Category Archives: life skills

Life skills

He really loves his jie-jie

Posted on 19 January, 2010 | Leave a comment

*Jie jie means older sister in Mandarin, and coincidentally, also in Cantonese; just in different intonations.

Between my two kids, the one who seems to show more compassion is, surprisingly, my son.

Maybe because Caitlin has somewhat been spoiled being the centre of attention for the first 3 years of her life. Maybe she unconsciously resents the now-diverted attention to her younger brother. Maybe she just needs some coaching on how to be an older sibling- we certainly remind her how to be, all the time.

She bullies him, teases him, taunts him. She pushes him, on the pretext of getting him to move. These are not evil intentions, it’s just her playfulness overwhelms her supposed characteristic of being the carer as the older sibling. At 3+ years older than him, she is obviously more advanced than him, and therefore he mimics almost everything he sees her doing.

Yet he still adores his jie-jie.

Upon waking, after seeing me and Mummee, he asks for his jie-jie. Caitlin doesn’t ask for him when she wakes. He quite willingly goes over to hug her when we suggest so.

I was told of this story only this week: Caitlin was away in school. Grandma had some raisins or similar goodies for Caleb. One for Caleb, and one for Caitlin; where Grandma told Caleb that this was reserved for his older sister.

The boy held on to it as much as he physically could- as in not wanting to put it down. As much as he liked this goodie, he was saving it for his sister. When the time came to pick her from school (or when she arrived home) he rushed to offer it to her. “JIE-JIE, nah!” and sticks it out towards her.

Yes he does also wear some of his jie-jie’s hand-me-downs, even those in pink. Okay only in private, like pj’s.

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Posted in A toddler's POV, Caitlin the heiress, Caleb the heir, life skills, siblings

Sleeping by herself

Posted on 7 October, 2009 | 2 Comments

It’s not too surprising that Asian parents let their children sleep in the same room as them; with the cot or the small toddler-sized bed in the room. Not surprising cos we all do it :)

Since Caleb’s arrival, and since we are unsure about our medium-term plans, we have not invested in re-arrangements of rooms and sleeping plans; or even continued looking for places to buy – Caleb had simply taken over Caitlin’s bed turned (back) into a cot, and Caitlin started sleeping in our bed with us- between us! We have a super-king-sized bed so it’s actually not that crowded.

Obviously this isn’t the ideal nor near-term solution, so we had to do the hard thing of starting Caitlin to sleep by herself in the other room (harder for me!)- there is another double bed there from my previous life :)

The other main reason is also that our room is air-conditioned. We’ve found that it is that that’s causing Caitlin’s recurring and persistent coughs; and if you’ve been reading here lots, you’d know that when she gets into a coughing fit, puking is usually “followed through”. It’s never a friendly household when there’s puke on our super king sized bed.

And honestly, since she’s started sleeping there, her coughs are few and far between.

So, being so attached to me has its big downside. It’s been just over a month now that Caitlin’s been sleeping there at nights. Most nights she’s been waking in the middle of the night asking for me, on the real pretext of needing to pee. Sometimes she’d also wake from screaming, requiring some Daddee comforts to go back to sleep. When there happen it’s somewhat laborious- we insist she locks her room, and we lock ours too (we have the key to her room). So she’d have to knock and wake us when she does this.

“Good nights” are when she is dead tired from the days’ activities; either we were out doing something physically active, and/or that she’d missed her daytime naps and just knocks off into deep sleep quickly.

Lately, we’ve been coaching her to make her own toilet breaks. A main “obstacle” from before was that she wasn’t tall enough to reach the toilet light switch. This week I’d noted that she is just tall enough now, with the aid of a step-stool. I made a positive hoo-ha about it, and so far she seemed quite proud of that ability.

From a personal Daddee perspective, this is a bittersweet milestone. Hot Mummee is keen for them to quickly be independent, whilst I am one to indulge in their natural stages of growth. I don’t/didn’t look forward to Caitlin’s flailing limbs smacking me/us in the middle of my sleep, but I sought comfort from her being next to me, from a parent’s perspective as well as knowing she is okay, safe, and that she feels the same too.

Yes, Caleb is now sleeping in the cot in our room. So far, as far as I can tell, there is no jealousy from his jie-jie. We’ve been advocating that this is a grown(ing) up thing to go through.

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Posted in A father's POV, A toddler's POV, Caitlin the heiress, Ergonomics, life skills

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Discipline on time management

Posted on 29 September, 2009 | 1 Comment

I was just reading this article about disciplining children, and reminded me of what had happened only this morning.

Granted it would always be the parents’ fault if children don’t get sufficient sleep/not going to bed early enough. Of late, I have found that Caitlin would still wake at around the same time in the morning, even if it wasn’t a school day (much like last week’s week-long break), even if she did not retire on time. She still gets her afternoon naps, so I am a little relieved that she would still be getting some growing-time (research says that baby lambs can actually grow cm’s while sleeping; let alone the rest the brain requires).

Still, no excuses though.

Of late on schooldays, I have also started waking her a little later than earlier this year- I have started waking her almost 30min later now. Decided on this because, other than both of us getting a little more sleep, I had also found that she used to be waiting to leave, all dressed and ready and catching a bit more of Playhouse Disney in the meantime.

Waking her this morning wasn’t as difficult as Monday morning this week (cos we were all at a relative’s wedding dinner and all retired very much later than usual). Still, being her usual self she was moping around and taking too long doing everything (getting her morning dose of milk, teeth-brushing, washing up).

Instead of grunting at her, I tried this: “You know, if you wanna do things so slowly, then Daddee will have to wake you earlier so that you won’t be late for school… Either you do things quickly and not be day dreaming and wake up a bit later/get to sleep some more, or I wake you earlier.”

Knowing that sleep is quite precious, I think it may actually work. “OKAY OKAY..”

Not to contradict myself, I didn’t have the time to go get the recent “toy” I bought her. I got her a cardboard clockface from MPH for RM6.90 (if I recall correctly) with movable hands and hour and minutes on the face. I have been trying to teach her how to read the clock.

I had wanted to show her what I meant about waking earlier. But “I will have to wake you even before the sky turns bright” was enough to drive the message home.

Let’s hope she sticks to it.

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Posted in A father's POV, Caitlin the heiress, Ergonomics, life skills, Parenting musing, Parenting rules

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As role models..

Posted on 3 September, 2009 | 3 Comments

So how many of us realise; and how often do we remind ourselves, that whatever we do, say, behave, respond to situations, treat our own loved ones and other fellow human beings, we are being watched by the little kids around us?

Sometimes when I make a passing remark, opinion, upcoming event or plans, Caitlin would recount it hours later asking for clarification. For example, there is an upcoming party for one of our cousin’s buck’s night party, so the kids will have to crash at Grandma’s for that evening. Hot Mummee called up Grandma to tell her of this plan. Caitlin was within earshot (and conducted in Cantonese even). She asked me about it later, why we have to make her sleep over at Grandma’s.

Yes she understood the whole arrangement and asked about the event; when we didn’t think her Cantonese was even that good!

My point is, we are their one and only role model in their still-little universe. As they see how Mummee and Daddee behave, as adults, and especially as a couple, they will slowly and surely subconsciously form the opinion that this is the way an adult, and a couple is supposed to behave.

Sure, we hold our tongues when we are about to cuss something that pisssed us right off, make sure we either change the channel or that they aren’t around when inappropriate tv-content comes on, but what about everyday behaviour? The way we drive, cuss at other drivers (if one is so inclined), jump queue? (I get asked this by Caitlin sometimes, but luckily I am a patient driver and I explain to her that there is no queue, merely changing lanes; HM on the other hand…. ;)

Our parents are the first couple-role model in our lives. I “realised” this when I was reading a self-help book many years ago when I was personally going through some difficult times- I believe the book is called Conscious Loving. From there, one can either choose to emulate, or go almost-opposite against, what they see of this model couple. I guess, in looking around, there are those who don’t realise this, and kinda almost emulate this model couple later in their adult life. I am generalising here, but folks with broken-family backgrounds tend to have similar relationships or choose not to commit. On a less serious level, families that speak very casually and loudly, almost rudely to their elders, tend to “spawn” the same type of behaviour in their kids.

Just somethings I have been casually thinking about lately, as a parent…..

So how do you behave in front of the “younglings”?

* Sorry, this is the first photo I used for this blog that isn’t originally mine! Courtesy of www.makemymood.com

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Posted in A father's POV, A toddler's POV, Caitlin the heiress, Caleb the heir, Education, life skills, Parenting rules

Her first platform shoes

Posted on 19 August, 2009 | 3 Comments

At least I also think that’s what it’s called.

updownshoes

But just like Daddee being innocently ignorant about its proper description, Caitlin was referring to her new pair of shoes as the “up down shoes”.

Now you gotta really sit down and think about how she could possibly come up with a name like that. I did, yet still couldn’t work it out; where for a while we were both frustrated that we didn’t know what she was referring to.

Until I sat her down and asked her what up-down shoes.

And she went and got it to show me.

“Why did you call it the ‘up-down shoes’?”

She pointed to the heel. “See Daddee; up?” and pointed to the toe “Down”.

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Posted in A father's POV, A toddler's POV, Caitlin the heiress, Ergonomics, life skills, Parenting musing, Short post

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More tongue action!

Posted on 16 August, 2009

I was showing Caleb some of the videos I have taken; he does seem to like watching them too, and I kinda condone it ‘cos I remind him of who everyone is especially the relatives. Showed him the tongue action … Continue reading →

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More Galleries

Our Sunday afternoon…

Posted on 3 August, 2009 | 2 Comments

Woken by the kids, got them some morning snacks, and since it wasn’t too sunny and hot….

Luckily for everyone, Caleb actually likes to push from behind. But it won’t be long though, before he’d be wanting to ride.

Yes, they were still in their jammies. It’s Sunday okay- give us parents a break!

Evening came and it was time to get ready for bed.

Caleb can express his hunger quite audibly / comprehensibly now, by telling us “nan-nan”.

As you can see he’s quite comfortable on the beanbag. Quite a relief for all of us, since we don’t always have to be watching him when he feeds now.

Caitlin, on the other hand, was being rather cheeky about bedtime. Calls to her to go clean her teeth went unanswered.

We found her like this.

Now that’s one way of getting out of doing something. I gotta try that with Hot Mummee one day….

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Posted in A father's POV, A toddler's POV, Caitlin the heiress, Caleb the heir, Food & feeding, life skills, Parenting musing, Parenting rules, Short post, Simple pleasures

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