Monthly Archives: February 2011

Dreaming my dreams of you..

Posted on 27 February, 2011 | 1 Comment

Had a weird dream last night. Wonder if it is my subconscious expressing my not-so-hidden concerns.

In my dream I could recall real-life memories of skyping with my kids. I could recall the blurry image of them in the chat window, how I could still make out Caitlin’s missing two front teeth.

Then, still in that dream and with that “knowledge” or memory, I approached the Caitlin in my dream.

She was already a grown teenager, my height, bearing a full set of adult teeth. She was also dressed in her school uniform. She didn’t speak, just smiled lots.

Typical of my dreams (that I could at least remember) I was running around a lot, asking what’s-this/what’s-going-on questions. Particularly (mainly because I didn’t see anyone else) asking Hot Mummee this. She nonchalantly ignored me/my questions, went about her usual staring at her laptop. I recall I kept saying “But she was always only this tall”, holding my hand to my sternum, palm down. In the dream I even asked HM if Caitlin had even gone through puberty yet.

Cut to another scene; you know how dreams are.

There was me, the current-sized Caleb, and one other character in the foreground. We were near an open window.

Caleb proceeded to swiftly walk-climb to the open window, and fell out!

I peered out over the ledge; it was only a ground floor window, and he was faced down in a drain.

Cut to the next scene I was already outside. I picked him up, and sat him on the ledge of a flowerbox wall next to the drain. He was sobbing quietly. “Where ouch-ouch?” I asked, brushing dirt off his body. He points to a few joints here and there.

Then I woke up.

They say you can really only remember the last dream you had just before waking, forgetting the earlier dreams you have had from your whole sleep.

I think there are obvious underlying themes here, in my current conscious state of mind.. :-/

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Posted in A father's POV, Ergonomics, Just saying, Parenting musing, The future

Will the gifts be cherished?

Posted on 23 February, 2011 | 1 Comment

You are walking around window shopping and you see something you like.

And you thought Hmm I think my kid will like it too.

So you buy it. You bring it home to your kid(s). You give it to them. They go “WAAaah! Thank you Daddee” and proceed to play with it not the way you’d like it to be!

I have had toys, stationaries, cards, even my own toys, not played with “properly” (“properly” in this context is of course relative. What’s a little crashing of the remote helicopter, dirtying of a pair of perfectly white shoes, pressing too hard of the new colour pencils, or even creasing of a nicely made origami??)

I have come to accept that, however much you like the item yourself, and thought your kids might like it too, you have to “surrender” to the fact that they may not think the items is as great as you do, and not cherish or look after it as well as you might yourself!

I have seen the gifts that my parents bring for them after their trip overseas. My mum has bought Caitlin kiddie handbags before. Not that Caitlin trashes them- she does use them and store things in them and carry them around. But after a while, new broom sweeps clean, something new and better comes along and she forgets about this new item.

After giving this some thought, I should make it a point to highlight to them the effort that people have taken, to pick out the gift after giving the kids some consideration (that people are thoughtful of them), the money involved in buying it, and the whole idea of not wasting things.

.. Cos I have just bought them something too ;)

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Posted in A father's POV, Just saying, life skills, Parenting musing, Parenting rules

School and bullies, just saying.

Posted on 21 February, 2011 | Leave a comment

So the time will come when my 2 kids will be moving to Australia too- starting at a new school, and starting school, respectively.

Especially for Caitlin, she will have to readjust to another new school, after having completed the last 3 years in pre-school to start primary schooling this past January- at a new school, new friends, new syllabus- new everything. When she comes, she will be the new kid in an environment where her peers are no longer unfamiliar like newbies anymore.

I just hope that that will be the only thing she will have to cope with.

I recall during my first year in boarding school in Australia, albeit I was already 15; there was a senior who was, for some reason, watering the lawn outside the dorm. I was walking in his direction to go in. He thought it was funny to raise and aim the hose at me. All I could do was shout “STOP IT”. Through the spray I think I saw him laughing. It didn’t last long- he decided to stop. I didn’t know what to do, could do. I just continued on my way.

There was another time when a girl-classmate did the slanty-eyed thing on her temples and thought it was funny uttering “Look I can’t see through my eyes” to the other schoolmates; who didn’t think it was funny. I Just ignored her. I think she got expelled- she was of that character anyway.

Incidentally, a year after that, a genuine friend actually asked me how I really do see through these eyes! I appreciated his honesty, but I guess he needed a(nother) lesson in eye physiology and the physics of light :) I don’t think I have small eyes anyway!

So when my kids come, I just hope that adjusting to the new school will be all they need to worry about. I would tend to think that between my time in the mid-80′s to now, kids today are more “multi-cultured” and that if any bullying it wouldn’t be race-based.

That they would only need to find out things that are idiosyncratic to that school. Hmm I used a big word correctly.

It’s quite cool that local schools are starting programs such as this. This article reminded me of what Annie Fox has been writing about bullying. We are not affiliated; I follow her on twitter because she talks about parenting on a professional basis.

I think programs like this is also double-edged in that they probably make a leader out of the older child. The whole “taking care of the new/weak(?)”

Just saying.

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Posted in A father's POV, Education, Just saying, life skills, Parenting musing

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Absence makes the heart grow..

Posted on 15 February, 2011 | Leave a comment

Yes this Daddee is away from home.

Back in the days when I was away from home during overseas studies, we would rely solely on this almost A4-sized paper that was folded 3 times over and licked to seal.

Then when I was at uni, I was astonished that this thing called electronic mail that lecturers used to share notes, was able to go beyond the campus’ gateway and into my sister’s work inbox in Singapore.

Of course in between there was phone calls to chat, usually kept very short because of the costs of the call.

Texting was only available after my graduation and returning to Malaysia, and ICQ much later after that.

These days, we have this thing called Skype and Yahoo messenger where not only could we chat over voice, we could also see each other; and if this Daddee has his way (soon?), maybe this thing called Facetime as well ;)

So anyway, Daddee is away from home. Caitlin knew full well days before my departure what the implications are; something I will come back to another time. But after almost a week away and video-chatting nearly everyday, I sincerely hope the kids are coping with my absence. They are staying with their grandparents who, with all due respect, are not as energetic as I am insofar as bringing them out to the parks, goofing around with them outside or on the floor, role playing with their toys, taking them for a swim.

In the video-chats Caitlin does save her comments for the day to share them with me. She would, albeit only very short and unfocused, share with me some thoughts or activities, or questions from something from her day- which I thought is nice. But she would naturally also ask when we’d be together again… In all, I still think that this is better than nothing at all, or at least what it used to be with me. Then again this is a 6 year old who can’t write well yet to correspond any other way.

Caleb would come on too sometimes, but most times he is more fascinated with seeing himself on the monitor and make faces just to see what it looked like on screen. He knows I am there, and we exchange greetings too, but that is really all we- I, can do for him at this stage.

So, I think they are coping okay for now; I wouldn’t say they are coping “well”.

At least from my perspective…

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Posted in A father's POV, A toddler's POV, Caitlin the heiress, Caleb the heir, Short post