She saw the birthday cards from high school girl-friends. She saw some of my obsolete computer hardware. She saw some of my cassettes of 80′s pop music (to avoid embarrassment I wont cite who they were!)

Today I wasn’t there for the “official” move (according to the Chinese lunar calendar today is a good day). But this weekend will likely be the last time i get to set foot in that house when the trucks ferry off the last remaining personal items.

I took this shot of Caitlin helping remove and sort out some really old photos from a 50+ years old album, of my parents’ dating days, and also baby pics of my older siblings!

If memory serves me right, I would have already done this memorable (at least to me) routine with her already: HM was always working late, so it was up to me to tuck Caitlin into bed. At her bedtime, when we are both all cleaned up and lying on our bed, I’d whip out my Windoze PDA and run the slideshow of the mugshots of relatives I have saved as their respective caller ID.

We’d be lying in bed on our backs, and I’d run them for Caitlin to identify who they are.

“Yeh yeh..” (Paternal Grandpa)
“Nai nai…” (Paternal Grandma)
“Gong gong..” (Maternal Grandpa)
“Po po..” (Maternal Grandma)
.. and so on, on both HM and my side of the family.

Till today I still think that was a “nice” exercise. Our culture practises calling / addressing / greeting our elders upon meeting them. And this exercise familiarised Caitlin associating the “titles” to the respective relatives.

Caleb is 1.5 years old now. He has started calling the ones he sees everday.

“Gong gnng…. Po po….”

And yes, even “Dad-dee…” these days But alas, it wasn’t his first words.

So I reckon I’d soon start him on this exercise too. Only that I’d have to find a conducive environment; Caitlin had the luxury of being the only child at that time; now with Caleb, Caitlin being her usual cheeky self will actually be a nuisance for this…. I’d have to find a compromise somehow.

Anyway.

I see this view, and it never ceases to amuse / amaze me how the little human man can have such a “large” head on such slender necks