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In terms of character I’d have to say Caitlin is generally a pleasant kid. You’d see her smiling more than not, greets strangers in the lift & surprises them further by wishing them goodnight unprompted when it’s our floor to get off, waves to the guards on the way in/out of our apartment block (she gets slightly inquisitively-upset when they don’t wave back).
Other than these & the trips to the shopping centres, she’s really not socialised a lot, especially with humans of similar size. Due to other commitments for the coming months, we will only start her on pre-school around 2nd quarter next year.
We do have a young-couple friend (whom I have mentioned a few times here, the young entrepreneur) who has a little girl a little under a year older than Caitlin, Tyanna. We do catch up nearly every weekend because, well, everybody has fun when we get together, young & (no we are not) old.
Relatively, Tyanna is a little softer than Caitlin. I should rephrase that: Caitlin is a bit of a bully, relatively.
Upon meeting, the adults would exchange greetings as adults do. The kids go wild upon seeing each other (I’d hate to see them as teenagers). Then the trouble starts.
Both are (at the moment) only-child’s. For these, or whatever other reasons, the kids tend to become competitive. Tyanna, being the older one & thus has been going to pre-school & other toddler activities, has more skills & exposure in terms of ideas for imaginary play.
Caitlin, however, can sometimes (surprisingly?) be the dominant one.
Standing her ground
I found this pretty funny! (Sorry Sam & Mircle, if you are reading this!):
Tyanna: This is my daddy (touches her daddy)
Caitlin: No, he’s not (I don’t know where that came from)
Tyanna, starting to show stress: This IS my daddy
Caitlin: No, he’s not
Tyanna, starting to tear: THIS IS MY DADDY
Caitlin: No, he’s not
Tyanna starts crying!
Caitlin watches with mouth agape, I’ve-never-seen-this-event-before look.
The elevator button
They both rush to the up/down buttons. If Caitlin gets there first, she’d swipe her arms from overhead downwards to “shoo” Tyanna away. If she knew how to, I’d say she would’ve pushed her playmate instead.
Toys
Visiting a playmate’s home means other people’s toys. Caitlin would claim ownership of them. Of course as parents we’d correct & explain that this isn’t the case & cannot be so. Still, when sharing isn’t practised by both sides, Caitlin isn’t usually the one who breaks down.
Admittedly, I do ashamedly feel a little proud of this trait. Don’t get me wrong, I would be the first to reprimand this brat should she turn out to be the bully that we understand the term to imply (mental images of visiting her headmaster’s office come to mind!). What I mean is: It is likely that she will not be bullied so easily, as a person / adult; that she will likely stand her ground & not be a push-over.
But still..
Of course we’d reprimand her where she is wrong. But here’s the crunch: Mummee & I have differing parenting styles.
How do you reprimand or teach your child when these happen?
For me, while I have spanked her before, I did it in the privacy of our own home. Thus, I do tend to bear in mind & avoid the “shame” factor. At 3 yrs old they are starting to develop the sense of self-being, which includes embarrassment, a rather fundamental basis for other self-related emotions.
Too much embarrassment as punishment & (I think) the child may develop some kind of complex about herself. Too long the punishment (ie go stand / sit in the corner) & the effect or reason for the punishment may be forgotten while dwelling on the current “suffering”. Too “impactful” the isolation (stay sitting in the corner, everyone don’t look at her, Daddee [Caitlin's fave human on earth] go ahead with your plans [to leave the building] without her) & she may feel abandoned.
Am I simply overreacting?
Next: Terrible Two’s: The Good (finally!)
This all sounds familiar.
I usually remove my daughter from the area (time-out) and take away whatever it is she’s crying over.
And then I tell her that monsters will eat her legs when she’s sleeping if she doesn’t start behaving.
It must be working because she has trouble sleeping at night.
Thanks Creative-type Dad, I see where your little girl gets it from!
my son dutch is also 2 and at this age they tend to think the world revolves around them. he’s currently in daycare so he’s used to being around other children, but he will still try to push the limits with them and be a bully at times and he’s very bossy!
he tries this same behavior with me and my husband and we simply can not let it fly. (he’ll tell us to ‘be quiet’ ’shut up’ and a whole slew of other things!!) yes, it hurts to have to discipline your child, but in the end it’s all about teaching them right from wrong. and you definitely don’t want a defiant teen on your hand who is so out of control because you failed to take control earlier on.
my son is VERY strongwilled and independent and although we love those qualities about him, he needs to know there are boundaries and things we will just not accept from him.
Thanks, mama’s got moxie.
Caitlin has also interjected adults’ conversations before with “I AM TALKING!” where we’d immediately snap back at her with “Excuse me?? What did you say?”
She knows she’s wrong, so immediately she’d apologise. But of course then we do let her say what she needs to say, however (un)important it may be to us adults; lest she feels neglected. Usually after getting whatever it was off her chest, she’s off in her little world again…
Micah used to yell, “Everybody stop. I want to talk.” The he forgets what was it he wanted to say. Lol.
But these days, we will tell him it is rude to do that and that he has to learn to wait his turn, or at least say excuse me. It’s slow to catch on.
We also try to use words like kind, gentle, wait and “magic-words” (please and thank you) in our instructions everyday. The thing that really drives me crazy is his boundary and authority testing. So the 2 phrases he gets an ear full of these days are:
If you don’t listen to instructions, you’ll get hurt;
and
If you don’t follow instructions you get nothing.