So we had Caitlin first before we had Caleb. It’s a 3 year 2 months gap between them.

Boys mature slower than girls. This is quite evident; individual personalities and characters aside.

When Hot Mummee was pregnant the first time, I had quietly wished that our first one would a boy. This isn’t a tightly-held preference, just thought it’d be good to have a big brother to the rest of the brood. Of course when Caitlin was born, I love her just the same.

And as she grew, we’ve been enjoying her growing years and all the usual toddler antics that you know comes with children. A lot of fun and treasured memories there

Now that we have Caleb with us too, and with the 3 year gap, I find myself quite often comparing the kids. Not in bad ways of why-cant’-you-be-like-Caitlin complaints, just the wonders-of-human and how everyone is different types of observations.

Most recent of these are how when Caitlin was Caleb’s age now, she was already very independent. I had modified her cot so that she was already getting in and out of her “bed” by herself- how I enjoyed watching her little cute toddler body climb limb over one another in her mini pyjamas with the bed. She was also toilet trained very early. I remember giving her praises in the mornings when I changed her to find her diapers dry. These days I am still reprimanding Caleb when he pees in his pants. I do sing praises too when he urgently tells me he needs to pee, and, while on the toilet seat he would exclaim “No piak-piak right dad?” (No spanking right dad?)

So with Caitlin- girls, generally growing faster, I find myself noting that even with the 3 year gap that it is beyond that “measure” in terms of the gap between these 2 monkeys: That they are more than 3 years apart in terms of intellect, skills, maturity, etc. Though I correct myself in that Caleb is a lot more advanced even for his own age with his motor skills in the sports department. He’s still a happy-go-lucky kid while his jie-jie has already entered the age of moodiness. She is also starting to enjoy older things, sometimes citing “so booriiing” statements typical of older kids on younger ones.

So then I started wondering what things would be like if indeed we had a boy first, and then a girl. Would the “gap” be smaller than 3 years, in terms of their maturity? Would they actually get along better than present differences, because they are possibly closer in maturity levels?

So sometimes Caitlin would ask to buy a strip of candy, like Mentos or Sugus. She tells me that she shares them with her school friends- I believe her. No doubt she may keep one or two more for herself but I think the fact that they generally finish so quickly is some kind of proof for this daddee that she does share them

Last night on a quick visit for some fresh milk I thought that a pack of Ribena sweets was okay for her. It was in a shiny packaging anyway; she didn’t miss it either. If the packaging is to be trusted it does contain vitamin C after all (or am I a marketers sucker-dream come true?)

So this morning on the way out to school and grandma’s respectively I was helping make sure that she does bring it along to school. Since the pack of 20 itself is rather large and didn’t quite fit into Caitlin’s uniform pocket, she passed it to me to carry in my shirt pocket.

Caleb saw.

That jie-jie was carrying something must be something I’d want too.

That she insisted Daddee carry it must be something I’d want too.

That is was also shiny must be something I’d want too…

“I WAAANT!”

This is where Hot Mummee’s complaints about my being biased may be justified. I didn’t want him to have one now because he’d just woken up. He hadn’t had anything to drink yet (water) let alone his morning milk- to have candy as “breakfast” or at least the first thing to eat isn’t quite an activity or habit I’d like to instil in the kids.

So what did Daddee say to discourage him?

Infront of Caitlin, I said to Caleb: “It’s medicine..”

Yikes.

She’d never questioned me at all or smirked at me. But I think I had done a bad thing. I could have said he could have one after his milk and insisted jie-jie shared one with him. But I didn’t. I could have simply said “Later” too, but I didn’t.

So now, Caitlin has learned a “skill” that I didn’t want her to know yet. She may well start applying this to other areas to fool us too, with the topic or severity growing as she does.

Oops.

iPhones can have games. Daddee has 2 kids. The 2 kids are of the ages now where they start to share almost similar levels of gameplay. They also don’t quite yet know how to share between themselves.

And Daddee has an iPhone.

You know the rest of the story.

So tonight Caitlin had a “brilliant” idea: “Daddee, why don’t you buy another iPhone, so that di-di and I don’t need to share, and we still get to play games?”

Whilst not quite a bad idea for a compromise / solution to an ongoing toddler-problem, it is of course not really feasible.

Lately most of my interaction with them have been to behave: to learn to share, “DON’T SNATCH!”, the concept of taking turns, and even empathy.

They argue, verbally fight, snatch from each other, the older jie-jie going “HMMPPFF” arms-folded, and lately tug-of-war over the object of desire.

As parents of more-than-1-kid would know, the younger one really only has the older one to look up to, and so when the older one misbehaves, the younger picks it up as possible acceptable behaviour. So most times I’d end up telling Caitlin off, which only makes her resent her di-di more.

So, I also need to get them to learn to treasure each other as siblings. One of the poignant things I’ve told Caitlin is that once mummee and daddee are gone, they are really only going to have each other as “family”. A bit harsh and many even a tad premature, but I think she got it.

So, while I do let Caitlin, who rides in the front with me when I send them over to school and my inlaws’, play with my iPhone during the car journeys, I do also have to make sure Caleb gets his share of time on the iDevice too. This is usually at home when I can watch that he doesn’t actually starts wiping out my contacts or calendar of appointments!

Of course, there’s also the Hot Mummee aspect, where she’s already laid down the law that there is to be no iPhone playing at all except on weekends- a whole new can of worms altogether!

I wrote about kids and iDevices recently about how adaptive they are with technology.

I had just hooked up the PS2 this morning, after promising Caitlin I would this weekend; since her uncle had given her the Bee Movie game. She’s been bugging me to hook it up for a while now.

Now, you know that iDevices are much newer technology than the PS2, and even then the PS3, given the more advanced console the controls are still the same.

After I hooked up the PS2, Caleb had a go.

He couldn’t get it to work- he was physically tilting the controller left and right to get Barry Benson to move around.

Why? Because he’s so used to the iPhone’s accelerometer to steer!

Okay you had to be there!

Given that previous post about how quickly Caleb could already handle a “soccer” ball- I couldn’t resist getting him this

Would you do it?

I took the kids for a swim again this morning. Yesterday’s experience tells me that they enjoy hanging around underneath the simple man-made waterfall at the other end of the pool, where there are two major streams and some trickles like heavy rain falling onto the pool from about 4 feet above water. WIth Caitlin’s cossie that houses the 2 front and back floats on, I could focus most of my attention on Caleb who doesn’t have any floats yet; at the deeper end of the pool of 4.5 feet (?), at the grounds of our condo.

This morning, while enjoying the sensation of water gush-falling onto our heads, I looked around and saw that, in between the plastic grating of the pool’s perimeter drain, were a pair of bird wings sticking out. A pigeon-sized bird too.

Yuck, a dead bird. I thought. Better get out of here soon, alert someone to rid of it before it gets septic and get into the general pool water.

I pointed it to Caitlin, justified that we can’t / shouldn’t stay much longer ‘cos of germs from a dead animal. I also didn’t want to just leave it there. So I thought to leave these 2 kids as brief as I could in the 1.5 feet baby pool, which is actually just next to the waterfall, and try to rid of the carcass myself without leaving them alone too long.

After shifting them there, I soon found a stick at the nearby BBQ pit, and went back to try and fish the carcass out.

As I shifted the gratings to widen the gap for easy access, the bird moved / jerked.

I tried and positioned the stick under its feet, hoping that it would at least make it easy for both of us to lift it out of the water. But that first movement was the only movement I saw. Clearly it was already nearing death.

I can only imagine that it fell into that bit of gap with its wings up and above its body, unable to get up and out. With most of its body submerged in water in all that time; possibly also its head, it is clearly already dying from exhaustion and being in water for so long, for a bird.

It tried to open its eyes but obviously too exhausted; mustering maybe an inhale every second- I don’t think birds breathe that slowly in general.

Pinching one of its wings and supporting the rest of its body on the stick, I fished-lifted it out, and placed it in the shade under some nearby bushes. I thought of putting it under the sun for quick drying, but that may actually make things worse.

At least it wasn’t a decomposing bit of animal polluting the water, I thought, and the kids are kinda safe in the water.

But what about the poor animal?

I personally didn’t and don’t have the heart to put it out of its misery, much less infront of or for the kids’ knowledge. But the poor animal clearly will not make it, and is suffering.

I pointed Caitlin to where the bird lay (under the bushes near the baby pool where they were), and said that it will likely die soon, and pouted my lips at her. She was sad too, but not too much, and remarked that it’s okay, the mummy bird can make more baby birds.

Not much of an animal lover, I see.

But back to the bird- what would you have done about it?

That’s a description I had heard my bothers describe of me earlier, when i was fooling around and followed them to the driving range one evening.

They said I have a good swing, only it lacked the whip of the wrist, that my swing is too rounded and even. Otherwise, I do “feel” it too that the swing is not-bad

I think I can now justifiable use that on Caleb.

Earlier this year, probably not long after his 2nd birthday, we were already kicking a miniature basketball around inside the house. Caitlin, by comparison, sometimes still misses kicking the stationary ball, let alone decide which direction the ball will roll!

Caleb has always been able to center the ball, in terms of placing it squarely infront of him, and then actually kicking it straight to me. Not a bad feat for a kid his age; even my older brother (who is quite athletic himself during his day!) says so.

This morning, while waiting for lunch to be ready, we were again kicking the ball around in the living room. I decided instead of the usual to-and-froing, that I’d mark him soccer style.

Ball steals left and right, getting him to dodge in the same directions half a second later only to find the ball missing, and chasing after Daddee who is dribbling the ball away. Mind you for a 2.5 year old this is all new tricks for him to see and observe. At least it was all giggles and not cries of having the ball marked and stolen from him.

A short 10 minutes or so later old-man Daddee already had to sit down. But what does he find Caleb doing?

He is actually dribbling soccer-style behind the ball! The kid’s actually picked it up from just 10 minutes before!

Granted the living room isn’t very big, but he’s managed consistently to maintain just behind the ball, toe-tapping it 2-3 times as he ran after it before reaching the end of the living room, reposition, and start again the opposite direction!

Maybe I should expose him to golf next, and let him turn pro! Nothing wrong with soccer, just that as a professional career golf is a lot longer! This Daddee can be his manager and go on tour with him!

Oh, and yes- those are still his water-proof training pants!

Brain? Heart? Plastic?

This was from Caitlin’s doctor’s set

Caitlin had to be in school early today, for an excursion to the zoo. Their chartered bus would have to leave at a time when we are usually only leaving home, effectively some 20-30 minutes out.

So there was an idea for Caitlin to spend the night at Grandma’s, since it’s so much closer to school and not risk missing the bus- which is departing earlier than when we leave our own home.

So, the previous night, only Caleb came home with us.

I wasn’t the only one feeling somewhat “empty”. 2 Year old Caleb waved goodbye to his jie-jie when we left Grandma’s, yet kept asking “Where jie-jie? Where?” most of the night. Our usual routine at that time of day is for them to chill out, usually with Playhouse Disney on the tube, and they are either or all of lying on the beanbag watching, or making small projects with the scrap paper we collect (colouring, making makeshift toys like wands, pretend-anything), or having their last milkies for the day.

Caleb pretty much had to do most of these alone. In fact he was almost subdued on this night, only mainly watching the tube from the beanbag.

He obviously takes the lead from jie-jie, which obviously leads to other behavioural “problems” when jie-jie hasn’t exactly been good! More to come on this!

I recall I used to do this to my mum as well when I was this age. Kinda also recall driving her crazy too.

You feed the 2 year old a mouthful. And he keeps it there. No movement, no chewing, no swallowing. It’s J U S T T H E R E in his mouth. Take away his entertainment (which is usually a DVD of Bee Movie or Ice Age or some such) and he’d start bawling, mouth agape, effectively showing you the contents or objects in discussion here.

What the hell do we do?? He won’t chew, or (I think more accurately) forgets to chew. Threaten to take away the uneaten portions and he objects verbally and very audibly. Put it back, 5 seconds later, it’s back to forget-to-chew. He’s probably already no longer hungry, else he’d be chowing down the food. But he still has to finish up the food cos, well, it’s prepared, and he just has to finish it!

But wait a second: I think I used to to it to my mum way after 2 years old, else I wouldn’t be able to recall it. Does that mean that Caleb will be doing this for more years to come??

Yup, Daddee came home with some surprise gifts for us….

Since jie-jie already has a pair, now I have one too!

ROCK ON, DUDE!

That’s what the kids call it.

My camera and iPhone can take videos- videos of them, generally, on the bike, monkeying around, trying to capture their growing years. Often I’d play it back for them on my laptop- they do like to see themselves in action, over and over again. I think somehow along the way, in their own respective years and development, they’ve grasped the idea that these are recorded images of themselves, and others- moving pictures of people of past events, captured and able to playback.

Folks would know that I have been away from home for a few weeks. I have been using Skype to video-chat keep in touch with Mummee, and generally remind the kids that they still have a Daddee, and that Daddee really really misses them.

Caitlin has used this “service” before, when Mummee was away. This time she and I would chat quite happily after she gets over giggling that Daddee is now inside a small box on Mummee’s computer screen.

It would be a wonder for Caleb, however, that suddenly Daddee, in these moving pictures of him (albeit only a headshot of him) is suddenly able to respond!

Aren’t these moving pictures supposedly a captured series of past events? How is it that Daddee is able to talk to Mummee, jie-jie, and I?? I remember Daddee saying bye-bye, and now he’s suddenly trapped inside this small box? Inside Mummee’s computer??

He does say “Hello Daddee”, as per instructed by Mummee. And I’d respond “Hello Caleb”. We’d be doing this repeatedly, because, well, he doesn’t really have much to report unlike his jie-jie. No- he did try to tell me once over video-chat that he fell and hit his head….

Now, I am wondering if the next time he sees more moving pictures on my laptop, that he’d try and get the attention of the people inside…

Yes, I know this is overdue, so overdue that the fortnight of Chinese New Year celebrations are already over.

Just thought I’d share this lovely photo of my two lovely kids.

Grandma bought these outfits for them- trust her (and her taste) to find these treasures. The kids wore these on the first day of the new year. Never mind that Hot Mummee took forever to get them ready and was therefore late coming downstairs to greet and wish everyone- they looked fantastic and everyone ooh and ahh-ed.

Taking these shots of them wasn’t easy. As you can tell it’s not that easy telling a 2 year old boy to stand still, look this way, and smile, while at the same time telling his jie-jie to hold that pose and smile too, waiting for that opportune time of him.

During the few days we were at my parents’ house, one of the nearby neighbours had a lion dance come bless their new house. As this was already Day something-or-other, we weren’t dressed in our best (anymore); in fact it was still rather early in the morning and, well, my hair was still in a mess. Not to let the chance pass, I grabbed the kids and got into the car to search for the origin of the drumbeats.

It was just around the bend. There were scores of other neighbours already, keen to get a good angle of the performance. It was also rather sunny, but I insisted the kids get exposed to this once-a-year cultural performance. I grabbed a brollie and the kids, and started finding a good spot on the road, in the sun. The host auntie owner-of-the-house saw us, “Come! Come inside and watch! It’s okay!” And so we did. It was good timing too cos the crew was just about to start (I don’t know what I heard earlier then- must have been a rehearsal…?)

I found a corner of their living room to stand, a spot where we shouldn’t be blocking the dancing. I was holding Caleb, while Caitlin was beside my left thigh. Caleb hasn’t seen one of these before, being only 2 years old; while Caitlin should be alright.

The dancing started. The opposite of what I was expecting happened. Caleb was staring wide-eyed at the whole thing, poker-faced reactionless, taking in the whole noise of the drums and cymbals and the strange looking creature. Caitlin however was cowering, left thigh, right thigh, face buried in thigh.

Then the big event came. The 10-foot long firecracker was lit. Since it was rather crowded and we were boxed-in where we stood, I used my opposite hand to close Caleb’s far-side ear and pushed his near-side ear against my cheek, covering them from the loud popping of the firecrackers; we were after all only about 20 feet from it. They didn’t flinch, and in fact I think they enjoyed the suspense of it, hearing it and seeing it pop, red paper sprayed into the air by bright flashes.

When it was over, the owner-auntie came and gave all the children ang pau’s, mine included

I have said before that I envy Caleb’s head-shape: Cos this Daddee can never pull off getting a crew cut like this and still look “normal”, instead, likely to even get a chuckle from people at first sight.

This shot was taken under 30min of him having it cut. As you can guess, it was in a major shopping centre. Here we are taking some snaps of the Chinese New Year decor.

Despite minor protests from Hot Mummee, I stand by my decision for this crew cut… And no, this is not a sign of things to come, insofar as fathers imposing their wishes onto their kids! IT’S ONLY A HAIRCUT!

Dr Pixie warned before that children reaching 2 will start to push the envelope with you.

Caleb turned 2 this January. But this post isn’t about him.

Last night I smacked Caitlin- the grab-her-arm-so-she-can’t-run-away smack; the night before Hot Mummee smacked her too.

I have had long car-ride talks with her about being the big sister to Caleb- she snatches from him, does dangerous leaps; how he looks up to her and mimics her not knowing right from wrong yet; and so, telling her that what he does is generally her fault (on this I had clearly highlighted both the good things he mimics as well as the bad things).

But last night she was just plainly defying me.

Hot Mummee says I have always been too lenient: I believe in a couple of warnings first. Last night she was pounding an inverted empty raisin tin like a drum with some of her colour pencils, her brother copying her. After repeated and increasingly stern pleas and warnings to stop “Because it’s noisy and you will break the pencils inside..”, she still went on with it. I took it away. She went to get it back. I took it away again out of reach.

Then she started playing with her plastic childrens-table, turning it upside down and crawling under it pretending to be a tunnel, her brother copying her, when he has already cleaned up in pj’s ready for bed. Pleas turned into warnings, not heeded again.

“I said no!”

” I said yes!”

I flipped: CHASED and grabbed her arm and whipped-smacked the back of her thigh.

She bawled. It stung my fingers for a while, which I am sure was the same on her fleshy thigh. I didn’t regret it. Repeated warnings warranted it.

“Don’t you talk back to me!” and reminded her about the earlier two let-go’s before I flipped.

And here’s the potential tear jerker:
Why are you more happy with di-di (younger brother) than with me??

Fine tight rope act and speech required here.

After insisting that she calmed down, I explained; as had Hot Mummee the night before. “We love you both the same, but you just plainly do not listen!“, “.. he listens to us..”, “..but he copies what you do, especially the bad things..”, “.. at 2 he is already very polite..” etc.

Sigh.

She is a smart kid. Quite bright, observant (that’s obvious from above), and at present somewhat requiring lots of guidance. We work fulltime, Grandma can only do so much. She is still okay with her studies, but it is this kinda in-discipline that is preventing her to start being able to read, at 5-turning-6 age.