Category Archives: life skills

Life skills

Looking forward

Posted on 2 August, 2010 | Leave a comment

Caitlin was contemplative in the car this morning.

Will standard 1 also have gym class? (Like she has now in preschool)

What will they teach?

“PE”? What’s that? What did you do in PE?

What about when you were in standard 2, 3, 6, Daddee?

Gym, computer class, and the short swimming lesson, are weekly lessons that she looks forward to in school now, that I know of. I just hope that when she starts the Chinese vernacular school next year at a proper primary school level, that she will remain as enthused about school as she is now.

Probably because she is doing alright in her schooling and the social side of it. It’s no surprise that schooling will only be fun or at least tolerable when these main things are going well for kids, at any age.

Personally I have been through Chinese primary schooling. It wasn’t easy in that “capital punishment” was enforced, particularly when I wasn’t such a good kid to begin with ;) But I hear that it has since gotten tougher- that the workload has increased, and also that kids are better “protected” by their parents.

On the latter, in my day we were kinda on our own. If you were caned, you were caned for the right reasons. These days, I hear about parents turning up in schools protesting about “abuses” from their kids’ disciplinary actions. My view? These kids will learn that they can get away with more things now, ‘cos the school “fears” disciplining them. And where there are naughty kids, there will also be bullies. By boys and girls.

And on the former, I also hear of stories where kids can’t even complete their homework by bedtime…

I worry about these negative effects that may deter my kids from wanting to go to school to learn and socialise; especially when my kids seem to exhibit traits of strong-headed-ness. On the one hand they may be immune from bullies, and be popular instead, but of course these have to be from the right reasons….

It is as parents that we ensure they are. And for them to have something to look forward to all the time, at home and at school.

That means I gotta think of something for them to do this weekend!

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Posted in A father's POV, Education, life skills, Parenting musing

Learning to share

Posted on 12 July, 2010 | Leave a comment

iPhones can have games. Daddee has 2 kids. The 2 kids are of the ages now where they start to share almost similar levels of gameplay. They also don’t quite yet know how to share between themselves.

And Daddee has an iPhone.

You know the rest of the story.

So tonight Caitlin had a “brilliant” idea: “Daddee, why don’t you buy another iPhone, so that di-di and I don’t need to share, and we still get to play games?”

Whilst not quite a bad idea for a compromise / solution to an ongoing toddler-problem, it is of course not really feasible.

Lately most of my interaction with them have been to behave: to learn to share, “DON’T SNATCH!”, the concept of taking turns, and even empathy.

They argue, verbally fight, snatch from each other, the older jie-jie going “HMMPPFF” arms-folded, and lately tug-of-war over the object of desire.

As parents of more-than-1-kid would know, the younger one really only has the older one to look up to, and so when the older one misbehaves, the younger picks it up as possible acceptable behaviour. So most times I’d end up telling Caitlin off, which only makes her resent her di-di more.

So, I also need to get them to learn to treasure each other as siblings. One of the poignant things I’ve told Caitlin is that once mummee and daddee are gone, they are really only going to have each other as “family”. A bit harsh and many even a tad premature, but I think she got it.

So, while I do let Caitlin, who rides in the front with me when I send them over to school and my inlaws’, play with my iPhone during the car journeys, I do also have to make sure Caleb gets his share of time on the iDevice too. This is usually at home when I can watch that he doesn’t actually starts wiping out my contacts or calendar of appointments!

Of course, there’s also the Hot Mummee aspect, where she’s already laid down the law that there is to be no iPhone playing at all except on weekends- a whole new can of worms altogether!

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Posted in A father's POV, A toddler's POV, Caitlin the heiress, Caleb the heir, life skills, Parenting rules, siblings

Downside of being popular?

Posted on 27 June, 2010 | 2 Comments

Yesterday was (also) Caitlin’s school’s parent-teacher meeting.

Chief among the things that Teacher Rachel told me was that Caitlin is among the popular kids in her only-15-student class.

It’s not surprising really. Caitlin makes friends very easily. She approaches humans her height, greets them with her smile/grin, engages them in what they may be up to. She does also almost follow them around, which I have seen kinda freaks the new-stranger kids out. But as with kids her age (at least last year anyway), they talk to each other and go from there (becoming friends). One time we were out and she was already galavanting with these stranger-kids, and when I told her that we had to leave, she shouted “BYE FRIEND!” Obviously didn’t know their names!

Teacher Rachel, whom have had Caitlin in her class since 2009, has kinda watched her grow. She’s also shared with me that Caitlin likes to have friends, likes to be around people, does not like to be alone.

Therefore it is no surprise that Caitlin likes going to school. Her report card from yesterday showed that she had only missed one day in the total of 96 days so far this year.

The downside, however (I won’t say is typical but not surprising to me) is that she cannot be shamed or be put on the spot.

Because she is (or has to be) popular, she finds it very difficult when she is reprimanded when she is at fault- either forgetting her homework, doing the wrong thing, etc. Teacher Rachel also said that Caitlin is (therefore?) somewhat competitive. There is a particular girl that Caitlin is quite friendly with, with whom lately I hear stories about how they are competing. Whatever the friend is doing or has achieved, Caitlin seems to need to be one better.

… Sounds like she has obviously inherited these traits from Hot Mummee! But jokes aside, looks like I have my guiding-work cut out: To guide her on the positive side of being popular and competitive, but coach her on the negative aspects of these, such as negative influence / peer pressure, what “healthy competition” means, etc…..

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Posted in A father's POV, A toddler's POV, Caitlin the heiress, Education, life skills

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Do you admire your own child?

Posted on 6 June, 2010 | 1 Comment

I do. At my 5 year old daughter.

It’s not because she is my daughter, my own offspring. But this trait does make me rather secretly proud of her; that my own kid has this trait that I don’t think I had- have even, as an adult.

Already from the very early days of starting school she has exhibited a sense of steadiness by marching off to a duty expected of her. I am not talking about expectations of a child, I am talking about going off to face or attend to something unfamiliar.

From day one till now, she is my daughter in the car on the way to school. Upon reaching the school, she switches into- I might even call it- a “professional” mode. All serious and “business-like”. I always get out the car with her too, get her bag from the boot, and help her put it on on her side of the car. We’d then hug, where I’d say something like have a good day; see you tonite, etc. She’d be in her mode already: “Bye Daddee..” and turn to walk off towards the doors of the school, away from me, pony tail swinging side to side, without any need to look back toward me.

Personal time is over, time for the other face- the business face.

So far that’s been true. From the first day at school, first day at her extra curricular classes, her home tuition, going up to the waitress or distant relative asking for something. Okay maybe not so much those latter parts, but she does still go ahead majority of the time as we insist she does, when she is the one with a need :) (greeting her elders voluntarily, is another matter- of courtesy and manners :)

I am writing this as I wait for her to finish her art class; an extra-curricular activity which she enjoys. I did the same upon reaching the venue. “Bye Daddee” and off she went, going about getting things started (looking for her pad, getting and laying out old newspapers on the table).

I like it. It somewhat shows she is not needy, she knows (hopefully) that there is a difference between play and work, a time to be serious and a time to not be; at least in public in these contexts. I don’t think she is embarrassed to be seen hugging me (to then cut it short), but the above.

Wait till she is reaching her teens, I hear you say. Yes I know :)

I can’t say professionally I am of that “calibre”. I hope when her time(s) comes she will not be as wobbly-kneed as I sometimes still am when I’m about to meet some important people, for work or social :)

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Posted in A father's POV, Caitlin the heiress, life skills, The future

Preparing for failure

Posted on 28 April, 2010 | 3 Comments

I came home from work this evening and Caitlin came and greeted me; oily mouthed, as her and her grandparents were already having dinner. “She said she was hungry already, so we started dinner first”, said Grandma.

Caitlin then told me that she “came first today because I got the most stars.”

Apparently her school or class has this reward “system” where the “good” kids are given stars for various achievements. I’ve heard her say this a few times before; only yesterday she said she got a star for best (hand) writing. Stars could also be awarded for, presumably, best behaved, etc. She further offered that the girls were the ones ahead, “the boys are all at the back..” !

So tonight she tells me that she’s got the most stars in her class. Naturally I was quietly very proud of my little princess :D

After congratulating her and finishing up dinner, we went to chill for a bit in the living room. We talked about how her friend (whom she mentions quite often) came second; according to her.

I felt compelled to tell her or teach her some facts of life.

I told her that there may be a chance that someone else, possibly her friend; seeing as it looks like she wasn’t far behind Caitlin, may “overtake” her, that she may end up not having the most stars in her class anymore.

Obviously still basking in this glory, she didn’t seem to quite grasp what I was trying to tell her. “Why?”

“I’m just saying that it may happen that one day someone else may have more stars than you, and that you should be prepared if that happens..”

“What’s ‘prepared’?”

“Be ready for it; that you should be ready for if someone has more stars than you one day.. That you won’t be the first anymore..”

She thought about it for a while. “Why?”

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Posted in A father's POV, Caitlin the heiress, Education, life skills, milestones

Little shits

Posted on 15 March, 2010 | 2 Comments

So I was in The Gardens for dinner the other night, with Caleb, Caitlin, and our helper.

We were in the food court; there was/is a small corner near its entrance that has a play mat – you know those jigsaw foam thingies that assemble into a mat. Caitlin was already eyeing that when we entered, insisting to go play there even though there really isn’t anything there to play with- maybe only a small table and chair(s).

During dinner I had noted a couple of boys, very likely brothers, walking in towards their table, where their mum was already seated when we arrived. Presumably the boys had finished their meals and went out wandering whilst mum was still chowing down her meal. I noted their entrance because one of the boys was kicking his sneakers on the floor while he walked, making loud squeeks along the way….. brat.

It was after Caitlin and I had finished our dinner, and whilst our helper was still feeding Caleb, that Caitlin insisted that we moved over to the playmat. Okay what the heck, I thought.

So she was on the mat, Rather dirty one at that, playing for the sake of playing on a new someone-else’s-as-long-as-it’s-not-mine mat. The brats came over. One of them nonchalantly lay on the floor mat, not that far from Caitlin. Then the other lay down too. Caitlin didn’t think anything of it, continuing to reach for stray pieces to assemble on the floor. The younger brother grabbed some of the stray jigsaw squares pieces threw up in the air, probably hoping that it’d land on my daughter, and probably would continue throwing each time getting closer, just to get some kinda reaction from someone.

I knew this was going to be bad news. “Put your shoes on darling, we are going”. Not very reluctantly, Caitlin started getting her shoes on. It wasn’t really a fun place- these weren’t fun toys anyway; not because of these brats.

The younger brother, still lying on the ground / mat, started kicking the furniture; kicking and kicking that it started edging and pushing into Caitlin. Caitlin looked at me. She had a WTF look on her face- if 5 year olds can muster a WTF gesture that would be it.

I grunted at him. But- yup, you guessed it, he didn’t care. Like I wasn’t there, like it’s all fun and games still.

What he did next really took the cake. Earlier he had come over with a mouthful of ice, from his cup from the table where his mum was. Here, he took out pieces of ice from his mouth, and threw them across the court towards the far wall. If you were seated in that area you wouldn’t have missed it- the action of someone throwing something would easily catch your peripheral vision, if the smashing sound of the ice didn’t.

Repeatedly.

I saw this, and looked over to his mum. She didn’t care. I am sure she saw. I couldn’t believe it.

Another smash. I looked over to the mum again. She saw me. I looked over to her kids, and back to her, and shook my head. She looked away, arrogantly.

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Posted in A father's POV, Caitlin the heiress, Education, life skills, Parenting rules

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When he poops.

Posted on 20 January, 2010 | 3 Comments

This title certainly got you clicking :)

Everyone has their styles. Some hold their groins scurrying and yelling “I gotta go I GOTTA GO” while others do so subtly, yet while others (still) don’t tell you AT ALL that they have done it.

As far as a number 1 goes, Caleb won’t tell you. At all. Until you carry him and feel the wet diaper on your forearm, or when you discover the puddle of pee on the floor, while he is still running around being his 2year old self discovering and/or copying what his older sister does.

For his number 2′s however, is something I haven’t seen “done” before.

I understand everyone needs their privacy, whether it’s cos the poop is gonna stink, or that it’s simply because it’s the action of pooping. But for a 2 year old, what’s “privacy”? So it is with a lot of laughter of adorableness when we hear about, and then get to see, how my boy does it.

In private.

When you kinda suddenly discover him missing, you start to wonder whether he’s okay- but more often than not it’s because he has run to some corner of the room/house; preferably behind something, and pushing. It doesn’t matter if the pusher is 2 or 20 years old, I believe all humans push the same way. It becomes a lot more “funny” when it’s on a 2 year old boy. The same slight-squirm, the same red-face. Only standing up, hiding in some corner.

When we discover him “midway” he is somewhat apprehensive, don’t-come-any-closer kinda gesture. Dunno why. Perhaps at (only?) 2 he is starting to feel shame and embarrassment already. This idea is emphasised when I tease him (yes this Daddee teases his kids)- at any “usual” moment I’d look at him and say “Ngg ngg? Ngg ngg??” (the local baby talk for pooping; I think you can imagine how that term came about!) where he’d quite vehemently declare “Mai! MAI!” (which till today we are wondering whether he is trying to speak Hokkien dialect when most of what he hears is Cantonese where “no” is “moi”, not the Hokkien “mai”) as if the act of it is shameful.

Not that we make fun of him, maybe he is starting to develop his own self awareness and image (self respect?)

For now, I will still laugh at him. It’s okay if he develops a complex surrounding pooping. Having a complex surrounding pooping is okay compared to “performance anxiety” surrounding peeing, at the men’s room urinal.

Heh.

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Posted in A father's POV, A toddler's POV, Caleb the heir, Ergonomics, life skills, Parenting musing

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