Michael Jackson in my childhood memories

by Daddee on June 29, 2009

The passing of Michael Jackson. It didn’t really hit me much when I heard this news- I was driving to work in traffic when it came on the radio. After all he’s been out of the limelight in recent years, only within the last few months that he’d announced a comeback with (kick-off?) concerts in London.

It only hit me when the radio stations started playing tribute to him by airing a lot of his music.

When Beat It and Biliie Jean was all the rage, I remember it was also the time when there was this controversy over the song Maniac from Flashdance’s soundtrack, and my introduction to the word “lucah” (obscene). Being the young’un I was then, I was more fascinated / engrossed in MJ’s music and his wow-ness and not really understanding / didn’t yet have the hormones over what the fuss was about with that other discussion in the local media.

I recall there being a behind-the-scenes show as a run up to that year’s (was it 1983?) Grammy Awards where it also included the full clips of Billie Jean and Beat It, Every Breath You Take, and Maniac too; and where the tv station “apologised” over the obscenity of that Maniac song by re-airing that program censoring Maniac. I also remember reading a letter-to-the-editor citing the lyrics being so inappropriate, in a local newspaper.

How times have changed.

Being the only child left at home with all older siblings overseas, and that there was no real entertainment at home after school (local programs stank), that run up show was all I watched, on tape. I was never into the Chinese serials that my parents watched; nor were they the type that “chased” new episodes as soon as they arrive on our shores.

I made my group of friends in very junior local high school learn the Thriller dance moves because I wanted to perform at the school concert / dance. It never happened, because the teachers couldn’t (wouldn’t?) fit me in on their program for the night. Nonetheless, I had already studied and coached the guys the whole music video’s moves.

I would be so embarrassed of myself now, about myself then…

I also recall how the media and industry were pitching MJ against Prince and the Revolution; the same time when DeBarge and other high pitched wannabe’s came on the music scene. MJ was still the man though, even with high pitch he had gusto in his voice. The others were just “soft” singing.

I never liked Prince. Mainly cos he was the bad boy and I had always wanted to be the good boy in the adults’ eyes. His image was also kinda weird for me; puffy shirts and floral references. The girls in school loved him though, as girls do with badboys- it’s probably because I didnt like him that the girl whom I had a crush on didn’t like me.

Stupid Prince.

I also recall how my Bahasa teacher said MJ was a pondan, and how I felt like there were ants in my pants then, because I liked MJ EXCUSE ME HE’S DE MAN YA BALDING OLD MAN WHO DON’T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MUSIC.

I was already in a boarding school in Australia when Bad came out…. “.. Your butt is mine..”?? Huh?

Wait a sec, is that MJ?? But this guy’s white! It’s from here on that I wasn’t into him anymore.

But the memories of Ben, Off the wall, “I say you wanna be startin’ somethin’”, human nature all bring back childhood memories. We used to huddle around sitting on the floor of our old house watching the Jackson 5.

“.. just call my name, and I’ll be there….”

Oh, and not forgetting “We are the ones who make a brighter day, so let’s start giving….”

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Lazy Sunday afternoon..

by Daddee on June 28, 2009

Caleb:
Is making a lot of “noise” now, with..

buh-bye;

Grr-grr- “go-go” is what is uttered whenever we are ready to go out. Now he’s the one telling us we should go out.

Ma’am-mee (nope, still not calling Daddee);

circa and dar (”circle” and “star”, when Daddee was doodling with him);

tonne-ner whenever we enter a tunnel, or even under overhead bridges that remotely resemble anything undercover;

Runs around in circles of present-moment’s object of desire on the floor- a toy, a piece of paper, etc.

Caitlin:
She was pretty proud that she could rubber-band tie her rolled up doodling (”treasure map”) with a double twirl all by herself.

Caitlin’s cough and sniffles is getting better; thank goodness there’s no fever otherwise I’d be bringing her straight to a doctor, for obvious reasons of what’s in the air these days.

It’s mid afternoon. I think we’ll grr-grr to Midvalley using the tonne-ner parking, since really there’s nothing to do otherwise at home :)

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My Father’s day

by Daddee on June 22, 2009

How did I spend it?

Father’s Day isn’t really a big thing in my own family, but it is a little bigger in Hot Mummee’s (not a major thing, just bigger than mine).

Since we usually spend our weekends at my parents’ place (my kids rarely get to see them during the week), today we had dinner at HM’s with steamed and fried crab, along with some other yummy foods. But the highlight was a inhouse photo session earlier in the afternoon at my parents’.

I think I have shared before that my older brother has been bitten by the photography bug since just before Caleb was born, which means it’s been about 18-19 months now that he’s really been into photography. He’s taken a lot great shots while professing that he’s still got lots to learn. He’s also shared before that he should have started this hobby years ago, cos he’s lost all those opportune times of shooting his own kids as they were growing.

So, whenever the opportunity arises, he’d like to help me shoot my kids; since I don’t have the (finances!) gear that really snaps really good photos. He’s also been investing in flashes, and have started experimenting with mood-creations by playing with the different lighting conditions.

Such was this afternoon’s highlight. HM was out at the hair salon, the helper was at our places doing the weekly clean, and I was left doing all of: Looking after the 2 kids, help directing Caitlin in the photo shoots, holding the (remote) camera flashes or reflectors to get good light, making sure Caleb wasn’t in the way / in the shots / annoying his uncle, and getting fed!

These are two of what he’s taken. I have the rest put away as timeless treasures now.

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That sewing machine, mum had only mentioned this afternoon that one of the mechanisms had lasted over 50 years, before it needed replacing, and the new part didn’t even last a year. The same was for the “belt” that is attached from the foot pedal, that turns that wheel you see, which drives the sewing needle.

Yes, she’s had that for over 50 years. Her mum had taught her how to sew, and my mum’s first “job” was actually sewing, when she was only reaching her early teens (she didn’t go on to secondary school).

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Caleb at 17 months

by Daddee on June 16, 2009

I have mentioned about his shifty eyes, looking at Daddee funny with an attitude, when he was only 6 months old.

Now he doesn’t look at me when I tell him off.

He’d sometimes take forever to finish his bottle of milk. 3/4 through and he’d stop, get off the sofa, wanders around for whatever / whoever. He’d look for HM, his jie-jie, or just because. He’d walk to walls and slap it. He’d come over and put his head on your lap and then rubs his face (nose) on it too, hands free.

Sometimes he’d stop the milk with “nn-more” accompanied by the “finished” hand gesture, as if you’d believe that the 3/4 bottle is empty; and proceed to get off the sofa.

Just because he can walk. At 17 months he is walking around, screaming demanding for stuff, stuff his jie-jie has just because she is holding it, screaming because his jie-jien snatches it back, screaming just because he has a voice. He’d also mumble. Sometimes imitating words he’d immediately heard uttered by the adults around him, sometimes it’s his own words that he’d used before, like that dah-den that seems to me to describe anything and everything in his universe.

I’d go over, carry him back to the sofa, sit him down and get down to his eye level, grunting “Finish your naan-naan!”

He’d look past me. At the tv behind me, at the wall behind me, at the shelf behind me. Just not at me. He’d move his head slightly, but it’s usually just the use of his eyes, no need wasting energy moving the head. No, don’t make eye-contact with Daddee, let’s drive him crazy a bit more. Ignore the bugger.

* Now I know what my mum went through, getting me to sit down and finish whatever it was I was supposed to do! And Caleb is not even 2 yet!

I was gonna say “It has begun”.. but you know it had already begun even before he turned 1! Ugh!

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First day back at school

by Daddee on June 15, 2009

You can just hear the moans from all the kids around Malaysia this Monday morning, Caitlin’s included.

I had taken June 8, 9, and 10 off to do something with her, those days (already) being the 2nd week of her 2-week school break. Due to some urgency of needing to quickly setup some stock trading accounts, Hot Mummee and I, instead, were in Singapore on Monday and Tuesday. Thinking I could then make it up to Caitlin on Wednesday, she developed a fever. Luckily by Thursday it had subsided, and Friday she was fine.

So on Saturday, we all went up to the Genting Highlands again, seeing as it was gonna only be a daytrip to anywhere at all. We did initially think about going away a few days… but logistics with a 1-year old and other factors kinda dampened that spirit!

Naturally, this was already the second time we took Caitlin there (her 3rd visit, actually. First one was when Yee-Yee was in town when she was probably 2+). She was already gearing to ride that “up-down”up-down” ride again. But either this Daddee was getting a bit old and slow or that this Daddee through the years have become wiser (at least about the weather!) that I decided we should try out the indoor theme park instead. :)

Her first reactions from only 2 rides “Why is this so slow??” Daddee is kinda glad that Caitlin has his genes. HM’s not into rides and would very likely not join us when the kids are in their teens to venture on rollercoasters- we no doubt we would be “graduating” to bigger and better rides as the kids grow!

Anyway, it did rain outside, so it was just as well we were indoors. Really, the only 2 rides that I could tell she liked were one that Caitlin only just qualified for (otherwise she would be too tall!)- one that is basically a train of cars that looped around a very minor coaster-like track; and the monorail, which looped outside/outdoors; allowing us to confirm that it did indeed rain.

This visit however, we did also bring Caleb along. But he had only just hung with HM and Grandma and Grandpa; only Caitlin and I went to the theme park. HM’s justification would be that it would be too expensive for so many people to go; but it really because she wants to enjoy the buffet at the cafe :) Besides, someone had to watch over Caleb anyway, who incidentally was apparently sleeping the whole time the adults were munching away at the food!

Thinking this was still something of a waste of school holidays, Sunday afternoon, even if it was really just a simple dinner and the stroll to get some Burger King (!) takeaway for HM, I still brought Caitlin out to The Gardens, as a small treat. We shared a meatball spaghetti thingy from Italiannies :) Since she again didn’t nap in the afternoon, I was quite happy that she knocked off between 9:30 to 10pm last night, all ready for school

So then, back to topic.

Therefore, this morning as you can imagine, it was all moans and groans. Having been one myself oh-s0-many decades ago, I sympathised with her and sat with her for a while, watching her stretch, rub her eyes, complain.

I don’t wanna go to schooooooooooool….

I want Daddee to stay with meeeee……

I don’t wanna go to schooooooooooool…..

This was going on all the way to just before the front of her school. Being slightly behind schedule due to traffic (after all everyone’s going back to school too), I opted to drop her off at school first instead of Caleb at Grandma’s first.

Opened the door for her, helped her with her backpack, knelt down to her level. got my usual kiss, gave her mine, and soon she was trotting off to school again, pony-tail swinging side to side. The usual sight.

I hope her spirit is indeed revived, as I promised her it will when she sees her schoolfriends again this morning.

This is/was the circus that's playing now

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Differences in parenting

by Daddee on June 11, 2009

Yeah, I have been rather lazy on this blog- I know.

So here’s the “dilemma” in the making; one that we will very likely come across in our role as parents; likely more than once in fact.

Say you have more than 1 child in the family. You have planned for a getaway- be it a holiday, or simply a trip to the mall. And one of your kids falls ill.

Do you:

  1. Go ahead with the plan, leave the sick child behind;
  2. Cancel the whole trip (and work out how to re-coop the funds or change the dates)?

So it’s the school holidays; this being the 2nd week already in the 2-week break. I had taken yesterday off planning to bring Caitlin out, even if it was a simple trip to the mall (the kids are cooped up at home too much too long). By lunch time Caitlin’s fever seemed to have returned. But she knew of the mall-plan, and pleaded to still be able to go.

“No, we are (all) not going anymore; just quickly finish your lunch and we’ll get you your meds..”

By which time Hot Mummee gave me the death stare.

Why should everyone not be able to go anymore just because one is unable to??

Perhaps I grew up in a household where, from experience, I was once down with something and the whole family wasn’t able to make the daytrip to the local beach; and that this was also the same “philosophy” practised by some shows / movies I have seen. My rationale is that it is very unfair for the sick child to be left behind whilst the rest gets to “have fun”, adding salt to the already sulking spirit.

HM however, is of the opinion that the party should still go ahead, and leave the sick child with a relative; that the deposits (or whatever) and plans made for the trip should not be wasted.

What would you do?

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No photos please!

by Daddee on June 1, 2009

:)

Caleb fooling around

I gotta check the old camera again; I actually think Caitlin took this shot!

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Connection between siblings, on a beanbag?

by Daddee on May 25, 2009

“Back in the day” when I was single and first started out having my own (bachelor’s) pad, I went and got myself a beanbag- a double seater beanbag, for bringing dates home, cook them dinner, maybe get them to watch a DVD with me on this beanbag hoping to lead somewhere *wink* :P

Somehow it was always only me on it, usually falling asleep on it watching the Discovery channel ALONE; finding out that it’s not really all that healthy for my lower back either. Even when Hot Mummee and I were dating, the double seater was never “used”. She always thought it was dirty, I guess ‘cos it was always on the floor and never really been cleaned. Heck she’d even tell me off about that when I do lie on it.

Never had two persons on it, until recently.

Tonight, the kids were on it again. Rolling, climbing, jumping and plopping themselves on it. Tonight however, was a little different: Either one of them had moved her/his head, and their heads connected- I think Caitlin got a bump somewhere on her face.

She starts crying (which usually means it must’ve been quite painful ‘cos she doesn’t cry much). Caleb sees her jie jie crying, he starts crying too!

HM goes and comforts Caitlin, since Caleb was just “reacting”. I think HM kinda tickled Caitlin, because Caitlin starts to smile, and starts giggling and laughing.

Yup, Caleb starts to laugh too!

It’s actually quite a funny/interesting “connection”. I would like to think that Caleb starts to cry simply because he hears another child in distress. But when Caitlin (then) starts to laugh, that he too starts laughing must also mean that the “contagiousness” of this works on both sad and happy too!

Not that I am complaining, just interesting. Also good that the two are indeed playing with one another. Just hope this keeps up, but that the snatching will stop soon- that Caleb starts understanding more and starts talking, so that we can be less one-sided than we are now with Caitlin having to give in 99% of the time “because he doesn’t understand yet….”

Funnily, Hot Mummee hasn’t really said anything about it being “dirty” for the kids. She’s always let them lie and roll around on it.

I think she knew my intention with the beanbag during those dating days. Darn it.

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McDonald’s McValue McParty!

by Daddee on May 21, 2009

Caitlin’s classmate Chloe had her birthday party at Centrepoint’s McDonald’s over the weekend.

I had organized Caitlin’s 4 year old birthday party before, and one of my criteria was that all the kids should enjoy the party or event. I did consider McD’s then, but didn’t think it was going to be all that fun, as I thought it was just all sit-down and eat, with party packs and hats to take-away, and maybe the chance for them to go crazy at the indoor playground.

I was wrong.

The party invitation, a McD stationary no less, stated that Chloe’s party is from 12-1:30. We only arrived around 12:10, cos since it was a Sunday lunch time all the good shaded parking spots were taken. Darn it I had to park in the sun, illegally no less. Went in, saw the sign that said “Chloe’s party” pointing upstairs. Went upstairs and some of the kids were already at their designated-just-for-kiddies long table munching away at their fries. An older kid came to greet us, and asked what Caitlin’s name was. “Hey, that’s my name too!” quipped the probably-10-years-old girl, and proceeded to write the name on Caitlin’s McD cap.

kid_crowd_tilt

Caitlin then was led to the table to an empty seat. Rather apprehensive at first, as she is when attending any event, she soon got comfortable with her friends and found her fries and the McD toy in her mealbox, with her hat on - which is still at home today :)

mcd_hat_tilt

Okay, so now what do I do? The playground doesn’t look like it will hold my weight….. I thought.

There were other parents there. I noticed some of them were talking to a McD staff. Others seemed to already know one another. Relatives, is what I thought. Do parents of school kids get involved with each other??

I didn’t know anyone, so I sat myself down to watch the kids for a while. Wait a sec, what about me- the kids are eating, and I am starting to get hungr..

“What would you like to eat sir?” said the same McD staff from before.

Isn’t this a fast-food self-order restaurant? “Err….” I was just thinking about going downstai…

“Would you like to try the Spicy Chicken McDeluxe?”

“Okay”. Can’t say I have heard of that menu-item before; Qtr Pounder and McChicken- yeah. This one must be new…?

Soon the staff came back with a tray full of the red boxes, closely followed by another with a tray full of fries and drinks. I warfed mine down, and so did the other parents; partly cos I was getting hungry, but mainly cos this is some tasty chicken burger with some spicy zing to it! ;) It wasn’t bad, just like the McChicken that I always get, but with that extra kick, and it also seemed crunchier. I never liked adding sauce to most things I eat (not even on fries) so the spiciness of this burger is just what I liked, without the sugar of sauces.

“Cabbage-between-the-teeth for seconds anyone?”

I soon realised that Chloe’s mum was taking care of even the adults’ meals as well, so after I kinda picked my teeth to make myself presentable (cabbage-between-the-teeth for seconds anyone?) I went over to thank her for it. Made some small talk. By this time the kids were being rounded up for some games and activities already.

I realized then that my impressions of a McD’s birthday party was all wrong. The kids didn’t just sit around wearing their hats, munching on fries and going home with party packs (which btw contained a colouring book, colour pencils, and stickers of “My name is…”). There were 2 staff there actually getting the kids to play pass the ball, musical chairs and even the quintessential happy birthday song, complete with a big chair fit for the princess for the day!

clap_hands_tilt

In all this time, I was trying to capture as much as I can photos of my darling girl, who is growing up so quickly … and then, not suddenly but slowly …. something still didn’t feel right in my stomach.

Hmmm…

I looked around the upstairs a little bit. Should I leave Caitlin “unattended” while I step away for a while? Will she freak out if she can’t find me? Or will she even notice that I wasn’t around?

I took the chance. Headed straight downstairs hoping that it was gonna be a quick one, and found that there was a queue! Yikes, I gotta wait!

Tick tock tick tock….

Soon, it was my turn, and I conducted the “transaction” as fast as I could, and quickly went back upstairs, happy with myself with what I needed to do, and also that Caitlin didn’t even notice I was gone, being so engrossed with the games that the staff were putting on.

Sat myself down again, and enjoyed ANOTHER SPICY CHICKEN McDELUXE McVALUE MEAL!

mcd_burp

Heh heh! Now I was happy.

We left only at 2pm, even though most of the kids were still loitering. The real reason we had to leave was because, as stated in the invitation, the party was only supposed to be until 1:30pm, because at 2pm another one was starting!

Thank goodness I still managed to get the the second McValue meal- it’s actually catered for the lunch period, 12-3pm; but luckily it’s on everyday! Guess where I’d be having a value-lunch mostly these days, now that they also have a new menu-item (at least for me) that’s to my taste? RM5.95 only, no less?

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I did, twice in a day!

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I’m a busy man, you know..

by Daddee on May 18, 2009

Hmm? We are going where?

Okay, lemme check my schedule first…..

Lemme check my sched

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Teaching children the value of money

by Daddee on May 18, 2009

I have always had 2 pairs of sunglasses. They both live in my car, naturally, for driving.

The first pair I got before we had kids. It’s rather fancy in that it’s a wire framed one and therefore rather fragile. The second pair I got probably 2 years ago, from a golf shop. It’s the polarised type, for rough use like driving and walking about. It’s cheap-ish, under RM100. Personally I prefer the polarised ones because it’s actually a lot clearer and more “contrast” in AV speak, if I can even describe it this way.

Recently the second pair cracked at the frame above the lens (no it’s not in 2 pieces, bottom part of frame is still holding it together). It’s likely due to wear and tear- I do after all put it on the top of my head often. I super-glued it, and it was okay till a few days ago when I heard the same snap at the same place, and on top of my head too :)

So I found myself contemplating a new pair, while still “preserving” the first wire-frame pair. I can’t really say why other than the fact that it’s too fragile for my regular use. Okay, I do subscribe to retail therapy too!

Caitlin is at the age now where she is asking for stuff. Stuff that she sees on tv, while shopping, stuff that her peers in school has. Sometimes it’s new things, sometimes it’s new things of stuff she already has, justifying it by saying her younger brother can have the hand-me-down. Only last night she said she would like a new doll, the one that poops (!) I asked what about her current one. She says Caleb can have that one. She probably learned about hand me downs when, among other things, she’s seen and knows that Caleb wears her older pj’s, especially when we joke about her/his pink ones!

So, when I have the chance and when she brings it up, I explain to her that there are things we don’t always need, or need new ones of. Trying to teach her the concept of trade-offs, that if you save now you may be able to afford something else later, or that if you spend it now, you’d have less of “money” left for other possibly more important things.

99% of the time she accepts the explanation. We do get her new things when we feel like she needs a pamper or that something indeed does replacing. Lucky for us so far she is quite easy to please. So long as it’s a new something, she is happy- examples are new toothbrush or toothpaste! Or even a doorgift from some conference I attended, or a McD toy.

Anyway.

So while the rough-use pair of sunglasses is sitting at home waiting for me to retry and stick back together, I took out the wire-frame to wear while driving. 4year olds are actually quite observant creatures. While I quipped when the second pair cracked, she knew and suggested i glue it back together. She also knew I did so, and that I was waiting for it to dry.

So when she saw the wire-frame, she asked where it came from. I had to tell her that I owned 2 pairs.

If she was smarter or older, I would have left myself open to a trap of “How come you have 2 (of the same thing)?? Daddee???”

I can’t remember how I got out of that one, but I didn’t have to justify myself. I think she had just accepted it- lucky for me.

So now, I know I can’t go get myself another pair- spend money like I used to before marriage and kids. Before, because these are not big ticket things, I wouldn’t really hesitate much. but now, because as all parents know, we are constantly being watched as examples, I know I gotta practise what I preach.

How have you been teaching your kids about money?

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His second audible word

by Daddee on May 9, 2009

“Nnn-more”.. with the rotate of the hands / wrist (most Asians use this gesture to indicate so).

He uses it for indicating something’s gone.

He uses it when he presses the remote and something else (not what he wants) comes on.

He uses it when the show’s end credits start scrolling.

He uses it for indicating he’s got nothing left to pee, which usually means he’s already wet something before, or will wet something after, soon.

He uses it when he pushes your hand away, when you put the bottle to his mouth. No it’s not finished.

But this Daddee uses it back on him too.

He uses it for indicating something’s gone

He uses it when he presses the remote and something else (what he wants) comes on. Usually when it’s also his bedtime. My time; after I nego with Hot Mummee

He uses it when Caleb drops something (usually his baby toy) on purpose (and glares at you), and Daddee’s done picking it up for him the nth time.

He uses it for indicating Hot Mummee’s not around when she’s gone into hiding (we all know how clingy he is to her, so we are trying to break that)

Heh.

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His first steps

by Daddee on May 7, 2009

Well, alright- he’s been walking for about 3 weeks now.

Check out the various expressions during his stroll in Grandad’s front yard!

Various expressions!

Told you he’s a good looking kid after all with this crewcut :)

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He’s actually a pretty good looking kid

by Daddee on May 2, 2009

Wednesday night I left the office late, so Hot Mummee was already at Grandma’s and picked up the kids.

I got downstairs of our unit to help pick them and other stuff up. And I saw him with the new haircut.

Caleb's new haircut

I know his earlier haircut needed some “help”; Grandma took it upon herself to cut his hair, and made somewhat of a mess of it!

So they took Caleb to a cheap Indian barber shop, told him to do a “number 2″.

I am kinda jealous. I don’t have the type of face or shape of head that will do a number 2 justice. I’d look like an ass; ok, I’d look more like an ass then- okay??

I gotta take more shots of him either in stills or video; he’s SOOO cute walking around sporting this haircut, when he’s still learning to walk properly! And despite the haircut, it does look good on him!

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What’s your parenting kryptonite?

by Daddee on April 29, 2009

Hissychick blogged about this.

I had wanted to respond there with mine, but didn’t quite know which one to mention, until this morning.

Last night / wee hours this morning Caleb woke crying. Mind you his cries are a combo of wail and screams.

And kept on crying and crying.

And crying and crying and crying.

I did hear Hot Mummee trying to appease him.

But he kept crying and crying and crying.

Somewhere in there HM very loudly grunted at him (grunts is our current baby-talk version for scolding, since 15 month olds still dont know language; at least for this one). The grunt made him jump; I felt it.

And crying and crying….

Luckily sleepyhead Caitlin stayed asleep. She needs her sleep because she has been noted to be dozing off at school in the mornings.

This is my kryptonite because I get the shits from a grumpy Hot Mummee too. From her lack of sleep, and from the fact that she is a light(er) sleeper than I and thus wakes before me and resents me for it!

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Parents and children relationships: Parent or friends?

by Daddee on April 27, 2009

I wonder if this happens in other cultures / countries.

Taken from today’s The Star list of popular articles.

Sex affair just to spite parents
By ANDREW SAGAYAM

KUALA LUMPUR: More underage girls are having sex to get back at their parents for neglecting them.

This startling information was revealed by police who said that the girls had initially claimed they were raped but later admitted to have consented to sex with their boyfriends.

Statistics compiled since 2005 showed that the number of girls below 16 years old who are sexually active has been increasing every year.

The study also revealed that an alarming 60% of girls between the ages of 13 and 15 had sex because they “wanted revenge” on their parents. Sex with a girl aged under 16 is classified as statutory rape under the Penal Code.

The girls, largely from urban areas, confessed that they had befriended men as they were angry with their parents for subjecting them to emotional and physical “abuse”.

While some had sex with men just to get back at their parents, others were coerced into it by the very men they had turned to for solace, said Asst Comm Suguram Bibi Munshi Deen, head of the Sexual Abuse and Children’s Division at Bukit Aman.

Noting that teen rape had risen since 2005, she said that the victims – mostly from cities and major towns in Selangor, Johor and Kedah – usually ended up pregnant.

“We are not pointing a finger or exposing the private lives of families but the public must realise what is happening,” said ACP Suguram Bibi.

“Children, teenagers and youths are our future leaders and we as adults, parents or guardians must guide and instil in them right and proper values.”

Statistics from 2005 to 2008 showed 75% of the rape victims were below 18 years old and at least 60% of the girls were below 16. Boys below 18 made up between 8.4% and 13.6% of the “rapists”.

The study also showed that teenagers got bored easily, craved attention or wanted the freedom to express themselves.

ACP Suguram Bibi said parents should educate sons to respect the opposite sex and not take advantage of them.

“We also found that some boys were challenged by their peers and forced to commit sex acts to prove that he was one of the gang and to stop being ridiculed.”

She advised parents to understand the law better and welcomed inquiries from anyone on investigation procedures in sexual assault cases.

While I have always thought and advocated being your (my) children’s good friends rather than being too much of a parent to them, I do recall coming across an article not that long ago saying that befriending one’s child is (still) not a good idea.

I can’t remember the reasons, but I think it was something like: with parenting comes more discipline (than being friends).

Okay, let’s just say then that it should be a mix of the two, that it’s still parenting but that the kids should still feel they can trust me enough to confide in me, that they won’t worry about being implicated / reprimanded for approaching me.

I am of this position because I wasn’t really “friends” with my own parents. Don’t get me wrong they are good parents; just that I felt I couldn’t confide in them. And now that I am a parent and would like to be involved with what my kids do, I want to be involved, at least in the know, of their thought process and patterns, and at least be in the position to be able to advise them of decisions.

What do you put in place when your kids are growing (in whatever age bracket) for both boys and girls in the family?

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His first audible word

by Daddee on April 17, 2009

And again, it’s not Daddee.

He’s been pronouncing; more like uttering, “words” beginning with “D”. Such as “duh duh duh duh…” or “den den den…”

Tonight, I kinda figured out how to “spell” something he’s been uttering for about a week now.

Ardent; without the “t” of course.

On a related matter of his development, his walking is a lot more steady now. It’s quite amazing how within 3 days of making the first steps, he’s now walk-chasing his jie jie quick briskly.

Mind you, Hot Mummee thought his style of walking reminded her of one she knows but can’t quite put her finger on, until I reminded her of it.

Orangutan. Yup, legs spaced apart, arms up.

Heh.

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