I found this PDF poster on a parenting “coaching” site- Breakthrough Parenting Services. I am going to find a colour printer, & put up this poster on the fridges of my inlaw’s & my own.
In a nutshell, the poster is advocating positive reinforcements of a toddler’s behaviour.
I am happy to say that, instinctively, my “style” of persuading Caitlin is positively reinforced (!) by these experts on parenting. An example of this is in getting Caitlin to start using the carseat a while ago.
When we got the carseat home, I had placed it on the ground & made a fuss to my little girl like “Wow, look! you’ve got a special seat all for yourself!” & encouraged her to try it out by getting on & off (since it was on the ground, if she was apprehensive she’d get off easily) & practised putting on the seat belts.
As a reader’s comment coined it, I created the “hype” around the use of the carseat, effectively creating a positive reinforcement of that behavour. Other times I have also hands-over-head-”Yay!” & or applauded when Caitlin does something amazing (like finish a singing a whole song) or on-her-own-initiative put her toys away / say thank-you / count from 1-10 in Mandarin (we speak only English to her at the moment)…
I guess this concept isn’t too far off from Drucker’s management techniques??
Let’s just hope, however, that I don’t cultivate an always-looking-to-please-Daddee attitude in Caitlin!
My boys learnt early to applaud themselves when they do something well! How about that?!
But the car seat is always a challenge. Until today I have to sometimes “battle” Micah into his car seat and remind him “Safety first.” Max is only OK in the car seat if I am sitting at the back with him. Only once we put the 2 boys in car seats at the back on their own – and I was feeding them ice-cream from the front seat! It was good for Mommy to be with Daddy in front – after a very long time.
We were pretty lucky that neither of our kids have ever fought the car seat but your point applies to so many different things.
That poster is outstanding and I think I will be printing off a few copies for my wife and myself as well. It will come in handy for homework time as that has started to become a bit of a struggle with our oldest at times.
Personally I am a big fan of positive re-inforcement (with the odd time out when necessary). The funny thing I find with our toddler is that she has started to use positive re-enforcement in her own self talk.
I constantly hear her saying things like:
‘Good Girl, ‘You can do it’ and ‘It’s alright’ (a favorite when climbing something for the first time).
She ahs even started to use it on us – so it must be a good things
> Moomykin
If I recall, there was someone sitting with Caitlin at the back when she started with the carseat.
These days when I am driving I have the rearview mirror fixed on her. Partly cos I can then see what she is up to (hopefully not trying to get out of the seat midway thru the journey) & also that there is at least some eye contact between us when we talk.
> Derek
I still haven’t been able to find a colour printer!
> ToddlerDaddy
To me that sounds a lot like the beginnings of self esteem & confidence! Well done!