Yes, I know this is overdue, so overdue that the fortnight of Chinese New Year celebrations are already over.

Just thought I’d share this lovely photo of my two lovely kids.

Grandma bought these outfits for them- trust her (and her taste) to find these treasures. The kids wore these on the first day of the new [...]]]>

Yes, I know this is overdue, so overdue that the fortnight of Chinese New Year celebrations are already over.

Just thought I’d share this lovely photo of my two lovely kids.

Grandma bought these outfits for them- trust her (and her taste) to find these treasures. The kids wore these on the first day of the new year. Never mind that Hot Mummee took forever to get them ready and was therefore late coming downstairs to greet and wish everyone- they looked fantastic and everyone ooh and ahh-ed.

Taking these shots of them wasn’t easy. As you can tell it’s not that easy telling a 2 year old boy to stand still, look this way, and smile, while at the same time telling his jie-jie to hold that pose and smile too, waiting for that opportune time of him.

During the few days we were at my parents’ house, one of the nearby neighbours had a lion dance come bless their new house. As this was already Day something-or-other, we weren’t dressed in our best (anymore); in fact it was still rather early in the morning and, well, my hair was still in a mess. Not to let the chance pass, I grabbed the kids and got into the car to search for the origin of the drumbeats.

It was just around the bend. There were scores of other neighbours already, keen to get a good angle of the performance. It was also rather sunny, but I insisted the kids get exposed to this once-a-year cultural performance. I grabbed a brollie and the kids, and started finding a good spot on the road, in the sun. The host auntie owner-of-the-house saw us, “Come! Come inside and watch! It’s okay!” And so we did. It was good timing too cos the crew was just about to start (I don’t know what I heard earlier then- must have been a rehearsal…?)

I found a corner of their living room to stand, a spot where we shouldn’t be blocking the dancing. I was holding Caleb, while Caitlin was beside my left thigh. Caleb hasn’t seen one of these before, being only 2 years old; while Caitlin should be alright.

The dancing started. The opposite of what I was expecting happened. Caleb was staring wide-eyed at the whole thing, poker-faced reactionless, taking in the whole noise of the drums and cymbals and the strange looking creature. Caitlin however was cowering, left thigh, right thigh, face buried in thigh.

Then the big event came. The 10-foot long firecracker was lit. Since it was rather crowded and we were boxed-in where we stood, I used my opposite hand to close Caleb’s far-side ear and pushed his near-side ear against my cheek, covering them from the loud popping of the firecrackers; we were after all only about 20 feet from it. They didn’t flinch, and in fact I think they enjoyed the suspense of it, hearing it and seeing it pop, red paper sprayed into the air by bright flashes.

When it was over, the owner-auntie came and gave all the children ang pau’s, mine included

I have said before that I envy Caleb’s head-shape: Cos this Daddee can never pull off getting a crew cut like this and still look “normal”, instead, likely to even get a chuckle from people at first sight.

This shot was taken under 30min of him having it cut. As you can guess, it was in [...]]]>

I have said before that I envy Caleb’s head-shape: Cos this Daddee can never pull off getting a crew cut like this and still look “normal”, instead, likely to even get a chuckle from people at first sight.

This shot was taken under 30min of him having it cut. As you can guess, it was in a major shopping centre. Here we are taking some snaps of the Chinese New Year decor.

Despite minor protests from Hot Mummee, I stand by my decision for this crew cut… And no, this is not a sign of things to come, insofar as fathers imposing their wishes onto their kids! IT’S ONLY A HAIRCUT!

Caleb turned 2 this January. But this post isn’t about him.

Last night I smacked Caitlin- the grab-her-arm-so-she-can’t-run-away smack; the night before Hot Mummee smacked her too.

I have had long car-ride talks with her about being the big sister to Caleb- [...]]]> Dr Pixie warned before that children reaching 2 will start to push the envelope with you.

Caleb turned 2 this January. But this post isn’t about him.

Last night I smacked Caitlin- the grab-her-arm-so-she-can’t-run-away smack; the night before Hot Mummee smacked her too.

I have had long car-ride talks with her about being the big sister to Caleb- she snatches from him, does dangerous leaps; how he looks up to her and mimics her not knowing right from wrong yet; and so, telling her that what he does is generally her fault (on this I had clearly highlighted both the good things he mimics as well as the bad things).

But last night she was just plainly defying me.

Hot Mummee says I have always been too lenient: I believe in a couple of warnings first. Last night she was pounding an inverted empty raisin tin like a drum with some of her colour pencils, her brother copying her. After repeated and increasingly stern pleas and warnings to stop “Because it’s noisy and you will break the pencils inside..”, she still went on with it. I took it away. She went to get it back. I took it away again out of reach.

Then she started playing with her plastic childrens-table, turning it upside down and crawling under it pretending to be a tunnel, her brother copying her, when he has already cleaned up in pj’s ready for bed. Pleas turned into warnings, not heeded again.

“I said no!”

” I said yes!”

I flipped: CHASED and grabbed her arm and whipped-smacked the back of her thigh.

She bawled. It stung my fingers for a while, which I am sure was the same on her fleshy thigh. I didn’t regret it. Repeated warnings warranted it.

“Don’t you talk back to me!” and reminded her about the earlier two let-go’s before I flipped.

And here’s the potential tear jerker:
Why are you more happy with di-di (younger brother) than with me??

Fine tight rope act and speech required here.

After insisting that she calmed down, I explained; as had Hot Mummee the night before. “We love you both the same, but you just plainly do not listen!“, “.. he listens to us..”, “..but he copies what you do, especially the bad things..”, “.. at 2 he is already very polite..” etc.

Sigh.

She is a smart kid. Quite bright, observant (that’s obvious from above), and at present somewhat requiring lots of guidance. We work fulltime, Grandma can only do so much. She is still okay with her studies, but it is this kinda in-discipline that is preventing her to start being able to read, at 5-turning-6 age.

Everyone has their styles. Some hold their groins scurrying and yelling “I gotta go I GOTTA GO” while others do so subtly, yet while others (still) don’t tell you AT ALL that they have done it.

As far as a number 1 goes, Caleb won’t tell you. At all. [...]]]> This title certainly got you clicking

Everyone has their styles. Some hold their groins scurrying and yelling “I gotta go I GOTTA GO” while others do so subtly, yet while others (still) don’t tell you AT ALL that they have done it.

As far as a number 1 goes, Caleb won’t tell you. At all. Until you carry him and feel the wet diaper on your forearm, or when you discover the puddle of pee on the floor, while he is still running around being his 2year old self discovering and/or copying what his older sister does.

For his number 2’s however, is something I haven’t seen “done” before.

I understand everyone needs their privacy, whether it’s cos the poop is gonna stink, or that it’s simply because it’s the action of pooping. But for a 2 year old, what’s “privacy”? So it is with a lot of laughter of adorableness when we hear about, and then get to see, how my boy does it.

In private.

When you kinda suddenly discover him missing, you start to wonder whether he’s okay- but more often than not it’s because he has run to some corner of the room/house; preferably behind something, and pushing. It doesn’t matter if the pusher is 2 or 20 years old, I believe all humans push the same way. It becomes a lot more “funny” when it’s on a 2 year old boy. The same slight-squirm, the same red-face. Only standing up, hiding in some corner.

When we discover him “midway” he is somewhat apprehensive, don’t-come-any-closer kinda gesture. Dunno why. Perhaps at (only?) 2 he is starting to feel shame and embarrassment already. This idea is emphasised when I tease him (yes this Daddee teases his kids)- at any “usual” moment I’d look at him and say “Ngg ngg? Ngg ngg??” (the local baby talk for pooping; I think you can imagine how that term came about!) where he’d quite vehemently declare “Mai! MAI!” (which till today we are wondering whether he is trying to speak Hokkien dialect when most of what he hears is Cantonese where “no” is “moi”, not the Hokkien “mai”) as if the act of it is shameful.

Not that we make fun of him, maybe he is starting to develop his own self awareness and image (self respect?)

For now, I will still laugh at him. It’s okay if he develops a complex surrounding pooping. Having a complex surrounding pooping is okay compared to “performance anxiety” surrounding peeing, at the men’s room urinal.

Heh.

Between my two kids, the one who seems to show more compassion is, surprisingly, my son.

Maybe because Caitlin has somewhat been spoiled being the centre of attention for the first 3 years of her life. Maybe she unconsciously resents [...]]]> *Jie jie means older sister in Mandarin, and coincidentally, also in Cantonese; just in different intonations.

Between my two kids, the one who seems to show more compassion is, surprisingly, my son.

Maybe because Caitlin has somewhat been spoiled being the centre of attention for the first 3 years of her life. Maybe she unconsciously resents the now-diverted attention to her younger brother. Maybe she just needs some coaching on how to be an older sibling- we certainly remind her how to be, all the time.

She bullies him, teases him, taunts him. She pushes him, on the pretext of getting him to move. These are not evil intentions, it’s just her playfulness overwhelms her supposed characteristic of being the carer as the older sibling. At 3+ years older than him, she is obviously more advanced than him, and therefore he mimics almost everything he sees her doing.

Yet he still adores his jie-jie.

Upon waking, after seeing me and Mummee, he asks for his jie-jie. Caitlin doesn’t ask for him when she wakes. He quite willingly goes over to hug her when we suggest so.

I was told of this story only this week: Caitlin was away in school. Grandma had some raisins or similar goodies for Caleb. One for Caleb, and one for Caitlin; where Grandma told Caleb that this was reserved for his older sister.

The boy held on to it as much as he physically could- as in not wanting to put it down. As much as he liked this goodie, he was saving it for his sister. When the time came to pick her from school (or when she arrived home) he rushed to offer it to her. “JIE-JIE, nah!” and sticks it out towards her.

Yes he does also wear some of his jie-jie’s hand-me-downs, even those in pink. Okay only in private, like pj’s.

So, since the tricycle is broken from regular wear and tear (I actually think it’s because Caitlin is [...]]]> Everytime Caleb’s jie-jie rides her tricycle or her training-wheeled bicycle he’d come up from behind and gladly be pushing her. Never has he asked to be riding it, even though he has Caitlin to see as an example.

So, since the tricycle is broken from regular wear and tear (I actually think it’s because Caitlin is growing and her weight actually broke the structure!) they’ve only been able to ride/push the bigger bike, which is left at my mum’s, on weekends when we visit.

Also, we thought since her jie-jie is able to ride around now, why not have the means for him to join her.

This is what we have gotten for Caleb.

It looks like a pretty interesting design- you’ll see that there are detachable handles that can be used for both pushing and guiding, assuming he doesn’t peddle too fast!

Caleb doesn’t know it yet, nor does he understand the concept of Christmas presents. I wonder if he wonders what they big wrapped box under Grandma’s tree actually contains!

It was also Hot Mummee’s birthday on the 21st Also, Yee yee [...]]]> For the end of Ramadhan month here in Malaysia, we had a really long weekend off work. Caitlin’s school, in fact, had the whole week off (they had a couple of Saturdays of school to make up for closing the whole week).

It was also Hot Mummee’s birthday on the 21st Also, Yee yee (HM’s younger sister) is also back from Hawaii for a month; and it’s also going to be HM’s cousin’s wedding this weekend!

So we had quite a few activities lined up in the last 2 weeks or so!

As a nice little “cheap” treat, I brought Caitlin for a swim in our pool downstairs (of the condo building). Off and on I have been taking her floats out of her swimgear the last few times we went for a dip- she is tall enough already and can stand at the shallow end. She really surprised me by “going under” (as she calls it) and even remembering that one time I tried to teach her to exhale through her nose. I was watching her submerging and blowing bubbles out of her nose and really enjoy exploring this new skill and sensations!

The other highlight was also the rare times that we as a family ventured outdoors together! HM’s not really an outdoorsy person, and with Caleb being still somewhat waddling, we don’t venture outdoors much. But being somewhat bored with the days-off, we contacted Moomykin and Cuddlyfamily to see what they were doing.

We ended up planning a picnic!

The kids had the most fun, whilst I enjoyed (not enough of!) Moomykin’s decadent potato and egg salad and Cuddlyfamily’s homemade cookies! Most of my time was spent watching over the kids; more so with Caleb and (possibly?) his first visit to a playground.

Oh, we had also bumped into See Ming (aka xmocha) and Sim and Max!

The picnic wasn’t as scary as we had feared (okay we are city folks after all). The dreaded rain held off just for us, where it had been raining every 12 hours or so the previous umpteen days regardless of day or night, and also the kids weren’t too much of a handful.

After the picnic morning HM, Yee yee and I, and their brother and some friends went for karaoke (don’t laugh- all are quite good singers and it’s also good stress relief!), followed by seafood dinner- it was after all HM’s day, and she got to choose which crab, and the cooking style to eat!

Sometimes when I make a passing remark, opinion, upcoming event or plans, Caitlin would [...]]]> So how many of us realise; and how often do we remind ourselves, that whatever we do, say, behave, respond to situations, treat our own loved ones and other fellow human beings, we are being watched by the little kids around us?

Sometimes when I make a passing remark, opinion, upcoming event or plans, Caitlin would recount it hours later asking for clarification. For example, there is an upcoming party for one of our cousin’s buck’s night party, so the kids will have to crash at Grandma’s for that evening. Hot Mummee called up Grandma to tell her of this plan. Caitlin was within earshot (and conducted in Cantonese even). She asked me about it later, why we have to make her sleep over at Grandma’s.

Yes she understood the whole arrangement and asked about the event; when we didn’t think her Cantonese was even that good!

My point is, we are their one and only role model in their still-little universe. As they see how Mummee and Daddee behave, as adults, and especially as a couple, they will slowly and surely subconsciously form the opinion that this is the way an adult, and a couple is supposed to behave.

Sure, we hold our tongues when we are about to cuss something that pisssed us right off, make sure we either change the channel or that they aren’t around when inappropriate tv-content comes on, but what about everyday behaviour? The way we drive, cuss at other drivers (if one is so inclined), jump queue? (I get asked this by Caitlin sometimes, but luckily I am a patient driver and I explain to her that there is no queue, merely changing lanes; HM on the other hand….

Our parents are the first couple-role model in our lives. I “realised” this when I was reading a self-help book many years ago when I was personally going through some difficult times- I believe the book is called Conscious Loving. From there, one can either choose to emulate, or go almost-opposite against, what they see of this model couple. I guess, in looking around, there are those who don’t realise this, and kinda almost emulate this model couple later in their adult life. I am generalising here, but folks with broken-family backgrounds tend to have similar relationships or choose not to commit. On a less serious level, families that speak very casually and loudly, almost rudely to their elders, tend to “spawn” the same type of behaviour in their kids.

Just somethings I have been casually thinking about lately, as a parent…..

So how do you behave in front of the “younglings”?

* Sorry, this is the first photo I used for this blog that isn’t originally mine! Courtesy of www.makemymood.com

As one of the *good examples of Caitlin as the jie-jie is setting, Caleb has also taken an interest in doodling too. [...]]]> If it weren’t for the plastic teapot that gives it away, you’d think (I hope) that he was going through and making notes of some of the white papers I had printed to read.

As one of the *good examples of Caitlin as the jie-jie is setting, Caleb has also taken an interest in doodling too. No that anything he’s “drawn” makes sense, but at least he’s getting the hang of holding a pencil.

Gotta watch him though, I have once caught him putting and chewing a red color pencil in his mouth. I had to warn the others in the house in case they Caleb has a bloody mouth! But I was pretty crossed with him.

*There are quite many which are bad examples set by the older sister, by the way.

When he first developed the fever on Sunday, we didn’t think much about it, only perhaps he’d caught something; maybe from his sister.

But you wouldn’t know it.

Caleb has been running around being his cheeky self, toddling around in circles at tv jingles, walking after HM when he sees her, playing and demanding the [...]]]> Caleb did.

When he first developed the fever on Sunday, we didn’t think much about it, only perhaps he’d caught something; maybe from his sister.

But you wouldn’t know it.

Caleb has been running around being his cheeky self, toddling around in circles at tv jingles, walking after HM when he sees her, playing and demanding the toys that Caitlin is playing (and Caitlin demanding it back). If you didn’t touch him, he certainly wasn’t showing any of the visual signs of suffering from fever.

Naturally worried, we took him to the nearby children’s clinic Tuesday evening- yup, it was already 36 hours since the fever started. The pediatrician kinda went “Yup, fever”, poked a spatula making Caleb puke on his floor, “Yup, sore throat, and stuffed nose too” and charged me RM80 for making us wait for him almost 3 hours (when we registered him we were told to come back in an hour. We did, and still had to wait our turn), and prescribed paracetamol and rhinothiol, two of which you can already buy from your neighbourhood pharmacy, and also what Dr Pixie’s already prescribed before.

Yesterday, Wednesday, his fever had subsided. Again, you wouldn’t know it because of his still normal (ie high!) level of energy. Last night in the lift on the way upstairs, HM was carrying him. He had knocked out- and I still thought Why not, he’s probably lethargic from the fever. I had noticed Caleb had rashes starting from his jawline going down under his pj’s collar. Since he was already asleep I didn’t endevour to examine him, and subsequently forgotten about checking him at all when he did wake for a while.

I made a conscious decision not to administer any more medication, since the fever was going away, and let his own defenses fight the other symptoms.

Today at work Grandma calls me and says the rashes seem to be getting worse. Since HM was mobile today, I left it to her to administer to the little man.

Tonite, after coming home from work and a work-related function, HM tells me that she had spent some time looking for another children’s clinic, and was about to go to a further suburb when Dr Pixie returned call (Dr Pixie’s hours were later in the evening, at the other side of KL, during very peak rush hour). Spoke to Dr Pixie about Caleb’s condition, and without mentioning beyond “Caleb’s got a rash and he’d just recovered from fever”, Dr Pixie correctly asked questions related to all the above conditions-

“Did he have fever for 3 days?”
“Yes…”
“Did he otherwise act all normal?”
“Yes..”
“The rash doesn’t seem to be annoying him in anyway, right?”
“No..”

She called it roseola infantum

Without reading all the contents of the above link to Wikipedia, HM says Dr Pixie said:

• that kids aged under 3 get it;
• there’s really nothing we can do;
• nor need to do, and
• it will go away eventually; probably also in 3 days.

Good thing Caleb left his mess on the dr’s floor. Honestly that was our second visit to that clinic with Caleb, both times the 2 different dr’s got their diagnosis wrong.

Showed him the tongue action of his jie-jie

He immediately copied what he saw!

And by the way, having the radio going all [...]]]> I was showing Caleb some of the videos I have taken; he does seem to like watching them too, and I kinda condone it ‘cos I remind him of who everyone is especially the relatives.

Showed him the tongue action of his jie-jie

He immediately copied what he saw!

And by the way, having the radio going all the time while I drive, Caitlin has taken a liking to this currently popular song.

From a personal perspective, a great deal of how I learned English was also from songs, and “breaking down” the lyrics so that I could sing along (I suppose one also has to like music and singing to learn English this way, even if it’s only in the shower!) So, I found this YouTube clip while I was looking online for the lyrics for Caitlin to sing along too, as well.

My little girl is bobbing like she’s in a moshpit now; well, gentle bobs anyway. Maybe I should have left it for her to work out the lyrics herself too?

Luckily for everyone, Caleb actually likes to push from behind. But it won’t be long though, before he’d be wanting to ride.

Yes, they were still in their jammies. It’s Sunday okay- give us parents a break!

Evening came and it [...]]]> Woken by the kids, got them some morning snacks, and since it wasn’t too sunny and hot….

Luckily for everyone, Caleb actually likes to push from behind. But it won’t be long though, before he’d be wanting to ride.

Yes, they were still in their jammies. It’s Sunday okay- give us parents a break!

Evening came and it was time to get ready for bed.

Caleb can express his hunger quite audibly / comprehensibly now, by telling us “nan-nan”.

As you can see he’s quite comfortable on the beanbag. Quite a relief for all of us, since we don’t always have to be watching him when he feeds now.

Caitlin, on the other hand, was being rather cheeky about bedtime. Calls to her to go clean her teeth went unanswered.

We found her like this.

Now that’s one way of getting out of doing something. I gotta try that with Hot Mummee one day….

Caitlin, in general is sweet to her younger brother Caleb. Since she was able to walk, she’d been fascinated by other humans her size. So, I guess it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise that she is so, to her little brother.

However, having been the only child for [...]]]> I am kinda struggling with this one.

Caitlin, in general is sweet to her younger brother Caleb. Since she was able to walk, she’d been fascinated by other humans her size. So, I guess it shouldn’t be too much of a surprise that she is so, to her little brother.

However, having been the only child for her first 3 years, the first grandchild at HM’s family side (Caitlin makes the 14th grandchild on my side!) I dare say she is kinda “spoiled” in that she’d be used to being the sole attention-getter.

For myself, I have made a conscious effort to be conscious of how she may feel when this happens. Especially when relatives are “re-living” having a rugrat and who’s just learned how to walk, Caleb has been getting all the attention of “How cute!”, “Look how he likes to walk in circles / spins / tiny stamping feet..”, Caitlin has been “relegated” to be the second favourite.

Touchwood- so far she doesn’t seem to be showing any ill feelings towards her brother as a result. The only hint of jealousy that I can readily observe, is when either is holding onto a toy and the other will want it (yes, only when the other has it!), or when one is embracing Grandma, the other wants to rush over for the same… the same doesn’t seem to apply to Daddee though! Caitlin embraces Daddee and Caleb is like “Ho hum ah well now what was I doing again?”

When this happens, I try my best that the other also gets the “equal opportunity”; either by embracing both, getting them to share, or even a simple look over to Caitlin offering her a reassuring smile. She usually reciprocates with one too, which is always heart-warming for Daddee. One thing I gotta do reverse too, is that in the mornings and evenings Caitlin rides with me in the front, with Caleb in the baby seat in the back with the helper. I spend most if not all of that time chatting with Caitlin on just about anything, whilst Caleb is kinda left on his own ogling at the window to the world zooming past.

One thing that I am a little impatient waiting for, is for Caleb to soon understand and speak more for us to also rationalise with him, so that Caitlin is not always the one having to give in; which she does now “because he doesn’t understand; and you’re the jie-jie..”

But that of course also means that Caitlin will no longer be the 4 year old that she is now, and that Caleb would have outgrown his current Royal Cuteness…. sigh.

How was your experience with growing up with a sibling, either as a younger and/or older one? How did your parents manage your different characters?

If memory serves me right, I would have already done this memorable (at least to me) routine with her already: HM was always working late, so it was up to me to tuck Caitlin into bed. At her [...]]]> I started this blog about 2 years ago now. Caitlin would have been about 2.5 years old then.

If memory serves me right, I would have already done this memorable (at least to me) routine with her already: HM was always working late, so it was up to me to tuck Caitlin into bed. At her bedtime, when we are both all cleaned up and lying on our bed, I’d whip out my Windoze PDA and run the slideshow of the mugshots of relatives I have saved as their respective caller ID.

We’d be lying in bed on our backs, and I’d run them for Caitlin to identify who they are.

“Yeh yeh..” (Paternal Grandpa)
“Nai nai…” (Paternal Grandma)
“Gong gong..” (Maternal Grandpa)
“Po po..” (Maternal Grandma)
.. and so on, on both HM and my side of the family.

Till today I still think that was a “nice” exercise. Our culture practises calling / addressing / greeting our elders upon meeting them. And this exercise familiarised Caitlin associating the “titles” to the respective relatives.

Caleb is 1.5 years old now. He has started calling the ones he sees everday.

“Gong gnng…. Po po….”

And yes, even “Dad-dee…” these days But alas, it wasn’t his first words.

So I reckon I’d soon start him on this exercise too. Only that I’d have to find a conducive environment; Caitlin had the luxury of being the only child at that time; now with Caleb, Caitlin being her usual cheeky self will actually be a nuisance for this…. I’d have to find a compromise somehow.

Anyway.

I see this view, and it never ceases to amuse / amaze me how the little human man can have such a “large” head on such slender necks