A relative was recently in town from Penang. He has 3 boys ranging from 10 years old (primary 4) to 2 years old; but on this trip the eldest one did not come along.
We had dinner, and I asked how long he was in town. “Not long; we are here mainly as punishment for the 10 yr old- that he wasn’t allowed to come along…”
Apparently, the punishment was for his appalling school exam results, where he only got something like 40% score.
I asked if the punishment is working- whether he has called (from his grandparents) crying or pining for them. He can’t comment yet whether it is working. “Their understanding of the punishment is one thing. The challenge of them remembering the punishment is another…”
Do you think this “punishment” fits the “crime”?
Would you agree with the understanding vs. remembering comment?
How would you tackle this poor-school-performance issue with your child?
I do not agree. In fact I strongly do not agree.
I reckon the love of studying is the duty of the parents to inculcate. And then the child has to be helped and sat down with to study.
Reckon if I got this kind of punishment, I wouldn’t mind not doing well just so mummy and daddy can leave me alone! UNLESS grandparenst are a nightmare??!!
Anns last blog post..Would you ever?
Thanks Ann.
What if the boy would really really have loved to come along / visit KL and his cousins (whom you saw in the picture in an earlier post)?
What the?!
I must be missing something here but that is way over the top to me. I realise that there may be cultural differences when it comes to study and schooling…but to leave a child behind from a holiday seems plain cruel to me.
Getting 40% doesn’t always mean that you haven’t studied hard enough. What if the child had simply been having a bad day, and had panicked under the pressure? Or hadn’t understood the topic because it had not been taught well?
And let’s not forget that the child in question is only ten years old.
The punishment could very well backfire too. Next exam the poor kid could be so panicked about failing to meet expectations that they were unable to think clearly and fail anyway.
I am so glad I was never ever put under this kind of pressure by my parents. And let’s just say I did rather nicely in my years of formal education- I was dux of my school and got the highest mark for my honours thesis in my course….
hissychicks last blog post..Not laughing, crying.
Thanks Hissychick,
You may be right that it may be a cultural thing, that (perhaps?) most Australian parents would never dream of leaving their kid(s) behind whilst on holiday, just to serve as a punishment.
I think within a culture itself there are still big differences between families. I for one probably would not do this either, however safe s/he will be whilst left behind (with the grandparents, for eg).
I sat for a while wondering if I would ever be so mad as to dish out such a punishment.
Family is always first in priority. Maybe I would forfeit his time on the internet/TV or to ground him from hanging out with his friends after school. These may be more effective so that he’d have more time to work on his studies.
p/s- While mulling over this I also realised the threats I have been making on the boys, usually late in the night when they refuse to sleep…I have to watch my words more carefully now.
Moomykins last blog post..A Hint of Heaven
Hot Mummee sometimes scolds Caitlin with “..otherwise I will (ask Daddee to) stop the car by the road and you can get off!”
I sometimes wonder what goes on in her head upon hearing this. At this age they will take everything literally…
Whenever Micah misbehaves in the car grandma says that too. But I usually counter that with the threat him to leave him, but not by the road alone. Rather at a police station or if near our house, to get the security guard (or police, if at said above) to send him home. Hahaha…
Moomykins last blog post..Going, Going, Gone!
i just found you here.
actually, me aaa, not so much the grade. but what does the kids do before the exams. if he (you know i got all boys) keep playing and playing and never complete his homework, then when he got the “poor” marks, definitely that deserve some sort of punishment, by my booklah. but if it’s evident (evidence based … sounds familiar ) that he did the effort yet still score low, well, i hv a different set of medicine for that.
anyway, that’s my way.
ninuks last blog post..Apa lagi kalau bukan pasal bola …