.
In the dark we chatted quietly- Caleb was sleeping soundly only 2+ feet away on our super king size bed.
We talked about her day, in school, what she learned, whether she went during the day, if it was hard, “Did you drink enough water?” and her diet.
Then it was time to sleep ‘cos it was getting late. I urged her to stop talking already and gave her a quick kiss on her cheek- this kid can really talk. She rolls over, as she does when it’s time, hugging her pillow and clutching her bolster between her legs.
So, the almost-whispers have stopped. I lay beside her waiting for her to doze off, waiting to sneak out.
Then she turns to me and says “Daddee, I am sad.”
I am sad is usually a welcomed opening line for Daddee. Not because I like her being sad. It’s because of the flipside to the I am sad- It’s her way of opening up to me, her way of sharing her concerns, of what’s been bothering her. That she does share with me.
Previous I am sad’s have included Grandma telling her off for something she’s done, or something more serious like being bullied in school, or simply missing a friend and cannot wait to see her again the next day in school- Yes, can you believe it?
This I am sad however, was different. It was accompanied by a soft but escalating cry.
On the day before I was given a party pack by my colleague, whom had hosted a party for her niece earlier, and had a spare pack. In it were some small pieces of chocolates. When I came home I had given Caitlin that pack, and had only given her one piece of chocolate for her to bring to school.
At school, she gave her chocolate away to her (same) good friend.
She is sad not because she had given the chocolate away to her friend during school. She is sad because she gave away, or effectively, lost her chocolate, that she no longer had a chocolate to enjoy.
Where she moped about losing her chocolate, I was kinda proud that she was somewhat, to an extent, selfless. This, from a kid who really really enjoys food; and moreover- candy, and giving it away just like that, came as quite a surprise for me.
But I guess it’s been on her mind all day, and was regretting it!
So I comforted her, words like “don’t be silly” slipped out and I tried to cover it by reminding her of the other smaller pieces still around, and that she should remember that she made her good friend very happy too.
Caitlin insisted on wearing her goggles whilst doing her homework… whatever gets her going I suppose…
5 responses so far ↓
1 Ann // Jul 17, 2008 at 9:13 AM
I can quite understand your ‘joy’ at her “I am sad” statement. Good that she has learnt to at least share her joys and sorrows and not keep them inside!
It was indeed a selfless act and she ought to be proud of herself! maybe reward her with a nicer bit of choc today?
Anns last blog post..WHAT WAS THE POINT?
2 Daddee // Jul 17, 2008 at 9:51 PM
Yeah I was proud-ish of her selfless act. And I did remind her of the other piece still in the fridge.
I wonder now when I will see such an act again!
3 toddlerdaddy // Jul 17, 2008 at 10:26 PM
Isn’t it amazing how selfless kids are, and also how they ‘feel’ everything so deeply. I don’t know sometimes whether we do them any favours in teaching them to dull these feelings. Sure they won’t suffer the lows, but they may also miss out on a lot of the highs.
I can though also relate to some of the inner guilty joy of your daughter telling her that she is sad because it means a ‘share’ moment in on the way. Of course tonights share moment was our daughter confessing to me the reason she was sad this morning is because not all toilet water is blue, and she only likes the blue water – but still, I guess it counts.
A big *hug* for sad kids everywhere I say
toddlerdaddys last blog post..Big Bum Band
4 Daddee // Jul 18, 2008 at 11:58 PM
Well, she shared her noodles with me tonite; that, being a totally voluntary gesture from her, was another surprise, especially that her favourite food is food.
She did get a big hug, of course after her mouth’s been clean of the soy sauce and grease…
5 Moomykin // Jul 24, 2008 at 2:14 AM
Micah’s sad bit comes still when he talks about having to leave me to be in school.
With tears in his eyes and voice all chocked up,
“Why do you want me to be in school? Because you love me?”
“Yes, because it’s good for you and you can learn more things and grow.”
“But I miss you when I’m in school. How about you come be a teacher in my school?”
…..
He cries when he thinks of people he loves and misses, like when we were in Jakarta, he missed his grandparents and said with a broken voice that we should bring them along next time.
Moomykins last blog post..Well, I…Zzzzz
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