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Over at navel gazing at its finest, Sue related how the whole blogging about parenting & their kids could be becoming too public, that most blogs have resorted to giving their subjects (ie, the kids) nicknames to “protect the innocent”; & how she herself is thinking about the same as well for her own subjects.
In this post she’s also linked to a blog post that shared the more serious repercussions of being too public, & also that the subjects may already be old enough to object to being blogged about.
The whole discussion revolved around privacy. How much should we share about our kids? What kinds of kids photos should we publish for the world to see & even rip-off for their own use?
I was late in the blogging scene for a reason. I didn’t think I had anything to say to the world (I should say I didn’t have a reason!) But I did fool around with the free Flickr. However, soon after signing up & posting a few photos, I was quickly aware that these photos were too easily shared.
Becoming a father was / is a big plus in my life. Honestly. I actually feel more passionate about this than my own career. I wanted to take this passion forward to see where I can go with it. A few cluey friends have jested that I should look at parent-related content development (Hey, I am after all in IT!).
I subscribe to a few father-related blogs- to catch up on the goss, to “benchmark” how I am doing as a father, to perhaps share some problems to solicit various options / answers on how different guys would tackle them. It’s just struck me that Dad Balance is one of the latter of the abovementioned blogs. As a blog, the theme of Dad Balance is one that advocates striking a balance between fatherhood & career / work. The author, Derek, talks little about his (presumably already in their) teens. All I know is that Derek has two boys. (I guess it’s obvious why I read this blog- it is both on parenting and career).
I didn’t have a strategy when I started this blog. But I did know that I cannot share information that are too intimate; for security’s sake, for privacy’s sake. You will also notice that the photos I use are all mine (at least for the moment!) & that they were carefully chosen not to be too easily identifiable, or that they are simply too dated (she grows so fast!)
So where am I going with my own blog? As with the second-mentioned blogsite, there may come a time when Caitlin will understand what I am doing & object to it too.
I am hoping by then that I, as a blogger, would also have matured & that my topic / theme has evolved too. Perhaps by then I will be talking from a parenting angle rather than specifically about Caitlin, that my writing style is more grownup like the way big people talk & the way (gasps for air) the clever people who write the colourful books & biiiig books & why (gasps for air) the bananas always knocking into each other saying “Are you (gasps for air) thinking what I am thinking, B2?” (on taking this blog forward!)
It is hard I think when you are so passionate about something and want so much to share that it doesn’t get at least a bit personal!
But I admit your challenge to give the best and yet remain general is one that you should embrace with all earnest.
Write on and hopefully if it becomes a tad personal all readers will only use it in the positive light!
I know a friend who had to change her site coz she was being “stalked” (not sure if it’s physically or virtually, etc.) and quite a few abroad will use all kinds of nicknames for security sake. But I was also warned by another friend to be careful about revealing too much personal info., esp. about geographical locations.
I actually started out, and still do, blogging for the sake of a record for my kids as well as for myself (like how some people keep those baby record book) that we may in future look back and see what it was like for them as kids and for me as a relatively new mom. I never even thought about any readers beyond my own friends who would be interested in how we were growing as a family, and I was very nicely surprised by you and Ann!
Thanks for the mention in this post!
When I first started blogging over at my personal finance blog, I didn’t even use my name at all and did not disclose any personal information. As the audience of that blog was much more on the personal level, I decided to branch out with a site using my own name as the domain. Even with that, I have really tried not to share too much information about my wife and kids, including names and pictures of them - even their ages (btw, both of my boys are under the age of 10 so no teens yet).
It is a delicate line to walk with regard to how much you disclose on your site. It is probably wise to err on the side of caution as once the information is out there it is darn near impossible to remove it.
Thanks all for your encouragement.
I just read that the site I mentioned has recently changed all the names of the family members… Must have still been a major undertaking using the “find-replace” function!
I think I will continue to practise what I have been doing- obscure photos & almost-real names. You can never be too careful I reckon. Using-this-info-for-kidnapping is a reason that quickly pops into my paranoid head, at the moment.. Do I portray an image of abundant wealth / ransom money??
However, one of the key reasons why blogs are popular is because it is a “connector” of humans, & that connection is an emotional one, be it humor, warmth, etc. And to evoke these, the blogger has to be personal, & relate personal info (events, experiences, etc)
Derek is right, it is a fine line.
This is exactly the reason why I’m late on the blogging scene. The internet is amazing and wonderful, but like all technology, it offers new means for the criminals and bottom feeders of our society to find victims.
It is so hard to strike that balance between personal and informational.
Cautiously blogging foward….;)
Hi Writer-mommy,
You are right. In my blogs I like to show some photos of what I am talking about, but have generally resorted to choosing ones that are not all that clear of the subjects, again to protect the innocent….
So far I think it is “working”, in that no one has been able to identify anyone yet. But that could just be that I don’t have that many readers!
Again I am late to comment, but even though this post is a week or so old I just wanted to thank you for writing it. It is something we all have to think about at times and I for 1 use a mix of fact and fiction and no real names to remain anonymous. But that is as much so my kids don’t have yet another reason to claim I have embarrassed them as them as they get older (my bad jokes should be humiliation enough for them by then).
Thanks ToddlerDaddy.
Moomykin likens her blog to a “journal” of her kids’ development/childhood, for them to read when they are older. For me for now, it’s for learning & sharing the experiences…
But I can imagine even that alone is enough for the then-older kids to have the same sentiment as what you have described. They may prefer not to let the world read what they were up to while growing up…
But while we can, we will!