I am kinda struggling with this one.

Caitlin, in general is sweet to her younger brother Caleb. Since she was able to walk, she’d been fascinated by other humans her size. So, I guess it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise that she is so, to her little brother.

However, having been the only child for her first 3 years, the first grandchild at HM’s family side (Caitlin makes the 14th grandchild on my side!) I dare say she is kinda “spoiled” in that she’d be used to being the sole attention-getter.

For myself, I have made a conscious effort to be conscious of how she may feel when this happens. Especially when relatives are “re-living” having a rugrat and who’s just learned how to walk, Caleb has been getting all the attention of “How cute!”, “Look how he likes to walk in circles / spins / tiny stamping feet..”, Caitlin has been “relegated” to be the second favourite.

Touchwood- so far she doesn’t seem to be showing any ill feelings towards her brother as a result. The only hint of jealousy that I can readily observe, is when either is holding onto a toy and the other will want it (yes, only when the other has it!), or when one is embracing Grandma, the other wants to rush over for the same… the same doesn’t seem to apply to Daddee though! Caitlin embraces Daddee and Caleb is like “Ho hum ah well now what was I doing again?”

When this happens, I try my best that the other also gets the “equal opportunity”; either by embracing both, getting them to share, or even a simple look over to Caitlin offering her a reassuring smile. She usually reciprocates with one too, which is always heart-warming for Daddee. One thing I gotta do reverse too, is that in the mornings and evenings Caitlin rides with me in the front, with Caleb in the baby seat in the back with the helper. I spend most if not all of that time chatting with Caitlin on just about anything, whilst Caleb is kinda left on his own ogling at the window to the world zooming past.

One thing that I am a little impatient waiting for, is for Caleb to soon understand and speak more for us to also rationalise with him, so that Caitlin is not always the one having to give in; which she does now “because he doesn’t understand; and you’re the jie-jie..”

But that of course also means that Caitlin will no longer be the 4 year old that she is now, and that Caleb would have outgrown his current Royal Cuteness…. sigh.

How was your experience with growing up with a sibling, either as a younger and/or older one? How did your parents manage your different characters?

I started this blog about 2 years ago now. Caitlin would have been about 2.5 years old then.

If memory serves me right, I would have already done this memorable (at least to me) routine with her already: HM was always working late, so it was up to me to tuck Caitlin into bed. At her bedtime, when we are both all cleaned up and lying on our bed, I’d whip out my Windoze PDA and run the slideshow of the mugshots of relatives I have saved as their respective caller ID.

We’d be lying in bed on our backs, and I’d run them for Caitlin to identify who they are.

“Yeh yeh..” (Paternal Grandpa)
“Nai nai…” (Paternal Grandma)
“Gong gong..” (Maternal Grandpa)
“Po po..” (Maternal Grandma)
.. and so on, on both HM and my side of the family.

Till today I still think that was a “nice” exercise. Our culture practises calling / addressing / greeting our elders upon meeting them. And this exercise familiarised Caitlin associating the “titles” to the respective relatives.

Caleb is 1.5 years old now. He has started calling the ones he sees everday.

“Gong gnng…. Po po….”

And yes, even “Dad-dee…” these days But alas, it wasn’t his first words.

So I reckon I’d soon start him on this exercise too. Only that I’d have to find a conducive environment; Caitlin had the luxury of being the only child at that time; now with Caleb, Caitlin being her usual cheeky self will actually be a nuisance for this…. I’d have to find a compromise somehow.

Anyway.

I see this view, and it never ceases to amuse / amaze me how the little human man can have such a “large” head on such slender necks

I have mentioned about his shifty eyes, looking at Daddee funny with an attitude, when he was only 6 months old.

Now he doesn’t look at me when I tell him off.

He’d sometimes take forever to finish his bottle of milk. 3/4 through and he’d stop, get off the sofa, wanders around for whatever / whoever. He’d look for HM, his jie-jie, or just because. He’d walk to walls and slap it. He’d come over and put his head on your lap and then rubs his face (nose) on it too, hands free.

Sometimes he’d stop the milk with “nn-more” accompanied by the “finished” hand gesture, as if you’d believe that the 3/4 bottle is empty; and proceed to get off the sofa.

Just because he can walk. At 17 months he is walking around, screaming demanding for stuff, stuff his jie-jie has just because she is holding it, screaming because his jie-jien snatches it back, screaming just because he has a voice. He’d also mumble. Sometimes imitating words he’d immediately heard uttered by the adults around him, sometimes it’s his own words that he’d used before, like that dah-den that seems to me to describe anything and everything in his universe.

I’d go over, carry him back to the sofa, sit him down and get down to his eye level, grunting “Finish your naan-naan!”

He’d look past me. At the tv behind me, at the wall behind me, at the shelf behind me. Just not at me. He’d move his head slightly, but it’s usually just the use of his eyes, no need wasting energy moving the head. No, don’t make eye-contact with Daddee, let’s drive him crazy a bit more. Ignore the bugger.

* Now I know what my mum went through, getting me to sit down and finish whatever it was I was supposed to do! And Caleb is not even 2 yet!

I was gonna say “It has begun”.. but you know it had already begun even before he turned 1! Ugh!

“Back in the day” when I was single and first started out having my own (bachelor’s) pad, I went and got myself a beanbag- a double seater beanbag, for bringing dates home, cook them dinner, maybe get them to watch a DVD with me on this beanbag hoping to lead somewhere *wink*

Somehow it was always only me on it, usually falling asleep on it watching the Discovery channel ALONE; finding out that it’s not really all that healthy for my lower back either. Even when Hot Mummee and I were dating, the double seater was never “used”. She always thought it was dirty, I guess ‘cos it was always on the floor and never really been cleaned. Heck she’d even tell me off about that when I do lie on it.

Never had two persons on it, until recently.

Tonight, the kids were on it again. Rolling, climbing, jumping and plopping themselves on it. Tonight however, was a little different: Either one of them had moved her/his head, and their heads connected- I think Caitlin got a bump somewhere on her face.

She starts crying (which usually means it must’ve been quite painful ‘cos she doesn’t cry much). Caleb sees her jie jie crying, he starts crying too!

HM goes and comforts Caitlin, since Caleb was just “reacting”. I think HM kinda tickled Caitlin, because Caitlin starts to smile, and starts giggling and laughing.

Yup, Caleb starts to laugh too!

It’s actually quite a funny/interesting “connection”. I would like to think that Caleb starts to cry simply because he hears another child in distress. But when Caitlin (then) starts to laugh, that he too starts laughing must also mean that the “contagiousness” of this works on both sad and happy too!

Not that I am complaining, just interesting. Also good that the two are indeed playing with one another. Just hope this keeps up, but that the snatching will stop soon- that Caleb starts understanding more and starts talking, so that we can be less one-sided than we are now with Caitlin having to give in 99% of the time “because he doesn’t understand yet….”

Funnily, Hot Mummee hasn’t really said anything about it being “dirty” for the kids. She’s always let them lie and roll around on it.

I think she knew my intention with the beanbag during those dating days. Darn it.

Hissychick blogged about this.

I had wanted to respond there with mine, but didn’t quite know which one to mention, until this morning.

Last night / wee hours this morning Caleb woke crying. Mind you his cries are a combo of wail and screams.

And kept on crying and crying.

And crying and crying and crying.

I did hear Hot Mummee trying to appease him.

But he kept crying and crying and crying.

Somewhere in there HM very loudly grunted at him (grunts is our current baby-talk version for scolding, since 15 month olds still dont know language; at least for this one). The grunt made him jump; I felt it.

And crying and crying….

Luckily sleepyhead Caitlin stayed asleep. She needs her sleep because she has been noted to be dozing off at school in the mornings.

This is my kryptonite because I get the shits from a grumpy Hot Mummee too. From her lack of sleep, and from the fact that she is a light(er) sleeper than I and thus wakes before me and resents me for it!

Caleb turned 1 in Jan ’09.

Today he did these….

And then, for the first time(s?) in his life, he stood!

The following pic was actually not the first time he managed to stand. That first time that he did manage to stand, we broke into cheers and applause that frightened him, and literally made him weak at the knees!

But it wasn’t long before he managed again!

Well done, son! Heh heh!

So, soon he will be a walking babbling little boy for the rest of us to chase!

DAh-DAH-DAH duh duh duh…nnnnnnnnnnnnnnn na-na-na….

Generally, do babies start walking first, or start talking first? I can’t remember this for Caitlin; I do remember that she started walking when she was still in her nappies with an external anti-wet shorts, similar to the ones Caleb is wearing above!

And.. a… ONE!

And.. a.. TWO!

And.. a.. Hey I am up!

And…OOPS!

Happy First Birthday, Caleb!

Soon you will be walking, and running, and we’d be chasing…..!

Here’s today’s short post direct from my iPhone..

“Hands many many” is the (local?) Chinese vernacular for kids who must touch everything they see..

I think we have one (in the making) in our household… See?

Is it that, while drinking from his bottle, while staring up at you, he widens his lips, shows you his 5-teeth, whilst still gritting the teat between his teeth?

Is it that, afterwards, while suppressing your urge to laugh at His Royal Cuteness, that you grunt at him to get back to concentrate (as much as a 10 month old boy can muster) on drinking thru his teat, only to have him do the whole flash-my-5-teeth-at-you all over again?

Or is it that, occasionally while carrying him, he’d make a hmm sound, and then you make a hmm sound too, and then he makes a hmm sound back at you, and then you make a hmm sound, and then he makes a hmm sound too?

Or is it that, in the wee hours of the night, when you sneak into bed the most quietest you can be, and he wakes, and you grumble and swear under your breath and pat his back to get him to go back to sleep, only to see, in the littlest of available light, the little bugger is grinning back at you?

Or is it that, when a lady is carrying him, he would, index finger only, hook the top of the carrier’s blouse, tug-pull a little, and peer in to check out her boobs?

No, I didn’t tell him off..
No, I didn’t scold him..
No, he wasn’t just crying..
No, he isn’t deprived of sleep..

He was just being himself, was happy rolling around our big bed before and after this shot was taken.

Honestly there was no abuse going on!

Daddee drifts in and out of sleep at his desk…
Daddee has started developing a headache by mid-morning…

Oh- sorry, did you call me?

An ongoing struggle…
He doesn’t seem to be breaking the habit…
3 nights in a row, he’s woken twice for feeds, and 3 times just because…
Or was it 4 times? It’s all a blur…

No! It was my turn last night; it’s yours now!
?? You sure?? Sigh.. okay then, I will feed this time….

Cry, so we check for wetness..
Cry, so we check for mosquitoes…
Cry, so I guess then he must be hungry… and that means another hour+ before going back to bed…

His older sister started sleeping right through the night at a very early age; for a while we thought he was starting the same pattern too, but alas…

But- I know I shouldn’t compare; they are different babies, different people…

I know I sound like a broken record; a scratchy, stylus pushed around broken record….

Sigh…

I told you he looks at his Daddee funny……

This week, actually for the past 3 weeks, Hot Mummee took it upon herself to craft her company’s business plan.

Apparently the company has never had one. In hearing her describe the sections that are to go in, it sounded more like an extended version of a company profile than a business plan; a 12 inch, very extended version, like a greatest hits remixed 5 times with new added sampling and the chorus repeated 13 times and the sonnets rewritten to include previous thrown-out works.

Why am I babbling? Because that’s what this business plan feels like. Hot Mummee has chosen to stay at home these 3 weeks, presumably under the pretext of non-interruption, to fully concentrate on getting this done. In my studies and (only 1 time) experience in writing a business plan, I have never come across the extent at which she is doing this for a business plan. She would be researching and scouring the net, looking for related news and industry and market trends, and would be analysing these and inputting them in her plan. This is in fact how a business plan ought to be written- that they should contain market (development) plans, but the extent she is covering this and other sections are, well; I shall reserve my comments.

Also, she would be drafting the document on her laptop, and using my laptop to access the neighbour’s unsecured wifi; sometimes retyping what she found on my laptop into hers simply because my super-duper computer has a far better wifi hardware/reception than hers- cannot copy-paste. Or she’d be referring to the researched numbers, and graphing them into charts…

Oops, babbling again.

So the downside of this is that this Daddee has had to do most of the overnight Caleb-feeding, because Hot Mummee has been slaving over this document until un-God-ly hours.

Which also means that in my spare time, I have been trying to catch up on my sleep.

And little blogging.

No, I am not complaining….

And I am holding her to her words, when she said to me on some not too long ago squinty-eyed woke me outta my sleep night, “Sorry dear, I will make it up to you when this is all over….”

Heh heh.

In other news (and I guess as a result?) I spotted Caleb sprouting an upper tooth already! But what gets us is this: Both the bottom two teeth are crooked, like they form a “v”, and now the first upper tooth looks like it is also coming out the same way.

Why? With my little knowledge of orthodontics or teeth knowledge, I would think teeth grew crooked because of overcrowding. That these being the first teeth and growing crooked already baffles everyone at home.

Also, the little man is already standing holding himself up on the cot’s railings. It won’t be long now before he is let loose on the walker!

I kid you not. This was what Caleb did a few days ago.

I was at work and Grandma called to tell me of this.

Apparently he was crying quite profusely. You know how at each Waaa… babies would then draw their breath for the next Waaa…? Well, he didn’t. So he turned blue in the lips, then in the face, and went limp.

Grandma had the shock of her life. She quickly stroked him, patted him on the body and face, and then Caleb woke up.

So, upon finding out this I quickly called Dr Pixie to tell her of this.

Is this a physiological condition?
An inherited condition?
A psychological condition?
Are there any dangers to this?
WHAT’S GOING ON??

Very calmly, Dr Pixie tells me that this is nothing new. Kids do this to get attention, to get things their way; that there is nothing to worry about.

The only thing she said was out of the ordinary was that Caleb is (already) doing this at such a young age of 9 months; my own niece / her own daughter did this once when she was 2.

She did say these words though: Do not give in to the boy’s demands. This is how kids become spoilt brats – they start getting adults to give into them and the trouble starts.

Most of the explanation and conversation revolved around behavioural attitude rather than anything medical.

You can imagine my astonishment at hearing all this. But then when I was hearing this explanation I was reminded of the saying about kids who “.. held his breath till he turned blue to get his way…” It all kinda clicked at the point.

I knew this boy was likely going to be a difficult child with that behaviour, but now with this incident, or shall I more accurately say, manipulative behaviour, we really have a troublemaker in our hands…..

I looked up the internet to research this. I did find a lot of the same things as what Dr Pixie said, plus more:

Here are some links which I visited:

http://www.baby-medical-questions-and-answers.com/toddler-discipline.html

http://www.baby-medical-questions-and-answers.com/child-behavior-management.html

http://en.allexperts.com/q/Pediatrics-1429/Crying-Toddler-1.htm

And at the end is an excerpt from the last link above.

What a scare! Other than that quote above, none of us had ever heard of anything like this before, what more a 9 month old already starting to try manipulating the situation and people. Grandma still doesn’t believe this and asked to recheck this “condition”.

In a lot of ways, it kinda shows that this could possibly be a very smart boy.

I only hope that this genius will only use his power for good and not evil…..! Well at least be on his parents’ side! He already looks at his Daddee in a certain way!

Breath-Holding Spells
What is a breath-holding spell?
A breath-holding spell is when your child holds his breath when he is suddenly injured, frustrated, angry, or frightened. Breath-holding spells begin between the ages of 6 months and 2 years. They occur only while the child is awake.
During a breath-holding spell:
• Your child may make 1 or 2 cries and then hold his breath in expiration until he becomes blue around the lips and passes out.
• Your child may stiffen and may have a few twitches or muscle jerks.
• Your child will breathe normally again and become fully alert in less than 1 minute.
What is the cause?
An abnormal reflex allows 5% of normal children to hold their breath long enough to pass out. Most children do not do this deliberately.
Holding the breath (when frustrated) and becoming bluish without passing out is such a common reaction in young infants that it is not considered abnormal.
How long does it last?
Breath-holding spells usually occur from 1 or 2 times a day to 1 or 2 times a month. Children usually stop having breath-holding spells by the time they are 4 or 5 years old.
Breath-holding spells are not dangerous, and they don’t lead to epilepsy or brain damage.
How can I take care of my child?
• Treatment during attacks of breath-holding
These attacks are harmless and always stop by themselves. Time the length of a few attacks, using a watch with a second hand.
During an attack, do not hold your child upright. Instead, he should lie flat. This position will increase blood flow to the brain and may prevent some of the muscle jerking. Put a cold wet washcloth on your child’s forehead until he starts breathing again. Don’t start resuscitation or call a rescue squad–it’s not necessary. Also, don’t put anything in your child’s mouth because it could make him choke or vomit.
• Treatment after attacks of breath-holding
Give your child a brief hug and go about your business. A relaxed attitude is best. If you are frightened, don’t let your child know it. If your child had a temper tantrum because he wanted his way, don’t give in to him after the attack.
• Prevention of injuries
The main injury risk of a breath-holding spell is a head injury. If your child starts to have an attack while standing near a hard surface, go to him quickly and help lower him to the floor.
What can I do to help prevent breath-holding spells?
Most attacks from falling down or a sudden fright can’t be prevented. Neither can most attacks that are triggered by anger. However, some children can be distracted from their breath-holding if you intervene before they become blue. Tell your child to come to you for a hug or to look at something interesting. Ask him if he wants a drink of juice.
If your child is having attacks every day, he probably has learned to trigger some of the attacks himself. This can happen when parents run to the child and pick him up every time he starts to cry, or when they give him his way as soon as the attack is over. Avoid these responses and your child won’t have an undue number of attacks.
When should I call my child’s health care provider?
Call during office hours if:
• More than one spell occurs each week.
• The attacks change.
• You have other concerns or questions.

Caution: Call a rescue squad (911) if your child has a different kind of attack during which he stops breathing for more than 1 minute or turns white (not blue).

“Daddee…. DADDee…. DADDEE….”

No, no; “Jie jie…. JIE JIE!”
(Yes, even Caitlin now understands the prestige that comes with this!)